Still in love with my verbally and emotionally abusive ex boyfriend

[Cj0115]

Long story short.. My ex boyfriend and I dated only 10 months and broke up in February. Our relationship was very toxic although there were good times when we were at home with my son...never when we were at bars or out. I would consider him jealous, controlling and opinionated. He would go through my phone and computer. He started getting verbally abusive calling me the "c" word or w*ore. I was always to blame in his eyes and even to this day he says everything was my fault. One time he did throw me to the ground however not sure it was intentional. He has made me feel that I "f'd" everything up. I never cheated although he accused me constantly. I have missed him and not sure if it is the manipulation or what, but I miss him very much which frustrates me because I know he is not good for me. I want to get over him and not sure how I do it. Everytime I speak to him it ends in raging mad texts. I do not want to love him anymore. Any advice? I do not want to beg or plead him.
Any help would be great. Thank you

[LifeInflux]

The reason you miss him, isn't because you actually miss him. You miss him because you're scared of being alone.. perhaps, scared of change in general.

You understand he's bad for you... but he's the easy choice because he's the evil you know. Sometimes it seems much more daunting to find that new person who will treat you well and include your son.


There are things you can do to assist in moving forward. Support groups and therapy are great. There seems to be a stigma about people who go to groups or therapy... but don't take it as a negative factor. People have primarily done the same kind of counseling and group support religiously for years, which is another means of getting support, meeting new people, and putting a positive spin on a negative experience if you happen to be religious. I am not personally, but I'm sure there are other members here who are that would give you better direction there.


Of course, reminding yourself how terrible things were on this very forum can be a great coping mechanism as well, so if it helps at all, pour your heart out. Think about how he treated you.. and think about wanting a person like that around your son. Would you still accept these feelings if your son was physically and verbally harmed by this man?