Is it too soon to ask her to be my girlfriend or not?

[bzander034]

To all,
I am a college student and I met a wonderful girl at a football game about 3 weeks ago. We have gone on at least 3 dates for dinner. I try to go see her at least every other day whenever she's available, just to hang out and chat. We have kissed and held hands through our last couple dates. We have even had sex on my birthday a couple days ago. I want to ask her to be my girlfriend but I don't know if our relationship is ready for it yet. I feel it is but I'm afraid of rejection and I don't want that to sever our relationship. All who can help, please help me.

BA

[happyhippo85]

hmm i am a little conservative here so let me ask you.. why do u feel it may be too soon when you have already had sex?

as in .. sex usually comes after being ready..

how does she feels about you 2 ?

[bzander034]

Yes, I don't know why I feel that it's too soon even with that major step passed. I think I have the mindset that sex is not as big a deal in a relationship now than it was many years ago. Sometimes, I feel that people take it with a grain of sand, but I have not been in many relationships before so I really don't know how people take it.
I asked her how she felt around a week ago and she smiled and said, "I like you". Nothing more. I don't want to keep on pushing her by asking, though.

[girl68]

If she likes you and slept with you, I would say she'd be open to you asking her to be your gf.

[bzander034]

Don't get me wrong, I think it's time to ask her to be my girlfriend. I just don't know if she's ready for that or not. I know I should not be afraid of rejection but sometimes you have to take chances for the best things in life, right?

[girl68]

No, never ever take a chance in your life because you're afraid.

Tip: that was sarcastic.

[bzander034]

Haha alright. I feel that things won't be the same if I ask her now and she doesn't say yes. I just want to ask her at the right time. By the way, is there a certain setting where and when I can ask her or is anywhere at a given time suitable?

[girl68]

I'm not going to get your hopes up she could very well say no. If she does things will NOT be the same. But that's the chance you have to take. If she likes you then I don't see why she would say no unless she has issues. Recent ex bf per se.

Just ask her when you're alone and having a a good time together. Grab her hand and either tell her you want her to be your girlfriend or ask her if she'd like to be yours.

Goodluck.

[RonHH]

Sounds like she is already, don't push it, enjoy it
Let things happen. You never know she may ask you !!!

[bzander034]

Thanks for your advice. There's one more thing: I've heard that the rule of thumb of asking a girl to be your girlfriend is a couple months. I don't believe in that, though, as people are different. Do you think the 3 weeks I've spent with her is enough?

[girl68]

My boyfriend asked me out in 3 weeks. Kiss that rule of thumbs ass and ask.


We can't tell you if it's enough. If you want to ask, you ask.

[happyhippo85]

well.. i feel there is really no "usual" time to ask for gf, if 2 of u are ready it should be natural.. besides you can always talk to her about this and seek her opinion.. no need to be shy etc..

most important i feel is that you should always make the best out of a relationship.. there is no room for a " just for fun only" relationship imho.