I just cried...

[kidditoes]

Don't know where to start. Maybe I made a wrong decision? After a year of dating, there's no sign of future, I don't even know if I actually know him well enough to call him my boyfriend.
Is this my problem? I was never introduced to his family, not even his close friends back home, is he just trying to separate me from his world? What am I to him?
I feel depressed. A year of what I thought was love is suddenly fading away. He doesn't show much care when I look sad, all he said was "I don't like you to be cranky."
And why would he ask me if I want to go out with other guys? It hurts my feeling every time he said that, even he claims he's just joking.
I used to be so happy at the thought of him, but now I'm fearful of him picking on me. What is this? Love?
He doesn't let me get to know him more,either. We're from two different countries, and whenever I ask him about his friends and family, he would pretty much just vague it out. He also never,ever told his family about me because,according to him, they're "crazy."
I don't know...do I still love him? He never talks about future, never bought me a flower (because he said that's materialistic), never did anything to make me happy. Not to mention it's always me going out of my way to see him. Should I break things off with him?
Maybe I'm just too sad to write a reasonable thread, and maybe it's just full of my negativity...my eyes are red from crying and I'm sleepy.
Goodnight.

[Kromat]

Don't know where to start. Maybe I made a wrong decision? After a year of dating, there's no sign of future, I don't even know if I actually know him well enough to call him my boyfriend.
Is this my problem? I was never introduced to his family, not even his close friends back home, is he just trying to separate me from his world? What am I to him?
I feel depressed. A year of what I thought was love is suddenly fading away. He doesn't show much care when I look sad, all he said was "I don't like you to be cranky."
And why would he ask me if I want to go out with other guys? It hurts my feeling every time he said that, even he claims he's just joking.
I used to be so happy at the thought of him, but now I'm fearful of him picking on me. What is this? Love?
He doesn't let me get to know him more,either. We're from two different countries, and whenever I ask him about his friends and family, he would pretty much just vague it out. He also never,ever told his family about me because,according to him, they're "crazy."
I don't know...do I still love him? He never talks about future, never bought me a flower (because he said that's materialistic), never did anything to make me happy. Not to mention it's always me going out of my way to see him. Should I break things off with him?
Maybe I'm just too sad to write a reasonable thread, and maybe it's just full of my negativity...my eyes are red from crying and I'm sleepy.
Goodnight.

A year quite long for a relationship as it should take about a month to 3 months, to consider it a relationship.
If after all effort and he's still Not letting you into his world, then it's just not worth it.
He most likely just sees you as a friend and you should pursue other people, If you think that way.

P.S. If i were you, i would leave him because he had his chances.

[nuevo]

where's he from?

[sine24]

from your post..it seems like you've managed to answer your own question. when in doubt throw him out!

[Citycat]

Leave the bastard.

[lastwish]

A guy like this is obviously selfish. Staying in the relationship will destroy your self confidence and self esteem and mess up your mind. I was in a similiar situation before.

I found this article on msn and I thought this might be helpful for you.

How To Attract the Right Man
Why do so many women settle for unsatisfying relationships?
We have all made excuses for the men in our lives – he is exhausted from work, he just went through a terrible breakup and has issues with commitment, his career has to be his priority because he is up for a promotion, he’s got to ‘find himself’ before he gets into a relationship and all the rest. Sound familiar?

Now, I’m not saying there aren’t men out there who are genuinely too busy to invest themselves in a healthy relationship. In many cases though, men who are just plain vile are sustained by pathetic excuses, born of his imagination or our own. The good news is that once the excuses disappear, so will the miserable men who are nowhere near good enough for you.

So how can a smart, savvy woman like yourself be less prone to falling victim to excuses? It’s easy if you follow these five common sense guidelines:

Desperate? Not You.

When you have been single for a long time or have invested a lot of energy into a relationship, it is easy to slip into desperation. The first step to overcoming this insecurity is to recognize it. Ask yourself, "Am I afraid to be alone?"

The familiar usually feels safer than change, even when the familiar is horrible; this philosophy is dangerous. You need to avoid the easy solution of rebounding or getting into an ‘on again off again’ affair – two situations that make you extremely vulnerable to excuses. Single is better than feeling like you need a relationship or being in a relationship that is unsatisfying. Believe me, I know the consequences of desperation first hand and I’m telling you, it’s not worth it.

Confidence is the Name of the Game

This one is simple. When women are lacking in confidence and a belief in their own self worth, they become easy prey for selfish men who have no problem taking advantage of their insecurities. If you are struggling with celebrating who you are or what you look like, there are ways to bring out the fabulousness that is you.
• be active and healthy
• find ways to feel sexy
• engage yourself in activities that are challenging and rewarding
• surround yourself with people who love and depend on you
Possessing this inner confidence in who you are will give you a beauty that is genuine and enduring and something entirely separate from your exterior. Once you are proud of yourself, you won't make or accept any flimsy excuses.

Men Are From Mars

Remember that men do not rationalize the same way women do. You have heard this before – to men, not all sexual relationships are romantic. A good friend of mine put it very concisely, “Women fantasize. We hope. We dream. Guys don’t.”

