Messed up big time...what to do now?

[jessie_1991]

Hi,

I have been talking/seeing this girl for around 4 months now. A few days ago I asked her how she thought our "relationship" was progressing and she told me she wants to spend more time getting to know me etc. She then asked me how I felt and I told her that I really liked her and would like to see her again. Since I told her this I have not heard a single thing from her.

Have I messed up by telling her I like her? Should I send her a message or just let her respond in her own time? I actually feel she will not reply and maybe I have scared her off??

[searock]

Lol, I really don't think you have scared a girl off just by telling her that you like her. It's not like you asked her to marry you or something.

What exactly do you mean by "talking/seeing" this girl? Have you gone on actual dates, held hands, etc? Prior to the conversation you reported here, did she even know that you were romantically interested in her?

[jessie_1991]

Lol, I really don't think you have scared a girl off just by telling her that you like her. It's not like you asked her to marry you or something.

What exactly do you mean by "talking/seeing" this girl? Have you gone on actual dates, held hands, etc? Prior to the conversation you reported here, did she even know that you were romantically interested in her?

We have met a couple of times and each date has been around 6 hours. No she did not know that I was romantically interested in her, when I told her I liked her this was the first time that I have told her.

[searock]

How can you have gone on 2 dates without her knowing you were interested in her?! What were the dates like, what did you do? Or were you in a group of friends?

[jessie_1991]

How can you have gone on 2 dates without her knowing you were interested in her?! What were the dates like, what did you do? Or were you in a group of friends?

We just spent most of the time walking around town whilst talking. Just general getting to know each other. The reason I told her I liked her was because I genuinely do and thought it was best to be honest with her.

[searock]

Yeah, telling her was the right thing to do. You just shouldn't have waited 4 friggin' months to let her know.

How did you two meet?

[jessie_1991]

Yeah, telling her was the right thing to do. You just shouldn't have waited 4 friggin' months to let her know.

How did you two meet?

Met through a mutual friend. The reason I did not tell her so overtly was because I thought it would have been implied through still wanting to meet up etc.

Oh well I can't now change the fact that I have told her.

[olb30]

Hi,

I have been talking/seeing this girl for around 4 months now. A few days ago I asked her how she thought our "relationship" was progressing and she told me she wants to spend more time getting to know me etc. She then asked me how I felt and I told her that I really liked her and would like to see her again. Since I told her this I have not heard a single thing from her.

Have I messed up by telling her I like her? Should I send her a message or just let her respond in her own time? I actually feel she will not reply and maybe I have scared her off??

You have NOT messed up big time. Don't panic, don't worry.

You did the right thing by telling her you liked her.
I've learned sometimes being honest and upfront saves you alot of time and often saves you from major dissapointment sometime later on.

99% of the time someone either likes you, or they don't. there's never usually any middle ground.



Generally speaking, if you tell a girl you like her, it will either confirm that she is interested in you, or she isn't.

I think 4 months seeing a girl is a long time without having some sort of mutual understanding of where you two stand on liking each other.




Maybe, just maybe, she saw you two as friends?

I can't say for sure though. If this is the case, you telling her that you like her might have pushed her away a little as it may be awkward for her.

On the other hand, she might just be shy because she may like you too.


My advise is to wait until she contacts you, don't bug her about the matter. If you don't hear anything then you know where you stand.

How long has it been since you told her?

[jessie_1991]

You have NOT messed up big time. Don't panic, don't worry.

You did the right thing by telling her you liked her.
I've learned sometimes being honest and upfront saves you alot of time and often saves you from major dissapointment sometime later on.

99% of the time someone either likes you, or they don't. there's never usually any middle ground.



Generally speaking, if you tell a girl you like her, it will either confirm that she is interested in you, or she isn't.

I think 4 months seeing a girl is a long time without having some sort of mutual understanding of where you two stand on liking each other.




Maybe, just maybe, she saw you two as friends?

I can't say for sure though. If this is the case, you telling her that you like her might have pushed her away a little as it may be awkward for her.

On the other hand, she might just be shy because she may like you too.


My advise is to wait until she contacts you, don't bug her about the matter. If you don't hear anything then you know where you stand.

How long has it been since you told her?

It has only been 3 days but this is the longest that I have not had a reply from her. Kind of glad now I told her because if she thought we were "friends", then it saves me wasting anymore time with her.

[searock]

Kind of glad now I told her because if she thought we were "friends", then it saves me wasting anymore time with her.

Exactly, this is why you should have told her before. I understand that you thought it was implicit, since you went on dates and everything. However, 2 dates in 4 months is very little, and 4 months is an enormous amount of time when it comes to first dates. You should have asked her out explicitly using the word "date", then during the date you should have flirted and shared some light physical contact (even just playful nudges during conversations, gently shifting a strand of hair from her face, etc) and at the end of the night you should have kissed her, even if just on the cheek. Or something similarly explicit, at least. That way, she would have had no doubts as to how you felt about her.

Oh well. Just learn your lesson (i.e. next time you are interested in someone, communicate it to them as soon as possible) and move on.

[jessie_1991]

Still no reply from her. Should I take this as sign to move on?

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Yes.




(10 characters)

[searock]

Yes, it's time to move on. Hope you learned your lesson... don't wait 4 months before telling a girl that you like her.

[jessie_1991]

Yes, it's time to move on. Hope you learned your lesson... don't wait 4 months before telling a girl that you like her.

So I thought I would bite the bullet and just send her a general message asking how she is etc. Got a reply straight away. I feel tho that I am back to square 1 with her. Do you think she would have replied if she was still not interested?

She hardly ever sends me any messages without me initiating it, is this normal? or are some girls just like this?

[confusednow]

If you have scared her off-then it was never meant to be im afraid.