not happily married

[lost_gurl]

I married my husband very young, right when I was out of high school. We've been married for 8 years and have two boys. Somewhere along the way I fell out of love with him. I believe it's because I've grown into a woman and see life differently than when I was a girl and the love I had for him was puppy love. He was my first love. He's a great man and his family is very supportive and loves me a lot. But I'm just not in love with him anymore. I think of him more of a great friend and a family member than an intimate partner. I really don't have anything against him, just that I don't want to keep lying and pretending everything is fine. It's hard to kiss and have sex with someone you don't have feelings for. I also don't want him wasting time on me when he can find someone who will love him whole heartedly. My question is should I tell him and leave to find what I want in life or continue on living a lie for the sake of my kids and everyone else?

[Wakeup]

I married my husband very young, right when I was out of high school. We've been married for 8 years and have two boys. Somewhere along the way I fell out of love with him. I believe it's because I've grown into a woman and see life differently than when I was a girl and the love I had for him was puppy love. He was my first love. He's a great man and his family is very supportive and loves me a lot. But I'm just not in love with him anymore. I think of him more of a great friend and a family member than an intimate partner. I really don't have anything against him, just that I don't want to keep lying and pretending everything is fine. It's hard to kiss and have sex with someone you don't have feelings for. I also don't want him wasting time on me when he can find someone who will love him whole heartedly. My question is should I tell him and leave to find what I want in life or continue on living a lie for the sake of my kids and everyone else?

Does the poor sap know how you're feeling, have you actually talked to him and given him a chance to try and redeem himself and re-kindle the relationship or are you just going to spring it on his unknowing self when you're walking out the door with your two son's in tow, suitcases packed and a written request for child support?

What, or would who be more accurate, has caused you to emotionally check out, lost_gurl?

[lost_gurl]

I've tried talking to him but he always takes it as a joke and tells me I'm crazy. We had some rough first years of marriage and our views of things aren' the same. Just little problems over the years piling up that took my feelings away. Sometimes he gets sad when i tell him how i feel and it's not even half of what i wanted to tell him. I am scared i will break him because he says his feelings nevet changed.

[pisces25]

Try marriage counselling before you make the final decision.

[thiudiskr]

Stay together because of your kids.

[surfhb]

Stay together because of your kids.

Coming from a parent, thats about the shittiest advise Ive heard on these boards in awhile.

[HeartIsAching]

Stay together because of your kids.

Bad idea.

Believe me, I've tried it both ways, and while neither is a good option, staying together for the kids is the worse choice.

[HeartIsAching]

I've tried talking to him but he always takes it as a joke and tells me I'm crazy. We had some rough first years of marriage and our views of things aren' the same. Just little problems over the years piling up that took my feelings away. Sometimes he gets sad when i tell him how i feel and it's not even half of what i wanted to tell him. I am scared i will break him because he says his feelings nevet changed.

All of this is manipulative behavior. He's refusing to see it as serious to keep you from bringing it up. When you insist on bringing it up, he tells you that you're the crazy one and it's all your fault. When that fails, he falls back on guilt to keep you from doing what needs done.

You might try couples/marriage counseling, but I'm guessing you're not interested in fixing it.

[Mish]

I also don't want him wasting time on me when he can find someone who will love him whole heartedly. My question is should I tell him and leave to find what I want in life or continue on living a lie for the sake of my kids and everyone else?

I think in your mind you've already left this relationship, so no amount of advice will likely convince you otherwise. In the end you are the one who knows best what's right for you. Just remember that life of a single parent is also not so rosy.

[haxan]

The 7 year itch. Be careful what you ask for !

[lisapenn]

It's one of the most difficult questions out there, and many women are asking themselves this question. But, usually these women are abused, verbally oy physically, or fight woth their spouse all the time. It sounds like your marriage is good, but you miss feeling in love. That's a common question. I think if I were you I would make sure I really don't love my husband anymore, before I decise to leave. Sometimes you think you're not in love anymore, but when he leaves the truth comes out and you may regret what you did. So, how about you really wxplore your feelings and try to love him again? It's not simple, I think this article will help you: [url]http://www.how-to-save-marriage.org/how-to-love-your-husband/[/url]