trust issues pleaseeee help me im desperate.

[cauldfield13]

heyy so ive been with my boyfriend for 18 months, im 19 and hes 22. when we got together he'd just come out of a 5 year relationship about 6 weeks previously. but he swore blind i wasnt a rebound and the previous relationship was dead anyway for a while so i just went along with it. anyhow he said he loved me after a month and it all happened really fast. now one of the main reasons i liked him was that he was in university studying biochemistry and i thought that was really attractive as i wanted to study something similar and he was gona do something awesome with his life. a year on, we'd planned a holiday and he was acting really weird with me and his family, wouldnt talk to his family and wanted to stay at my house for weeks on end and wouldnt talk to us about university. we went away and came back and he still would not go back home. so in the end i forced him to because frankly i needed some space. our sex life was pretty dead and we were bickering and i knew he was lying about sometihng. in the end it turned out that he'd lied to everyone saying he'd been going to uni for the year but really he'd been going and sitting on the park or something by himself (apparently) but he could have been anywhere. so one of the main reasons i was with him is gone and i find out he's been lying to me for the entire year we'd been together. but he apologised profusely and i stayed with him even though i knew i couldnt trust him. then everything started going wrong. he'd keep lying and i'd catch him out, he'd bitch about me to his friends in texts when i was sat right by him, he'd say he wanted to be with other girls and he would purposefully ignore me and be mean in front of his friends to show off. then i moved to another city close to where we live to attend a university there and he got all insecure that i would leave him and was truly nasty to me, had me by the throat one night when he was visiting. And then at the beginning of university i wanted to end it because i realised that i couldnt trust him and he'd been horrible to me and i didnt want to be treated like that by someone who supposedly loved me!! but he grovelled to me, so i stayed with him. then there was another incident over christmas where we were meant to be going on a night out with some mutual friends. HE planned that me and him would go to the first place with our friends, then when they all went on to the second place, we'd go home to his house, even though i wanted to go to the second place with our friends but i just went along with his plan. when we got there, he called one of our male friends 'skinny' and i instinctively looked at the friend to see how skinny he was as i'd never noticed. well my boyfriend flipped out for looking at him and made me go home... so i went home. he went to the second place without me, woke up in a hospital the next morning cos he got too drunk and he had no idea where he'd been. he had sent messages to girls in the days after saying 'im sorry about last night' and stuff!?! i ended our relationship the day after this but he turned up at my house grovelling so i took him back. basically im sore about all this stuff and feel i cant trust him but im so scared of being single and being unhappy. he says he loves me all the time and stuff but i really just cant bring myself to believe him as i have a feeling in my gut a lot of the time that he is just saying it but doesnt mean it, and i feel that i was probably a rebound from his previous relationship and i'm just the replacement for his ex. i have no idea what i should do and dont really have any close friends i can talk to about this. i've spoken to him about a lot of this but he just point blank disagrees with me all the time. someone please help? im desperate. thank you

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Dump him. Tell him you're sleeping with someone else and not to contact you at all. Completely ignore him when he does.

[cauldfield13]

howcome you say that? i appreciate the reply, thank you

[BackUpOrGetStng]

I say that because you don't have the spine to break up with him if he begs and pleads. You probably feel like you're being mean or something. That's not the case. He's been violent with you already, so that's enough to leave right there. I have no sympathy if he stabs you to death with a kitchen knife, because you had a warning. Break up with him over the phone. Tell him you're sleeping with someone else, so that he knows you're serious about not wanting him, and then just ignore him so he can't get in your head and convince you to come back. Delete him from facebook and everything.

[cauldfield13]

thank you. this is exactly what i needed to be told.