Just got back...

[Bo]

From dinner with my bf.

I'm upset because of something he said during a disagreement in a conversation we were having during dinner.

He brought up how it was dumb that buffets don't do to go orders if you don't finish your food and that this place in California did.
(No buffet i've ever been to lets you do to go if you don't finish you're food so i'm not sure wth he was talking about). Since my parents own a restaurant and i know the cost of how much it is to run a restaurant down to the little details, i told him business-wise it doesn't make sense because if it's an all you can eat buffet already, you're giving away a lot of food + paying for boxes all for free. People would eat all they want and then get another plate so they could ask for a to go box. It's a lot of money that businesses cannot afford.

His argument was that if it's a buffet then people are already wasting a lot of food and it doesn't make any difference, and it will bring in more customers if they get to take their left overs home.

I told him, i get what he is saying but for businesses it doesn't make sense and i feel a little more qualified to say so because my parents own a restaurant and i know how much everything costs.

He comes at me with 'well your parents don't own a 'buffet', and you're ONLY A WAITRESS.

I'm pissed, that is such a personal insult to me and i'm REALLY hurt.

We left and i told him i'm leaving when we got to his house, which turned into him still trying to prove his point when i told him repeatedly i'm done with the conversation. He said i hurt him by disagreeing with him and 'shooting down' his idea.

BECAUSE IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE! And he's NEVER been in the restaurant business before.

He just texted me this:

"i'm apologizing so u don't need to respond, so plz don't. i didn't mean it the way you took it, we shouldn't have been arguing in the first place, u don't have to disagree with me on things U THINK ur right about. so if u didn't start disagreeing with me about something i've seen and experienced before then nobody would have gotten hurt cuz i'm upset too that u got to sit there and tell me i'm wrong when its something i've seen."

Yeah some apology that is. i'm still pissed. i didn't respond.

[Bo]

i was really looking forward to spending the next hour with him cuddling before he left for work but now i'm just really pissed off and hurt. i don't think he quite understands the reason why i'm really hurt by him saying i'm ONLY a WAITRESS, it's just a low blow. I don't go to personal levels when disagreeing on things like this. And it made me feel like i'm not good enough...

AM I totally crazy or do i have a reason to be pissed right now?

[qwertz]

You start alot of threads!

[Bo]

Well this is like the stupid fights that I and my ex had, I mean both parties are all stubborn, and try to protect the opinions while If one of the person took a step back it would be Okay! But in any case, he was a bit of insulting in my idea, I mean Waitress?

Is it the sign that the communications are hard between you guys? Because you won't agree on each others opinion a lot, or it was a potential of disagreements.

I think, you better calm down first and later on, tell him how hurt he made you felt, which you hope at least one party would be listening without end up to a fight, and either him or you must try to stay calm next time. This is hard as I had been there :-(.

I feel like he tends to turn disgreements into debates, i've told him before and i fkn hate it. He texted me saying that he'd never tell me i'm not good enough but i'm still annoyed until i get my apology, totally ruined my night.

You start alot of threads!

i know, i get bored easily lol.

[Bo]

He knows he really upset me and i'm annoyed that he is comparing his personal insult to MY disagreeing with him as the same thing.

[girl68]

HE was wrong for the low blow but just so you know you did hit him with a personal blow the "I would know my parents own a restaurant and I know what it costs." You think that wasn't a low blow? Sorry sweetie but you did exactly what he did. You owe him an apology.l

[yellowbiz]

Seriously ? That upset you ?
Maybe he took your argument about your parents' business and you being more "qualified" (than him, obviously) as arrogant, I know that I would take it that way, and I'm only reading what you've supposedly said, I have no way of knowing *how* you've said it.
I'm guessing he's pissed just as much as you are, well not so much pissed as "hurt", but it's not as one sided as you see it.

Either way, it's a really stupid fight, kiss and make up, literally.

