his intentions?

[needsomehelp123]

I'm usually really good at figuring out men but this one has me confused on his intentions... The problem is that while I know he is interested, I don't know if he's just another guy looking to get layed. I refuse to date him because I'm unsure about him and I think this fuels his interest. Some of the things he says and does make me think he's sincere, but other things show he just wants to get me into bed. Does the fact that a guy is "smooth" mean he can't have genuine feelings for me? I really like this guy.

Jay (we'll call him), is 24 and a bit of a partier who lives in West Hollywood. I met him at a bar when I was talking to his friend that introduced me to Jay. It was immediate sparks, he's dark skin, fit and gorgeous, pretty much physically the man of my dreams. Jay told me he was glad his friend introduced us because he would have never had the confidence to approach a girl that looked like me. He offered to buy me a drink and we talked for quite a while. Later, I joined my girlfriend and some other guys approached us. Jay wandered over and made himself present to signal that I was with him. It was a little forward, but it didn't bother me since I was really into Jay, and not the other guy. Later, my friend and I joined Jay's group again. His friend who introduced us put his arm around me. Jay immmediately pulled him aside to tell him that he was interested in me (in a nonconfrontational way). When we all left the bar he literally swept me up and carried me across the street saying he was going to "buy me pancakes." Our group ate at IHOP, and he fed me my entire meal!

He has asked me out on several occasions since then and I have declined. On Valentine's Day a week later, I went out for drinks with single girlfriends and we stopped for late night food. He texted to ask what I was up to, and before I had a chance to invite them to join us, they beat us to the restaurant we were walking to. It was really sweet that he wanted to see me so badly on Valentine's Day. And he didn't try to put any moves on. He said he was just "excited to see me."

Here are some of the comments he has made (keep in mind there has been alcohol involved)- "I'm mesmerized by you," "we would have beautiful kids" and "you'll never get rid of me." I barely know Jay and if I weren't crazy about him already I'd probably go running in the other direction. Help, I don't want to get hurt!

[mrtdg82]

Woah there slow down....

under normal circumstances i would always queation a guys intentions, purely because i know what we can be like but to be fair you havent even given this guy a chance yet. From what you have said you have no reason to doubt this guy yet (without considering what youve had happen in the past). Give him a chance, you like him, he likes you. You dont have to jump into bed with him straight away just take it slow and get to know him a little. Thats the fun part.

If you treat every guy with that kind of mentality then you are never going to find someone. Lifes full of risks but sometimes they pull off.

[lastwish]

Being a smooth talker doesn't mean he is a player. It just means he knows how to be romantic to women. You need time to figure a person out. If you like him, give him a chance but don't give out your heart too soon.

[needsomehelp123]

Thanks a lot. It's intimidating because he works in the entertainment industry so I'm sure he's around beautiful women all day long. I'm just really worried I'll get hurt, but I'll give it a shot. Guess it's not that fair to him not to.

[girl68]

We can't tell his intentions! Nothing in that post makes me think he just wants to get laid. You're going to give me a lot more booty call clues to get me to assume that.

So give him a chance. Don't get too physical too fast and give him a chance.

[dewilliams2]

Yea give it a shot...maybe he just really likes you and has some trouble containing his thoughts about you.