Thanks everyone for reading this...here is my story:

I've been dating a woman for about a year and a half. The first couple months were great, we spent a lot of time together, had tons of fun. As time wore on and the holidays came around she got busy with projects and we spent less time together (although we did spend the holidays with each others families) but I figured once that was past we'd be back on track.

After the holidays we went on vacation together and had a great time but shortly thereafter there was a family crisis and she became involved with that to the point were I barely saw or heard from her. After a few weeks I said enough was enough that if she wanted to stay together she would either need to let me into her life and accept that I'm there for the good and the bad or we'd have to go our seperate ways. She said that in the past she learned to rely on herself on not count others so she didn't want to ask for my help and get me involved, but she would make an effort to accept my help and be more open to me. Things got better, she brought me into the picture and I was able to give her moral support and help her deal with the issue over the next couple months.

Once that was over I thought finally we could move on, get back to having a "normal" relationship. Not so. Shortly thereafter she was diagnosed with a long term illness which pretty much sapped the strength from her. Most days she could barely get out of bed. Again, I stood by her all the way, she gladly accepted my support and help. She met with a barrage of doctors who put her on the right track to be able to manage her illness and have more good days than bad. So our time together was now limited to maybe 1-2 days a week at best and involved just quiet nights at home, going out to dinner, etc (no trips, no spending nights together).

Then came other issues at work and personal life that stressed her out and threw things out of whack for her and again limited our time together. But finally it seemed everything was back under control for her and she said she was looking to be able to spend more time together. Unfortunately, her illness keeps rearing its ugly head and now she has taken on a second job to help out with holiday expenses...and speaking of holidays, we're back to where things started going downhill last year, although this year due to circumstances we won't be spending the holidays together.

In the past 2 weeks, I've seen her a total of 3 hours, although she texts me good morning every day and she calls me and we talk on the phone for about an hour a day. Honestly, its not enough for me, communicating like this is understandable during bad times or certain conditions, but not as a regular way of having a relationship. I've expressed my concerns to her but she says she's doing the best she can...especially when she is in such discomfort and so exhausted that she goes to bed by 7pm each night. I've tried to be patient, supportive and understanding but I'm just running out of steam here. And sadly, I don't see her making much of an effort to squeeze time in for us...I'm frustrated and she knows it.

Overall she is a very independant person and for various reasons has come to rely on herself to take care of things. I think she has really stepped out of her comfort zone to include me and rely on me in the ways she has, and I haven't disappointed her in the least. Our friends (hers and mine) have all said she is taking me for granted and is not given nearly as much as she has gotten....and yes, to a certain degree I can agree with that. Ultimately, I can't see where this relationship is heading. She doesn't want to talk about moving in together (and will give a variety of excuses as to why it should be put off for a while) and despite the lack of intimacy and time together she says her feelings for me are strong and she apologizes for a rough year and not physically feeling up to being everything a good girlfriend should be.

So, am I kidding myself in thinking this relationship will work? Honestly, I'm not happy and I keep telling myself...once this gets straightened out we'll get back on track....but it just seems when one bit of drama wraps up, another begins...there always seems to be an excuse as to why we can't get back on track. People tell me to give her an ultimatum or move on. I keep thinking if she were my wife and she was this ill would I tell her to find a cure/get over it or I'll divorce you? No. So why should this be any different? I keep thinking, what kind of person does that make me to walk out of a relationship because someone can't find the energy to meet my expectations? Or am I just giving it another excuse?

I just don't know what to do. Every time in the past I've confronted her on my frustrations we talked it out and I felt foolish like I wasn't thinking clearly, jumping the gun. At those times I tell myself, this is the way its going to be, if you love her (which I do) give her the time she needs and don't pressure her or make her feel bad for things she has little control over.

Anyway....your thoughts?