Bought porn... feel awful

[quentin]

Hi all,

To cut the story short: I've not been with my girlfriend for too long - just a couple of months. But I really care about her and think we really have the potential for a great relationship.

Anyway, she's gone on holiday for a couple of weeks, so I thought I'd buy a bit of porn to see me through (it's difficult I guess going from regular sex 4-5 times a week for a couple of months to nothing). Thing is, I feel terrible about it - almost as if I've cheated. I'm pretty sure she doesn't have a problem with porn; she's got her own sex toys and I've made jokes about watching it before. But honestly I feel rotten, and without getting too fairytale about it I feel like I've somehow defiled the relationship somewhat.

I don't think talking to her about it and "admitting" it is the right thing to do, as that would potentially cause her unnecessary hurt over something which means nothing and which I presume she knows I do (all guys have a cheeky session every now and then I'm sure). I'm just feeling really bad and wanted to know if I am being stupid? Am I just overreacting? I just really don't want to hurt her.

Anyway, thanks a lot for taking the time to read this and for any advice given.

[vashti]

I thought you were going to say you felt bad because you PAID for it, when you can get it free over the net! haha

Just throw it away, and don't mention it to her. Some women really freak out about this stuff, but I don't think it's a big deal. Certainly, it's not worth making her feel insecure over.

[Petit Papillon]

Hi all,

To cut the story short: I've not been with my girlfriend for too long - just a couple of months. But I really care about her and think we really have the potential for a great relationship.

The end (of the world) is near , lol

I think you're overreacting, but I don't know your girlfriend. Well maybe talk with her a bit and ask if there isn't anyway that you both could have sex more often for the sake of your relationship. Let's not be naive, in normal,regular rlationship - there has to be sex , at least once per week or something . You're together to short to have sex so seldom. That's what you do when you're married 10 years If you love each other, try to work on your relationship a bit more. Good luck

[vashti]

She's away on holiday, papi! Not intentionally depriving him...

[Applesauce]

You should feel bad. You can get porn for free

[Petit Papillon]

She's away on holiday, papi! Not intentionally depriving him...

Oh well... Then you should feel bad! You can get porn for free! What a waste of money...

[BrownDog52469]

No jokes, I promise. Most people have sexual desires. Masturbation is an outlet and although a private affair, there is no reason to feel bad. Porn can be very stimulating. This is natural toos long as it's not interfering with your relationship you are okay. The "guilt" feeling is also natural. It is common for people to feel guilty after self-gratification and also after viewing porn. If you feel better throwing it away, then do it. Just keep in mind that these are all natural feelings and there is nothing wrong with you.

[Raven_Skye]

There's nothing wrong with buying porn, she's away now so you're not doing it to fulfill some desires not met by her. Nothing wrong with bein a sexual person and missing it.. when you talk to her next, make a jest about missing her sexually too and see what she says. But seriously, you felt like buying porn, don't feel guilty right away. You know, this might even be a turn on for her. Seriously, I love it when the guys I am with watch porn and get turned on by it. No joke, it's normal.

[cohen_girl]

There's nothing wrong with you watching porn while you're in a relationship. As long as you don't preferr masturbating to porn more than sex with your girlfriend, I don't think she'd have a problem with it, but there's no need to mention it to her. Us women know that you do it, you don't have to tell us about it. If you really feel as though you're "cheating" on her with porn, do you think you'd be able to get off fantasiziing about her? Or maybe you could call her sometime when she's alone and have phone sex?

[Agape]

I think you're overreacting . . . porn or masturbation or fantasy is completely normal . . . also you went from sex to nothing, so it's understandable - no reason to guilt trip yourself.

[quentin]

Thanks a lot for all the replies (even the jokes!). You've made me feel a lot better about it all.