understanding

[noblehart]

hi everyone, thanks so much for reading this. I am new here and I have just experienced my first break up, i have a story to tell, and i have quite a few questions for you ladies out there, please bear with me.

3 months ago I met a very lovely lady on the internet, we started talking through IMs, every night we would IM each other for hours, sharing life experiences, learning about each other, she's not perfect, but she's honest, kind and true, some of the most important qualities i looked for in a person, 2 months ago we started seeing each other in person and quickly became BF/GF and shared an relationship together, I did everything i could to make her happy, I would drive to her place 4 or 5 days a week just to spend time with her, cuddle with her or watch movies together, she was the first girlfriend i've ever had and i honestly enjoyed every moment i've spent with her.... then a few days ago, totally unexpected, she broke up with me.

now we didn't go through a dramatic break up like most people would i guess, she was kind and she wanted to talk me through it , she said she needed her space, she said that i was more than she ever expected, but she didn't feel that "chemistry" with me, that she and I didn't "click", and because of that she wasn't comfortable enough to be completely open with me......she feels that we weren't meant to be together and if she tried to hang on any longer she worries that it might prevent us from being friends at all..... when i asked her if there was anything i could have done better, she said she felt i was suppressing myself just to fit her needs and if two people were right for each other everything would just fall into place....

I was happy when I was with her, seeing her or talking to her was like the only thing i'm looking forward to by the end of a long work day, and when i was with her all I wanted to do was to make her happy and comfort her, I had a very strong feeling toward her,

I remember the beautiful smile she had on her face when we were together, I remember all the sweet things she did for me, I remember how hard she tried to make me happy in return, I remember how we were able to talk about everything, even things neither she or I thought we ever feel comfortable enough to talk about..... beside what she told me, this is how I know she was happy with me.

I'm seriously trying to make sense of all this, what was it did we experience together? I know neither of us have felt real love before, i know we meant alot to each other, but was it love that we felt? what does it feel like when we are in love?

she understand the concept that relationship takes a lot of work on both sides to be maintained, that means no one is perfect and many things will need to be worked out in the course of an relationship. so when she says i'm not the right person for her, and everything should fall in place, what exactly does that mean? from the people i've talked to it seems many many ladies believe in this idea of having the right feeling for a particular person, but is this suppose to be a pure feeling? or should it be backed up by substance also? and what about those marriages that ended badly, isn't that because both parties shared this "feeling" without looking too deep into the substance? and when the feeling fades for one reason or another, things starts to get ugly?

so my next big question would be, why do so many people believe in this kind feelings when there's no substance to back it up? and if the substance is already there like in our case, why is it so impossible to work together and achieve that feeling afterward?

and my final question of the day, what does this feeling of the right person feel like? like how would I tell if I have had this feeling, or if I ever encounter this feeling?

I am sorry if I sound somewhat silly and ignorant, I admit i am in this particular case, i'm just looking for some answers to the things i couldn't understand, i mean somehow it feels wrong, insensible to think in the way that people should run around and spend years of their lives looking for the "right" person, when there's a person standing right next to you who has all the characters and personalities to complete your life, and all that's missing is the feeling........

I deeply appreciate you all for your time in reading this, please, if you have any understanding in this matter, please shed some light for me and help me understand this mess i'm in...... thank you so much.

[IndiReloaded]

...but if loooove ain't there... it ain't there...

[Gigabitch]

I think you need to get out there and have a LOT more contact with other people. Not just women, but guys, too. You should sit around with some guys and lament about women, you'd learn a lot, I'll bet.

You sound very isolated.