HI everyone I have been dating a guy for a little over two months. We see each other about once every week because we live about an hour away from each other, and he has been very busy with work (he is getting his PhD). However, we talk on Skype/phone most nights. Soon, I will be in college again, and I will be about 3 hours away from him; I don't really know how often we will get to see each other.
Anyway, my boyfriend is not a virgin, but I am. However, whenever he tries to do more than what I am comfortable with, I freeze. I have moved extremely, extremely slow in past relationships. No one has ever touched my chest under the bra before. I know that he is frustrated because he wants to do more, but I am not ready for it.
I've felt very conflicted about this, because I'm starting to feel a little pressured. He usually backs off if I tell him I'm not okay with something, and he usually asks "Are you okay with this?" before doing it. But sometimes he will try to convince me to let him feel me up or something along those lines, but that just makes me want to back off more when he tells me "Come on..."
I feel frustrated because I have known this person for a relatively short period of time, and we are still in the process of establishing emotional intimacy. I don't want to wait for marriage, but I do want to wait until I feel comfortable with the person, and I probably wouldn't even consider sex before a year of dating. But that might change...I'm not really sure. And now I feel like there is something wrong with me for not being open to even let my boyfriend touch my chest....I feel like a little girl even though I'm 20 years old.
And my boyfriend is really sweet....he has done a lot of thoughtful things for me and has opened up emotionally to me. However, he has admitted that it is difficult for him to verbally express his emotions, but he shows his affection in other ways. But lately I notice him getting bored, and I wonder if it is because of the lack of physical intimacy. He has told me that he is unhappy about the lack of physical intimacy in our relationship, but that he is NOT unhappy in the relationship. I feel bad that he is unhappy, but I don't want to force myself to be ready either.
And I don't know if he is just horny or if it is really something more. I don't know if guys connect emotionally with girls during and after sex the same way that girl connect with guys.
So what do you think I should do regarding our different views on physical intimacy? Thanks!