What am I doing wrong?

[A_Great_Idea]

I’m 19, not very tall (just about 5 ft) and average looking and I've never had a boyfriend. The closest I've come is kissing this guy in a club, which I felt bad about afterwards cos I didn't actually fancy him.

When I go out to clubs and bars only get hit on by sleazy middle aged men that really creep me out. I don't know why, I dress like every girl on a night out. It really puts me off going out.

Most of the guys my age just seem to ignore me. I don't really like flirting if I don't like the person in that way. I think it's mean to lead someone on if your just going to drop them for someone else.

I try to be nice, polite and listen to what the other person is saying. I'd like to think I'm a nice person so what am I doing wrong?

Some nice advice would be much appreciated

[Vain]

Clubs are generally a place for random hook ups and such. It seems like you want something more serious then that. I do not think your necessarily doing anything wrong but rather just in the wrong place to look for what you want. Correct me if I am wrong but that is the notion I'm getting.

[OneLove007]

I think maybe you need to loosen up a bit and put yourself out there more. You can flirt without making someone think you want to be with them. Flirting is harmless and one of the many traits we have to get to know people of the opposite sex. I think the only problem from what you have said is that you're a bit shy and need some motivation! Also try going to a new club! Do you go to clubs alone or with a group of friends? Try bringing a group and it might be easier to mingle.

[Junket]

Here's something.

Clubs and bars are bad places to meet men.

Secondly, you remind me a bit of my girlfriend. She's a bit stand offish in public settings, so younger guys don't usually bother with her, but to older men, she looks like a vulnerable little girl who never got enough attention from daddy. So she's hit on pretty frequently by way-too-old men.

Change your setting.

Try to meet guys at a library, or volunteer events. Look to see if anybody on craigslist have any pick up games or events that you could attend that might have a more fun younger crowd.

I found a frisbee group on there not too long ago, and I've met several quality girls my age who I would consider asking out were I not already hitched.

[Mish]

Most of the guys my age just seem to ignore me. I don't really like flirting if I don't like the person in that way. I think it's mean to lead someone on if your just going to drop them for someone else.

Though, this is probably the best place to start. So every single guy your age ignores you, huh? How does that work? You come up to them, smile, say hello, ask them about their day and they just shrug and walk away? I highly doubt this is what happens. What are you doing to make them notice you is the first question the answer to which I would like to know?

[bluesummer]

Unless you're hammered or dressed like a whore or completely knock-out gorgeous, guys in bars generally won't talk to you. Basically, they're a bad place to meet anyone of quality.

I've met guys online, at work, or engaging in activities I like. It gives you more of a chance to talk to them and be social.

[greeneyedgrl]

I'm in a similar situations but I do agree bars and clubs aren't the best place for guys. If you go to school see if you can go to school functions or try to go out to different things and meet different people. You just have to feel confident and I agree flirt a little and if it doesn't work out just think it as a learning experience and just move forward. Just think if they aren't interested in you just think it as a blessing in disguise(don't want to be wasting your time on someone that isnt interested in you) Hope that helps!

[BlackWater]

Try going to clubs with a group of friends your age, maybe that could help a bit.