threeway friendship turned the wrong way..
me and my girlfriend have from the beginning of our relationship dreamt of being not monogamous... we tried some screwing around with others, but quickly found that it hurt a little too much, so we decided just to "wait" until we were ready to try again...
which we did.. sort of... we met this really nice girl, who we both like.. we have slept with her two times and we all begame friends quickly... as we are free on the whole kissing and hugging, we all kissed and hugged a lot when we were together, even as "friends"... But the problem is that I fell in love with this girl... Not that I cannot manage to love two people at the same time, so that is not the issue...
As I found out that my feelings were growing, I had to tell my girlfriend.. she was/is not happy... it lead to a lot of talk about the relationship we all shared and the relationship between me and my two loved ones.. which lead to the girl "breaking up" with us, or rather with me...
so, heart broken, over the love that could never have been, I have gone away for a little while to sort out my priorities and my feelings...
my girlfriend says that she would love to not be jealous and be as polyamourous as I am, since she was enjoying the threeway as much as I...
another problem is that when I am sad over my lost love, my girlfriend (understandably) feels hurt, which makes her very distant, which in turn makes me even more distant and hurting over the lost love... it is a hard circle to break... any advice on this??
But seeing as we all enjoy each others company, yes all of us, we do not wish to kill the friendship... so we have decided to cut contact with the girl, and resume it when me and my girlfriend are feeling better...
my question is, how can I handle the pain? how do I look at my girlfriend, when she reminds me of the love I have for her, and the love that I cannot have? I cannot be without my girlfriend, but she hurts to be around?? does anyone have some experiences with these kinds of problems.. ?
Feelings are powerful things - they override our minds and our bodies, as if trying to control us. We are but mere vessels for them to carry out their will.
Your Friend - Bjarke T.