Happily Married - Why am I excited about this?

[rezachi]

Hey all, first post and really I just need to vent. I enjoy writing, so if this is too long I’m sorry.

I’m married to my wife for almost 2 years, and we have been together for almost 5 years. I was always kind of a nerdy/shy guy in high school, so I always seemed to be in the friend zone and did not date a lot in high school. After high school and growing up, a lot of my friends either moved away or changed enough that I do not really want to hang out with them anymore, so I’m a bit of a social loner. I used that to focus more on my career, and as a result I have a pretty good job and the means to live a decent lifestyle without worrying about money all the time. I don’t have a whole lot of friends that I keep up with, so I’m a pretty boring guy from a relationship standpoint. I’ve never even considered being with another girl, as I am very happy with my wife; although she is convinced that she is enough of a pain in the butt that she will drive me away someday. We have to talk about it every few months since she is also easily irritated and something little will lead to her asking why we are even together; but she is getting better at realizing that she overreacts easily and that I am not trying to annoy her all of the time. Overall I’d say a pretty healthy and stress-free relationship for both of us, and I’d like to think we are both happy with it.

However, something happened last week that took me by surprise. We went to stay the night at a resort about 4 hours from our home, just to get away. When we were looking for something for dinner nearby; one of the brochures in our packet of stuff from the resort said to stop at the information desk for a coupon book for nearby attractions. My wife sent me down to get one, since the room was like ½ mile away from the information desk and I was just going to walk rather than fight the parking lot. When I got there, the lady (who I could not describe, as I did not really even look at her) flipped through the book, circling things and crossing things off while explaining some of the coupons. It was noisy because of all of the people nearby, so I struggled to hear, but tried my best to listen to what she was saying. She asked a few innocent sounding questions like how old are you and your wife (25), are you old enough to drink (redundant b/c of question 1), are your rings titanium, I love titanium rings, can I see them (weird, but ok, no they are not), and then proceeded to scribble all over a page on the book for a hotel stay nearby, explaining that we needed to be 26 and married to be eligible for it (um..., whatever, we’re here for one night anyways). She kept scribbling on the page, and I was paying less and less attention since it was difficult to hear and really I just wanted the book so my wife and I could get some dinner.
I start walking back to the room and was curious about the having to be 26 for a promotional rate thing, so I started flipping through the book trying to find what she was talking about. When I finally found the page, I saw that what I thought was scribbling was that she had scribbled her name and number on the page. Of course, I can’t throw it away because this booklet is the exact thing my wife sent me down there for, so I get back to the room and explain that I have no idea what happened because I was having trouble hearing, but I somehow have the front desk girl’s number. After a few minutes of my wife being in her best “that bitch!” mode, she realizes that I’m really not interested in random front desk girl, and we proceed to have a really awesome rest of the vacation.

The problem I'm having, though, is that I can’t help but be interested in the fact that she gave me her number. Is it because I was a nerd and never had anything like this happen to me before that it feels like a big deal even though I know it isn't? Did not really caring what she was saying and mentioning my wife a few times somehow give her the idea that I was interested? I really feel like her giving me her number kind of symbolizes that I’m not the nerdy reject I used to be, and somewhere along the line I became confident and at least somewhat good looking. I can’t talk to my wife about it, since her line of thought is “I can’t take you anywhere without people hitting on you!” (this comes from if we go to any event there is always at least one girl who I used to talk to that wants to come up and hug me before even saying hi to my wife) I know I cannot actually call her, so I really want to talk to someone about why I'm so excited over this.

[Am I crazy?]

You have every justifiable right to be happy. Its nice to get confirmation every now and again that other women find you attractive. Or, it could just be that she gave you the front desk phone number and her name as part of her customer service duties should you have any questions and you are completely misreading the situation. Either way, you got a reaction out of your woman and its good for a woman to think there is a little competition.

[michelle23]

She probably gave you her name and number encase you need help with anything else and you and your wife got the wrong idea. Id say you are probably insecure coz you never felt good enough so any kind of attention gives you a little ego boost. You should forget it. Your married, you love your wife and you say you are happy. You will probably get hit on a few times over the next 20 or 30 years. Im in a five year relationship and ive been asked out a thousand times but I love my man and my grass is green enough where I am.

You should be confident enough to know you made the right choice being with your wife and she is all you need. Let the attention boost your confidence a little but dont let it go to your head and dont start thinking is the grass greener coz it rarely ever is.

It sounds like you and your wife do have some trust issues and insecurities. Perhaps marriage counselling would help you both to overcome that so she stops feeling threatened by every woman who even looks at you and you stop feeling sorry for yourself that you didnt get the attention you craved as a teen.

Its a good thing, you worked hard, got a great career, good income, comfortable lifestyle, lovely wife and a great future ahead of you. You should be happy that your past led you to this great present and future with the woman you love.