I got together with a gorgeous girl 2 years ago. Both of us had previous lives, both married. We've been together through thick and thin whilst both our lives have evolved. It's not been easy, both of us going through divorces for a start (hers done my still on-going)I love her truly, so much so I moved across the country to be with her.

Anyway the relationship has turned sour, not because of anything I've done but because of a whole load of issues caused by others indirectly.

I have 3 adult children and she has 1 7 year old. She knew this when we got together. When the kids found out about her they weren't happy, why? Because I hadn't told them for almost a year and secondly because their bitter mother set out on a mission to destroy our relationship and poisoned their heads telling them that I didn't care about them and this new woman was some evil person who was trying to take me away from them!!

Anyway, things were said, posted etc.. some not very nice. I guess it was kinda of expected but still upsetting. Sadly where as a parent will over time find away to move on because they love their kids even if they don't like what they do sometimes, my new partner can't move on, she can not forgive and can not drop what happened...

Secondly my ex waged a 2 year campaign turning my kids against us, my family, making up storied left right and centre to try and make it seem she was so hard done by and I was living it up when in fact I was an emotional wreck! My new partner was the target for lots of the rhetoric and she grew to hate my stbx.. so much so that the hatred of her spread out to anything that I have in common with the stbx, including my kids. She made it clear she did not want a relationship with them.

Then to add to this, 2 of my kids then had their own, making me a grandfather at 42. Something I didn't ask for nor did I expect for many years. I hardly see them and infact I've never seen one of them at all because of the relationship issues with my daughter. My new partner lost it and this became another issue. "grandchildren that you share with her".. etc.. My new partner felt that she'd missed out on something with me and even though I'd never ruled out having a child in the future with the new partner she became obsessed with this hatred for them seeing them as a threat to our relationship and for some reason seeing them as taking me away from her!! WHAT!


Anyway, the situation got to a point where she was asking me to make a choice, her or my kids and their families. She felt that to be with her I couldn't have a relationship of any kind with them, even if that was only seeing them a few times a year. She thought that meant she didn't come first! She thought that because my daughter and her don't talk at the moment that I also should not talk to her at all (which I don't at the moment anyway because of that...)

The problem is she couldn't give me a solution, I asked her what she wanted and she told me I couldn't fix it. All she sees is split loyalties and sharing me and all sorts of rubbish which simply isn't and won't be the case....

I've been in total despair and frustration, I've told her I love her more than life and trying to make me chose between then just isn't a normal and fair situation when my kids are not affecting us, it's her that is affecting us!

So this morning she's ranted again, telling me a psychologist has told her I need to set boundries and that clearly she isn't important to me because I me wanting to see my kids once in a blue moon must of course mean I don't love her!!! WHAT! I have offered her everything, the rest of my life.. a future together, a home and family and I even wanted to marry her! What does she say? Oh well two years ago you didn't have grandchildren.. if you had I wouldn't have signed up to this!

You don't enter a relationship with someone, then a few years down the line say, well this has come up, wasn't expecting that so sorry I'm off! If you love someone you deal with things that come up and move on together don't you?

So she's told me she doesn't love me anymore (although 2 days ago she loved me more than life) and that's it as far as she's concerned because she sees some imaginary future with me with babies bouncing on my knees.. their babies.. that are not a threat to her!! She threw away 2 years together and apparently the love of her life because she can't deal with my kids having families now!!! WHY!!