To make a very long story short - I've been seeing a man long distance now for nearly 3 years. We met in Cancun, he was there alone. We've been on numerous trips together all over the place, Mexico again, the Bahamas, Phoenix, he's been to visit me 4 times (a 3,000 mile journey), etc. We've carried on over the phone, etc. Then in May of this year I went to New York - he lives in New Jersey. He came to meet me there and the whole time we were together he had excuse after excuse for not taking me out to see his home, show me his office, his "life" etc. On the way home I decided there was only ONE reason for that and low and behold, there was. He's married. He got married 5 months after we met in Cancun so he was probably engaged at the time... I knew he was divorced and had three kids but he never once mentioned this other marriage, nor did he ever slip! (Remarkable really).
I confronted him by phone and he didn't deny it but went into the usual repertoire of "it's not what you think, I pretty much live in the basement, we aren't a normal couple, it's more of a business relationship than anything..." yadda, yadda, yadda...
But now - after nearly three years of, obviously, very blatent and practiced lying I don't know what to believe...
He wants to continue the relationship exactly the way it always has been (!!) and I told him I needed time to think about things. I've come to the conclusion that I'm no longer interested in maintaining a relationship with him - of any sort.
Sooooooo... my dilemna is (somewhat moral). Do I contact "the wife" and let her know? No doubt he has told numerous lies to her (business trips, etc.)
Most women I have talked to said they'd want to know.
Men tend to go the other way.
OPINIONS PLEASE!!!
Also, if I was to tell her should it be a face-to-face, an anonymous letter in the mail... what would be less painful for her? I think if I did something it would be important to include some hard-fast evidence because I know now that if I don't he'll only lie his way out of it again.
Thanks everyone!