[Bo]

Seriously ? That upset you ?
Maybe he took your argument about your parents' business and you being more "qualified" (than him, obviously) as arrogant, I know that I would take it that way, and I'm only reading what you've supposedly said, I have no way of knowing *how* you've said it.
I'm guessing he's pissed just as much as you are, well not so much pissed as "hurt", but it's not as one sided as you see it.

Either way, it's a really stupid fight, kiss and make up, literally.

yes, to me it's a personal insult that he undermines my job and that he only thinks of me as a 'waitress' that doesn't know anything when in actuality i do a lot more then that and the fact that he obviously thinks i don't know anything about my parents restaurant even if it's not a 'buffet'. It was really rude the way he said it and the way he acted afterwards when i told him let's drop the subject and he kept bringing it up and trying to prove a point.

HE was wrong for the low blow but just so you know you did hit him with a personal blow the "I would know my parents own a restaurant and I know what it costs." You think that wasn't a low blow? Sorry sweetie but you did exactly what he did. You owe him an apology.l

I didn't say i KNOW for a FACT you're wrong. My point was that he is confusing what he wants as a consumer over what is logical for businesses. I still think what he said was totally out line and i mentioned earlier that i told him i see what he's trying to say but it's still not financially smart for buffets to sway that way.

[vashti]

Never attribute to malice that which can more easily be explained by stupidity. Do you really think he only sees you as "only a waitress"?

Choose your battles.

[girl68]

I didn't say i KNOW for a FACT you're wrong. My point was that he is confusing what he wants as a consumer over what is logical for businesses. I still think what he said was totally out line and i mentioned earlier that i told him i see what he's trying to say but it's still not financially smart for buffets to sway that way.

Just like other have said he didn't mean it THAT way, but that's what you choose to hear. Just like you didn't mean to sound like "I KNOW FOR FACT..." but that's how he took it. So you're both out of line. He needs to properly apologize AS DO YOU.

[Charlie Boy II]

I don't think what Bo said was remotely insulting. Girl can you please explain why her saying her parents own a restuarant so she knows what it costs etc, is insulting?

Anyway the whole fight sounds a bit silly

[qwertz]

I agree, i dont see how he could be offended....he just got the hump cause you didnt agree with him. Are you a waitress? if so then i dont see how him saying you're only a waitress is insulting.
Like vash says, you should pick your battles, and this doesnt sound like one of them to pick.

[Bo]

I don't think what Bo said was remotely insulting. Girl can you please explain why her saying her parents own a restuarant so she knows what it costs etc, is insulting?

Anyway the whole fight sounds a bit silly

That's what i mean, i don't think what i said was personal....it is a fact that he's never worked in/owned a restaurant and i have. And he was really offended by this apparently.

I agree, i dont see how he could be offended....he just got the hump cause you didnt agree with him. Are you a waitress? if so then i dont see how him saying you're only a waitress is insulting.
Like vash says, you should pick your battles, and this doesnt sound like one of them to pick.

I am a waitress, i work for my parents but i do A LOT of other things other waitresses don't have to do because my parents don't want to hire outside of the family. So my job includes a lot more then just taking orders. It can be quite stressful at times. The reason i was offended was because the way he said it sounded like this "well you're ONLY a waitress, how would you know a damn thing about restaurants". It was VERY RUDE.

[girl68]

I don't think what Bo said was remotely insulting. Girl can you please explain why her saying her parents own a restuarant so she knows what it costs etc, is insulting?

Anyway the whole fight sounds a bit silly

well I do not know her exact words of course but I think how he understood it was "I would know better than you because my parents own a resturant so obviously I'm more qualified to answer or tell you how it is" at least that's how it COULD have been itnerpreted. And given that he was soo pissed off I'm guessing that is exactly how he understood it.

Basically I think he was saying "I would know... and you couldn't possibly know".

[Bo]

He apologized, so did i...now all is good. YAY