Is it worth waiting? Hope or no hope?

[pinkinterlude]

Me and my bf ended our relationship just over 2 weeks ago.
We've still been in contact though after the first week, I told him I didnt think he should contact me anymore until he knows what he wants, as it was all giving me false hope.

I brought up the idea of breaking up cos he admitted he wasnt over his ex of 3 years but wanted to be. At first he was trying to persuade me not to end things but I thought we should so he could have some time to get over her.

After a few days, I felt it was a mistake and he still contacted me. I felt that as long as he actually wanted to get over her and move on, it shouldnt be an issue. This was the only issue we had in our whole relationship. I told him I wanted us to get back together but he said he thinks maybe he should have some time to sort his head out cos he doesnt want to hurt me. I told him I understood.

though still he contacted me, turned up to my house a week after breaking up saying he couldnt bear the thought of me meeting someone else. Then the next day, we just talked things through. I told him I wanted to be with him still and he said the same but 'doesnt know'. Thats when I said contact me when you do.

Then a week went by with no contact.I went out again on friday. He texts me at 11pm asking if I was in the usual place I go to to cos him and his mates are going and he doesnt want to ruin my night. I replied saying 'I wasnt and dont be silly he would ruin my night, have fun;. He replied back jokingly that he would only embarrass me with his dance moves anyway.

At 3am, he texts asking if I want to meet him cos he wants to see me but I didnt reply cos it was obvious what he wanted. He text again saying he justwants to see me and wants to talk. He text again half an hour later saying if I know that I want to see him then he'll be waiting for me. I didnt reply cos I assumed he was drunk and by this point I had gone home.

I got another text saying 'Im drunk, can I come with you?' Then a few phone calls. I didnt answer them cos I got really upset and didnt want him to hear me crying. I felt a bit better and eventually answered about half an hour later, and he was saying how this week of no contact has been like hell for him and that he's depressed and confused. He asked if he could call back in ten mins, it sounded like he was about to cry.

Ten mins later, I answered and his friend was on the phone. I asked if he was okay an his friend said he was and that he was gonna bring him to his. He put my ex back on the phone and he asked me to come to his friends in town to talk. I said no cos I was at home. I said thisprobably wasnt the best time to talk about his and last time we did, we went round in circles.

He told me he tried to drop his phone in a puddle cos he didnt want to ring her. By her, he meant his ex. I asked if he had been talking to her and he said no but that she did this to us and he was angry at her. I told him its not her fault and that he just needs time.

I heard his firend in the background so I said that I should go. I only answered cos I thought he was on his own and that his friend had gone to bed or smething. He told me he wanted me to stay on the phone but I said he'll be okay cos hes got his friend there. I felt like I was about to cry again too. He said he wants to talk and could we meet up and could he talk to me tomorrow. I said yes. I asked him one final time if he was okay and that he sounded better than before, and he said no Im still the same.

The next day, I get a text from him saying 'sorry if I spoke to you a bit angrily last night, didnt mean to' I replied saying he didnt and that I was worried about him and asked if he was feeling a bit better today. He replied saying 'I dont know, and that he is at his friends safe and hungover'. I replied saying okay feel better soon. I havent heard from him since.
I know its stalkerish but he hasnt even been on facebook/twitter or anything and he normally always is. Im a bit worried.

What do you make of all this? And do you think Im over reacting by worrying?
I want to get back with him but I know he'll need some time to figure things out. I know in the mean time I should move on and concentrate on myself and I started to last week but after this weekend, how am I supposed to?

any advice would be great. Sorry for the mega essay

[Lite]

No.

You shouldn't wait on him. Either he loves you and wants to be with you, or he doesn't. There isn't an in-between.

If he comes along when you're still available to date, great, if not you should really just move on. It sounds cute to hold a torch up for someone, but eventually you're just going to end up hurting yourself doing it.

I'm sorry things didn't work out better between you, but really he's blaming her for his problems. He can change his cell number, or tell her not to call, or set her number to not ring his phone. Hell if he has AT&T he can pay for a service that outright blocks certain numbers.

There's a lot he can do to end communication with her, and he hasn't. He's making excuses and not actually doing anything productive about it.

If he can't tell her to FOAD because he's in a relationship, you shouldn't be dating him. You deserve better.

[despicable14]

hmmmm...i agree with mr. lite...it looks like were in the same boat but not exactly the same....but for me, if you really love him then fight for it.....i guess....but its all up to you though to decide those things...hope you will find the answer soon miss pinkinterlude..

[lexigon_5]

He said he can't bear the thought of you being with anyone else, well thats not a good reason for him to want you back, it sounds like he is stringing you along to keep you from other guys while he tries to get his ex back, so that you are there to fall back on just in case he fails to do so. I know many women who have been in this same situation and it rarely turns out well for them.
The problem is that once he makes a statement like that, how are you ever going to be sure that he wants you for you and is not just acting like some dog guarding a piece of meat.
You are a classic victim of another guys ghost from the past, and i suspect if it comes to a choice between you both that the ghost will win. If you were first choice here then you would not be going through any of this.
So ask yourself. Would you rather have a guy who adores you above all others or a guy who settles for you cuz he can't have what he really wants.

hope this helps