I really need some advice
First of all sorry for my english...
I'm 23 yo guy, I'm pretty much successful in anything I do.. I'm good looking and trying to be polite and charming most of the time..
I was never a guy for serious relationships, and never had one...Even though I've had tons of opportunities I was only with a few girls I physically liked and nothing more..
I was always very picky because I find most of the people annoying and stupid..
One day I was barbecuing with my friends and one of the guys I don't know very well called some girls which were friends of his girlfriend...
I haven't spend much time talking with this girls but I saw all of my friends were amazed with one of them.. Since I was and still am in weird period of my life I decided
to have this girl just to prove to myself and everyone else that I'm the best... Little by little we started dating..I was still with her just because everyone else thought
she's great.. I saw she's in love with me very much after very short period of time.. But also everything with her works so great, we are pretty much spending 24h per day
together and we are never bored... She's also very honest with me, she doesn't even matter if im invading her privacy.. Sex is also really good.. And now, 4 months later
I know she loves me very much.. But the problem is that I think I love her even more.. It feels like she's everything to me...
So what is the problem? Well, I've never had an opportunity for not knowing anything about her past.. Even before we officialy started to date I already knew about one of
her ex boyfriends.. I know him personaly and he's not a great guy, but he's ok and I didn't mind that.. I knew they were together for 3 years.. and since she was 19 when
she started dating him I asumed there were not plenty of guys before him.. Then she told me about one guy who she was with and he did her some really really bad things..
I wanted to find that guy and "talk" to him but she didn't want to tell me his name (because she knows how explosive can I get).. I was still ok with that.. Than without any reason
one of her friends told me stuff about her past which made me sick.. she was doing some stuff I really don't like.. and after that the same girl told me she started having sex
when she was like 13 years old... After that I found out that at the time she was always hanging out with guys much older than she was.. So guess this older guys ****ed here
when she was ****ing 13 years old.. The worst thing is that I found out who this guys are and I know them, and they are really everything I despise.. Once I wanted to talk
to her about that but she started crying like hell and she was crying all night.. and everything she was saying is "please don't leave me"..
I am very coldblooded person but this stuff are breaking my heart and are making me physicaly ill..
Also I'm pretty sure there were few other guys with her... I was never bothered with this stuff before in my life because I guess I wass never in love before..
I love her more and more every day and this is bothering more and more every day... I can't stop thinking about this and I think I'll snap some day soon.. And I'm not a person to
be around when it happens...
Next week we are going on holiday together (just 2 of us) and I really don't know what to do... I am not usually a person who is asking for advice, but I'm completely clueless atm.
I feel angry and sad..
What I am going to is talk to her about that, and she is not going to avoid it (she told me that)...
But what if the complete truth is even worse than things in my head are... I wont be able to live with that.. But also I don't think I'm able to leave her..
Im really really pissed and don't know what to do...