Girl texts/calls me constantly but never wants to hang out anymore and lies about....

[Xeros]

Ok, so this is the most confusing girl I've ever been with. Here's how our "relationship" has gone so far.

Week 1:
I ask her out after meeting her briefly at a local place to eat. We go out for a quick drink two nights later and have a pretty good time. It was only a quick get together to get a feel for the other person, plus it was a work night so we only spent about 90 minutes together.

I ask her out again to come to the same bar, it's still a work night but we're going with a bunch of other couples/people I know. She comes and brings a few of her friends. We spend the entire night talking and laughing. Neither of us said a word to either of our friends and just sat next to each other at the bar for a good 4-5 hours. We have a metric crap ton in common and have very similar families and sense of humor. I quickly develop a crush and by the end of the night we both admit our respective crushes to each other. She comes over to my apartment and I ask her if she wants me to bring her home. She says no, smiles, and ends up sleeping over. We end up having sex and afterwards lay in bed talking and laughing all night. This girl is amazing.

The next day we're both completely tired from getting no sleep, but go to work anyway. We both slack off all day and text back and forth until it's time to go home. She comes over again straight after work. We take a shower together, but we're both so tired we end up just falling asleep cuddling on the couch.

Over the next couple of days she comes over a lot, but never again sleeps over and we never get further than making out on the couch. That's more than fine by me as it might have been too soon anyway, but we're still laughing and getting along great.

Week 2:
We hang out on Monday and have a good time like usual. She says she can't wait to see me again and I go home happy as usual after dropping her off......here is where things get confusing. I ask her if she wants to hang out every day for the next week....every single time she has an excuse. I start to get suspicious because some of her "excuses" are very suspicious.

Reasons why she can't go out/come over:
-She's sick but still goes to work every day and finds time to go to a local Oktoberfest with her friends. Also texts me about going bike riding through the park even though she had just turned me down because she was too sick...

-She has to go to a family friends funeral........at 11pm at night....This seemed like a last second panic lie it was so bad..

-She has to work on the weekend.....yet when I get on Facebook there are brand new pictures of her with her friends up at Navy pier in the middle of the day. I check her friends FB wall and sure enough she talks about going to Navy Pier that weekend...


So I politely and understandingly confront her with the evidence I have. I even tell her that I understand why she might want to lie and that I'm not mad but would prefer it if she at least told me she didn't want to go out with me. She denies ever lying but doesn't get mad that I accused her. She just quickly moves on...maybe I should have been a bit more confrontational.

Week 3:
Same as week 2. I got her to go out one night and again we had fun. No weirdness at all. Again we kissed for awhile and then she went home. I thought things were back on.........but then she was back to using excuses to get out of being with me. The entire rest of the week she avoided me and was obviously lying again. Once she said she was out of town helping family, but I just happened to be driving by her house on my way to work and she was standing outside talking to her sister.....cmon...



So that's where I'm at right now. Normally I'd think she just doesn't like me that much and I'd just stop trying, but every single day she initiates contact with me. I rarely start conversations, she does. She'll text me in the morning to ask how I'm doing, she'll call in the afternoon to see how my day is, etc.

Why does she always want to talk to me, but never ever wants to see me in person? I'm not horribly deformed, and I really doubt that talking to me is intellectually rewarding enough to do it exclusively.....what is going on with this girl?

It's driving me crazy because this girl is perfect. Smart, funny, gorgeous, sexy, kind, aggressive (the good kind ;p), etc. How does she go from sleeping with me fairly early on, to never wanting to go out with me but still wanting to talk/text all the time?

What am I missing? Is she just after attention?

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Yes, she is after attention. Stop answering her calls and texts, and start looking for other girls. When she finally asks if you're mad or "do you hate me", or whatever, just tell her that you want to hang out and and you're tired of the constant texting. Tell her to call you if she wants to hang out, but otherwise, don't bother you with updates of her daily activities. Also tell her if she doesn't want to take things seriously, then that's cool with you and you two can see other people also.

She pulls back, you pull back, get it?

[Xeros]

She is pretty hot and gets hit on a lot, so I've always figured she craved attention, but what confuses me is that she spends a lot of the nights where she blows me off alone at her place. If she was after attention, she could easily get it by hanging out with me, but she chooses to sit at home and get little to no attention because she's alone.

And her texts aren't really her daily updates. She'll actually ask me about me a lot. What I'm doing, where I'm at, what my favorite things are, my past relationships, etc. Not just as a segue into her own stuff, she'll actually talk about me for awhile.

My plan is to give her until this weekend. If it's still the same I'm going to confront her a bit more harshly. Not angry or anything, just tell her that if she has no interest in actually being with me than I'm going to stop talking her. She insists that she "really likes me". I'm going to tell her that I've never heard of only wanting to see someone you "really like" once a week at most. I'd see her every single night if I could.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

I think that's a good plan. Just don't mention wanting to see her every single night. Instead, just say you want to see her as often as you can.

[smackie9]

Obviously she had nothing going on when she met you. Now she has better things she wants to do rather be all cuddly on the couch with you. She may seem "smart and funny" but she is lousy at communication, and lacks honesty, and is a good manipulator....you are a doormat, p ussy whipped....most would have not let her get away with lying. Now that she knows she can get away with it, she will continue to bs her way through this relationship.....nice girl.

[smackie9]

Since she is so hot, and every guy wants her, she knows that her looks lets her walk all over guys like you. Oh so you will "GIVE" her til the weekend, what then? She will bat her eyes at you, kiss you, tell you some more BS, and you give her another chance....maybe till wednsday, and then you push it to the following week to see if things get better, and then you giver her another chance, and wait again, then you come on here and complain about it, and everyone will say ignore her and make her come to you, you can't do it because you feel you will lose her, so you call here out, she smooths things over with another night, maybe you sex sex maybe not, you feel things are looking up, then she is busy again, says maybe call you this weekend, weekend comes, she leave a text she has a family emergency, you see on FB her pictures of her partying, and thanking her friends for a great time, you get pissed, and then the cycle starts over again.......