Is there hope for us?:

[jessicarose]

Hello, Im here for advice. I thank all in advance for I am very grateful for all perspectives. Sorry so long but I'm in dire need of help.

I am 26 years old and I am a mother of a six yr old and 2 yr old. I was with their father for 9 yrs. We met when I was 16 and I've been madly in love with him since. He was and unfortunately still is my whole world. He was my friend adviser, lover and all. I have no family other than my children whom I love dearly. All I ever wanted was a family and now it is all gone. Last year I caught him with another woman who told me they had been dating almost a year. He then left me and the children and moved in with her. Since he was all I knew I found it hard to live without him and still continued seeing him. For awhile it seemed as if it was something he was going through and would pass but I started observing that he really cares for this woman. He said that he is torn between her and me and loved us both. He stays with her mostly but acts as if we are still together and nothings wrong when we interact. we have sex occasionally but I tell myself its not me being weak but just fulfilling desires and loneliness . I have not been able to see anyone due to my insecurities and look forward to him spending time with the children and I as if we were still a normal family. I know I am hurting myself and confusing things but I need him to help with the children and I feel like its not fair that he is happy and I am miserable. I gave him the best years of my life two children and all in between and he just gets to leave all responsibility and start over behind my back and is now happy. Whats worse is that I am so angry but yet I love him so much I continue to let him be in our lives any way he wants. I have hope that we will be together again but in the meantime I can see him caring for his girlfriend and her daughter as much as he cares for us . I would love to just forget him and the past but I cant since he is the father of my children and they love him so much. He has stated that he loves me but hes in love with her and hes never clear on what he sees in the future. I am confused on whether he really loves her or does he still love me. Is he just lost in passion and convenience. If so why has it been over a year and he still goes home to her instead of his family. Any advice on where his head might be or any insight at all is appreciated.

[bcgirl]

If he is choosing to depart his own children to be with her, I think there is your clear answer. He wants his cake and eat it too. He strings u along because he can. First step is to go into therapy . Hopefully this will help u become more confident and open your eyes to reality. A man who can dispose of u like trash along with his children doesn't deserve u. His children are his too, and for their upbringing its good for them to have a father, but u need to quit playing house with him. U are still young, get rid of this loser and get into some sort of support group and therapy. u need to stay strong for the kids. They see everything, and u r setting a bad example for them, would u want your child growing into an adult and putting up with a cheating spouse like u are?