Figuring Out The Perfect Moment And Idea For Contact

[rctk]

Here's my story, I will attempt to keep it brief. While a lot of relationships are called off due to something so damning that it can't be taken back or wiped away, I feel as though mine was called off by something that is common, and can be worked on. Communication habits. I was in a 3-year relationship with the love of my life and she suddenly broke it up last week. We spent hours over the course of two nights speaking and it felt as though I couldn't get through to her to make her understand that this is something that we can work on if we focus on it and talk about what we each need from our communications. She has a habit of letting things build up inside and not communicating them to me and I have very similar habits, so we need to work on these things. The biggest issue is that this is something we talked about early on in the relationship and because we focused on bettering other aspects of us, we didn't put nearly enough time and effort into doing this with each other. She now feels that since we've been together for three years and that we had talked about the issue so long ago, that good communication should be something that we should have, and I agree, but I want to work on it now while she seems to think its hopeless. The situation is incredibly frustrating to me because I don't see how it's possible that you can give up on something like this without at least saying we're going to work on it and see if we can be better at it. I even outlined a plan to her on how we could do things to start a slow progression towards ultimate communication. We have intense love, desire to be with each other, full trust and respect for one another and if you asked me 10 days ago, I would've said we would eventually be married. It was completely out of the blue.

Enough of my ramble. The point of this post was more to ask from others at what point, and how, should I contact her? She means way too much to me for me to just let it go and we both invested so much that I think it's worth trying, we love each other an extraordinary amount. It's been exactly one week and I'm starting to get the feeling that I need to make contact sooner than later. I've given her adequate time to think about it, talk about it and get a feel for what she wants but I feel like if I wait much longer, it will become the opposite effect and she will slowly begin to move on. Texting seems too impersonal to me. I also don't know if I think calling her would be appropriate. I've thought about sending her a hand-written letter or email explaining what I've thought about for the past week and what I think and expressing my feelings for her. Or the alternate idea of sending an email with a friendly tone and maybe just asking if she wants to talk. I feel as though I truly have one good shot to give and I want it to be perfect because she means so much to me and I don't want her to throw this away and realize it was a mistake later on. If anyone has had some experience with this, I'd like to hear about what you did, what the reaction was and what you would do differently. I'd love to hear from someone who was able to get through to their ex and they ended up working out. Thanks.

[basilandthyme]

Sorry, I've never gone back to an ex no matter what plans and promises they've made. And I've never regretted my decisions.

I'm sure this breakup wasn't really out of the blue. How could you not realise that after three years of poor communication that your relationship was very much in jeopardy?
Fact of the matter is that she probably moved on while she was with you. By the time she ended it, she would have given it a lot of thought and been sure about her choice.

My advice is to respect her choice to end it. And learn from it. There will be more relationships and new love for you and you'll be wiser going into them.