Did I over-react or is he a jerk?

[Rubine]

Hello first time I post here and this is about my new relationship of 5 months. And right now I'm not in a happy place.

I'm 30, he's 38. It's kinda longdistance. He lives about 3 hours driving from my hometown. It's up to me to make the drive to him because he has horses (horsefarm) to take care of. Since we have been together he did come twice to me. But for the rest I went his way every weekend. Yes that's unbalanced but well he compensated with great attention that assured me he was all into me. Overtime it became less though so that also makes me a bit insecure...

A few weeks ago he told me about this girl (age 20) he has a special connection with, some kind of spark but assured me he was never interested in dating/ getting involved with her. Just very nice company to talk with. It bothered me a little but just took it for information.

This past weekend, after whole day of working, I felt a bit of cold and was not sure if I would come over because that weekend was filled with party's of his friends and neighbours. But then we agreed I should just come and see how I felt. I made the drive and I got there at 9 p.m.
Right away we had to leave for this neigborhood-party. He realy wanted me to join.

When we got there he mingled with people right-away and I found some people I know and I joined them. We never realy engage together during parties. It bothers me a little because I come for him and most of the time I'm there there are parties to go to. But I just accepted this.

But this night he talked most of his time with this 20-year old girl. He never introcuded her to me that night. I never felt so ignored, I do have to say that this girl followed him the whole time and they were sometimes chatting in a group. I just couldn't help feeling upset. Because they showed cleary how they liked eachothers company. Only once my bf came up to me to ask me something to drink but that was at a moment that this girl went to the bathroom for a moment.
Moments later they were chatting together again.

And then after three hours watching this setting, realy trying to socialize with the people there. I went up to him and said I wanted to go home. He gave me his keys. Normally I would be okay with him giving me the keys but now I said I would realy appreciate he would go with me as well. He did and at home I told my thoughts about the whole evening and now we have a 'fight' and he kinda blames me of being jealous.

What do you think about this?

[IndiReloaded]

He's likely attracted to her but knows the age difference is just too big.

That 'special spark' thing is BS, tho. He's not being honest with you about her.

I'd need to know more about their relationship, but offhand, I'd say you have some cause to be worried. Without knowing more, not much more to say right now.

[starbuck]

There seems to be a number of concerning things about your relationship from what you posted.

First of all, you're doing way too much of the work in this relationship and making alot of excuses for him. So he has horses to take care of? That doesn't mean that he's incapable of driving down to see you more often. I'm aware that horses are most likely alot of work, but you know what? That's not really your problem. He could find someone to help him shovel shit and meet you halfway.

Also the fact that you "never engage" at parties. Why? If my boyfriend and I were at a party together, chances are he'd be right by my side at least 3/4 of the time.

Also, you drive 3 hours to see him and he talks to another girl all night? No offense but your bf sounds like asshole and the whole relationship sounds like a big drag. As I said before you're doing WAY too much work to make this relationship happen. You seem to feel like he's compensating by giving you attention. Well, he should be giving you attention REGARDLESS.

I've been there done that with a lopsided relationship like this. It's exhausting. However much you like this guy, he needs to do more work to meet you halfway. I'm worried about your future with this guy. I think you deserve better than this kind of situation quite frankly.

How happy can you possibly be with this situation?

[Gigabitch]

Regardless of his "no intention" statement, the guy is going to be porking the 20-year-old as soon as he can.

Run.

[Indignant]

what was he not pleased with? did anything happen before you came to provoke such behaviour? come on girls, give this guy a break until we get all the details.