Significant difference

[cosquin]

Currently my wife and I only have intercourse on weekends. So by Friday I'm actually kind of exploiting. But I have to wait until Saturday night or sometimes until Sunday, depending on the activities we have or her mood.
As a man I feel growing the arousing as the days go by. My wife says that it is not so for her. She states that its arouse depends on other factors but has nothing to do with the time of abstinence.That kinda surprised me, despite I am aware that males and females are wired differently.
So my question is then: is it a general female feature or is it just her?

[basilandthyme]

Agree with your wife. My libido depends on many factors - none of which include the period of abstinence

[michelle23]

Has your sex life always been like this or has it changed over time? If yes, have you also changed over time? Do you still give her the same level of attention, affection, romance and quality time as you did before? Do you help around the house etc? Have you asked her what you can do to help improve her sex drive? Is she willing to try a natural supplemt to increase her drive? Does she masturbate without you? If yes would she consider stopping and saving it for you? You need to communicate, think of possible solutions and look at WHY she may have gone off sex. If shes not willing to work with you to make improvements or changes then youll have to decide whether you want to stay or go. It takes two to make a marriage work, compromise and give and take. Explain that to her.

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[michelle23]

The fact she only wants it at the weekend may mean shes exhausted or stressed. Many women run a home, look after kids, work full time, do all grocery, laundry etc which is like having 3 full time jobs. Try living a week in her shoes and see how horny you are.. many husbands dont realize how much their wife actually does. Maybe she needs a break and some extra help. Ask her what the problem is and really listen to what she says. That thing men call nagging is actually just us being honest. We dont do it coz we enjoy it. Its usually coz we want something to change not accusing you of anything btw- but thats many wives biggest issue. Good luck

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[cosquin]

Has your sex life always been like this or has it changed over time? If yes, have you also changed over time? Do you still give her the same level of attention, affection, romance and quality time as you did before? Do you help around the house etc? Have you asked her what you can do to help improve her sex drive? Is she willing to try a natural supplemt to increase her drive? Does she masturbate without you? If yes would she consider stopping and saving it for you? You need to communicate, think of possible solutions and look at WHY she may have gone off sex. If shes not willing to work with you to make improvements or changes then youll have to decide whether you want to stay or go. It takes two to make a marriage work, compromise and give and take. Explain that to her.

mmm... too many questions and I can't find such easy words in English to answer.
Everybody change through the time, and I understand that after several years of marriage, the passion is not the same.
I help her with the housework and I don't go out alone more than to go to work.
I am always the one who starts 'the game' and as I understand we have to overcome the routine, I took the courage to go to a sex shop and buy a vibrator, lubs... but she just used it 2 or 3 times. If she masturbates or not, I have no idea. She is very closed with their privacy. The only thing that I know is that my sex drive seems to be quite higher than hers. But it was so since the first day of our marriage.

[michelle23]

Are you sure she orgasms during sex? Maybe she fakes it. Many women do and if she doesnt enjoy it, she will want it less. Perhaps seeing a therapist together may help?

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[cosquin]

Are you sure she orgasms during sex? Maybe she fakes it. Many women do and if she doesnt enjoy it, she will want it less. Perhaps seeing a therapist together may help?

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I know that sometimes she has faked the orgasm,although it is not the rule.
We have our good times and we're very fit into each other. Imagine that when you were born we already were married. She is great in everything else and a very good person.
As a matter of fact, the topic has turned into our personal relationship, but the original question was whether libido has to do with the time of aftinence or not at all.

[michelle23]

Sorry i was just suggesting ideas on why she may only want it once a week. All you can do is ask her. Perhaps she will tell you what may boost her libido. Everyone is different and it may be that she has a low sex drive and there is not much you can do about that. You could ask her to compromise by making more time for sex. Tell her you wantbto be closer to her and to connect more

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[cosquin]

You don't need apologise. For the opposite I'm very grateful for your attention and advice.