At a complete loss...

[BackToSqaureOne]

Ok, so I'll try to tell my story as best as I can in hopes that I can get some clarification on this situation.

About four months ago my wife of 3 years and I decided that our relationship (after much work) wasn't going the direction that we wanted it to go. So we decided to split up. Now this was a very hard thing for me to do. It wasn't what I wanted but there was no way around it. I had been unhappy for about two of those years and the love that there was just died off. Closure for me had come and gone long before the split. I did what I had to and continued on with my life as normally as I could. At about the same time I had a friend who was going through the same situation. Since I was a few steps ahead of her she looked to me for advice on how to go about things and how to cope with the feelings. We spent a lot of time talking, consoling, and venting to each other. We gradually found out that we were splitting for the same reasons and that our situations were virtual mirrors of each other. Yes, I know... trouble in the making. We were starting to realize that there was an insane chemistry between us. The last thing that I wanted coming out of a long term relationship was another relationship. But this woman totally slipped in under the radar. We both finalized our divorces and spent a lot of our free time together. The feelings between us continued to grow at a quickening rate. This continued and we got along so well that we decided (on necessity) that we would get a place together. We decided that we should each have our own bedroom for privacy and retreat if needed. She moved her stuff in and the following week I moved my stuff in. Things were awesome... for about two weeks. I was at work one day and she called wanting to talk about us. She said that she didn't feel like she was what I wanted because she was an emotional mess and that is one of the reasons I left my ex. It was her idea to take a break, to take a step back and start back at square one. And in the time that we were to rebuild our relationship she would pull her life together to be the woman that I needed. It was also her idea (during our phone conversation) that we shouldn't give up the physical side of our relationship. In her words we should be roommates with benefits. Ok, I said to myself, this is really weird... kinda hurts my feelings a bit but ok. But what guy wouldn't turn down a "benefits" situation... So this was good for about another week and now she says that she feels like I hate her and that she can't live with someone who is mean to her every day. My thoughts were ???????? what have I done to her? We were fine two weeks ago and now this. I am totally confused. As I type this right now she is having a packing party with her friends and will not accept any help from me. So what do I do? Look for answers... My theory is that I was used and abused for my kindness from the start. I was a means to her end. Rebound guy and all that... But she is acting like the victim while I feel like a complete sucker. If any of you can offer any insight on the situation I would greatly appreciate it. Thank you...

[shh!]

Insight? I think the reality of the situation set in once you guys moved in together, that's all. I suggest you think things through next time. You shouldn't be jumping from one woman to another - it's just asking for trouble.

[BackToSqaureOne]

Thank you and you're right. I'll definitely be spending some "me" time for a while...