This isn’t true in all cases, but it does apply to many. If this makes you uncomfortable, then don’t get into a sexual relationship without first establishing an emotional connection. If it doesn’t bother you, well then all the power to you. Regardless, this is a truth about men; understand it rather than making excuses for it.

Set Your Standards in Stone
Remember being a teenager and divulging to girlfriends your idea of the perfect man? I have to ask, where did this dream go? After years of dating and bad experiences, so many women let go of little pieces of Prince Charming and are left with something far less desirable. Don’t.

Why do so many women settle for unsatisfying relationships?
Now obviously some things have to be compromised – he may not be a millionaire, royalty or a movie star, but what about the other requirements? I bet loving, sensitive, smart, humourous and loyal were among them. Ladies, I am pleading with you – do not abandon your ideal man. Have faith and expect the best for yourself and you may be surprised at what you receive in return. When you find him, you'll have no need for tiresome excuses.

I’m also willing to wager that more men would learn to be better behaved if, in general, our standards were higher. Now that’s a novel idea.

Be Aware of Bad Behaviour

I understand that even the best men make mistakes, that occasionally a man does deserve a second chance and that we need to be forgiving to expect forgiveness in return. There is one 'but' however: be very careful of how many of the proverbial ‘second’ chances you allow. It is far too easy to find yourself giving out ‘fourteenth’ chances without even realizing it.

Furthermore, women want to justify their forgiveness by making an excuse for their man’s poor behaviour – avoid this at all costs. Take notice when problems are happening or if the same one seems to be running on repeat. If you keep track of how many times you have accepted the same lame apology, it'll be easier for you to spot an abusive relationship and validate your decision to get out of it ASAP.

________________________________________
say goodbye to your excuses

So you see, there is no need to settle for the next one to come along. Start with yourself and work outwards from there. You'd be surprised at how quickly men take notice of that woman with confidence sitting across the room. Now wouldn't you like to be her?

source:[url]http://lifestyle.sympatico.msn.ca/relationships/newcontentposting_thesoko?newsitemid=thesoko-308&feedname=thesoko_v2&show=false&number=3&showby line=true&subtitle=&detect=&abc=abc&date=false&pag enumb[/url]

[n2u4reelguy]

it's so very sad that you have put your heart, trust and respect into what is undeniably the wrong guy; I'm a man and I can tell you this; when a man is happy to be with his women he wants to share the good news; also sounds like he's just to freak'in cowardly to just tell you he wantsot of the relationshp; I wouldn't even care to guess why.

Your tears are for real but this man isn't; even if he's not looking to marry or take the relationship to the next level his utter disrespect for you at this point is intolerable.


It's only my opinion but salvage what is left of your heart and allow time to mend it; learn from the not good situation and move on and in time your tears will dry up and you'll be able to move on.

I wish you the best.

[Kromat]

I find it sad that there are so many women that are so easy to please, that they become mistreated and taken advantage of.
I joined Lavalife, to see If it works and share my personality.
I got some smiles and messages liking what I have written and was very flattered.
I am just concerned with how how many attractive people I see there, so many disappointed women trying to find their future partner, because the bar scene just isn't attracting the right people.

I can't believe it took you a year to find out though, learn from this and move on.

[1averagejoe]

Lastwish...that post was GrkScorp worthy.

But back on subject, dump the guy.

[n2u4reelguy]

Hey there, I responded to your post earlier but just jumped back on line; I am a guy who os asking my woman for a 2nd chance; I don't know if she'll give it to me but if she does I swear she'll never regret it; I treated her as best I can to show her how I feel; why am I saying this? When a man loves a woman he doesn't need any instruction and he sure as hell doesn't make excuses for not doing all the things she so deserves; saying good bye is to someone you really care about just flat out sucks and feels really bad but staying in the situation only makes things worse; get your love and support from family and friends and move on; there is calm after the storm

[jayped]

Don't know where to start. Maybe I made a wrong decision? After a year of dating, there's no sign of future, I don't even know if I actually know him well enough to call him my boyfriend.
Is this my problem? I was never introduced to his family, not even his close friends back home, is he just trying to separate me from his world? What am I to him?
I feel depressed. A year of what I thought was love is suddenly fading away. He doesn't show much care when I look sad, all he said was "I don't like you to be cranky."
And why would he ask me if I want to go out with other guys? It hurts my feeling every time he said that, even he claims he's just joking.
I used to be so happy at the thought of him, but now I'm fearful of him picking on me. What is this? Love?
He doesn't let me get to know him more,either. We're from two different countries, and whenever I ask him about his friends and family, he would pretty much just vague it out. He also never,ever told his family about me because,according to him, they're "crazy."
I don't know...do I still love him? He never talks about future, never bought me a flower (because he said that's materialistic), never did anything to make me happy. Not to mention it's always me going out of my way to see him. Should I break things off with him?
Maybe I'm just too sad to write a reasonable thread, and maybe it's just full of my negativity...my eyes are red from crying and I'm sleepy.
Goodnight.

Please dump him... he is of no worth of your tearz girl..... he had his chances already.... move on!