Squirrley here:son in 1st street fight!

[squirrley]

Im mystified...horrified and

Ok I have taught my son to defend himself-but to walk away at any given time. Dont put up with anyones bullying...I JUST got a call from my bro-hes all proud cause he was down the block...WTF?

Apparently this little punk ass has talked a lot of smak to my son over the months...this kid took the first swing...Kyle stopped it and then beat the living shit out this kid...the kid was cryn and begn him to stop-NOW I havent seen my son yet-hell hath fury when he does get home though...it was in self defense so Im told...we'll see. But his best friend was with him and who knows...I'll get update soon-theyre on their way home.

OMG my kids first street fight and hopefully the last...

[hallanole]

girl it will be ok. i know your upset. my mom was very mad at me when i beat up a guy. ok so i was the bad ass shorty on the block that the boys thought they could beat/harrass.

if all is well just know that others won't really mess with him anymore. they will know he has a limit.

sorry this is the city girl talking. let me switch to my hicktown..

what??? you mean he hit another boy! how dare he! what if..... yadda yadda blah blah...

[Zekk_T_Strife]

I think we need to know the important thing from this incident......did he win?

[m0by]

Well, Zekk, he did make him cry. . .

[Innova]

ahhh memories, I remember my first street fight. Accually I don't because I blacked out (something that RARELY happens and only happens when extreme anger through emotion and pain are involved). My supposed friend said some ****ed up shit about the girl I first truly fell in love with quite a long time ago. Hey keep eggin on and on and with each word my fist kept clenching tighter and tigher. Before I know it all hell breaks lose. He was a bit bigger then me, I remember him getting a good shot on me, but then I woke up standing over him...

Damn that was a day I'll never forget. The look on peoples faces...

[jane]

RIGHT ON!!.. glad to see your badassness had passed off to your son.. LOL.. did he win?

[squirrley]

Oh yea-update sorry...He kicked the kids ass alright! Kyle and his best friend came home and I got the play by play version...too funny! The BEST part this other kid whose been messin with Kyle also(verbally-and his whole family is nuts) was there and saw Kyle beat his friends ass...he was like "OH SHIT" so yea the word is OUT my kid does NOT **** around...the kid went home with a bloody lip and a swollen eye.

Even though I dont condone fighting...this was justified. In alot of ways Im hoping seeing hes going to be a freshman other morons who talk smak wont anymore to him-they'll know NOT to mess with him.

This has a been an ongoing problem in my neighborhood...a few of the kids always starting shit with Kyle because they know ME and I dont allow fighting-so I think ultimately this is where it mostly stems. Hes got a lot of older friends who would defend him-but he stepped up to the plate-yes Im proud to know my son has taken on my trait of being able to defend himself when needed. Now just waiting to hear from the kids mom-nice...and along comes the infamous Deputy Gator! (our local teen Deputy) who actually likes Kyle. WAHOOO

[Kiechi]

Haha i remember my first fight. This boy was saying something about my friends mum nd my friend was getting pissed off bla bla bla. Then i said odnt bother aint worth it then the boy kept egging me on calling me wanker a pussyhole and all this shit. Then it went all blank. When i realised what happened i had the boy around the neck. he was crying for me to let go. I ws like WTF what the hell happened. Haha. I hope thats the last time that happens.

[jslaughter]

I grew up in New Orleans and was NEVER in a fight, well not one of my own. (I stepped in between a guy friend and an angry guy and I was all - "Can't we all just get along" and then I got hit!) But what I find interesting is my best friend grew up in Jay, Florida (population 500, MAYBE) and she was in fights all the time. I saw a picture of her with a black eye and half of her face completely swollen!

Anyway . . .

One fight under his belt will hopefully get the message across to any other potential jerks out there.

[BillyGalbreath]

I was ****ed with in junior high all the time. the little boy that never defended himself. The guy that people would trip and make me spill my lunch everywhere, and then just get up pick up the tray and go sit down somewhere. The guy that would sit there and let everyone push him around literally. I never said on thing. I never clentched my fists. But I also never showed anger or anything. I just let it go.

Then one day someone pushed me as I walked into the classromm, knocked me back a few feet. Then I just started walking again into the classroom. And he pushes me again knocking me farther back. Then I, again, walk into the classroom as nuthing happened.

He goes to push me a thrid time, and he is really pissed because i wont say anything nor stop tryingto pass him, and I just grabbed his arms pushed them down and to the side and walked right by him.

This furriated him badly. He walks up behind me now and sucker punches me in the back of the neck so hard my glasses flew off accross the room. Everyone in the classroom got dead silent and was watching to see what I would do.

I paused for a few seconds. Prolly like 5 seconds. Felt like an eternity tho. Then I turned around, looked him dead in the eye, and he goes to punch me. I threw my body to the side and he missed. He threw about 3 punches and I dodged every one of them. Then I grabbed him by his head (my fingers were spread out as wide as they could go and my hands were on his ears) and I slammed is face down onto the teachers desk.

He bounced off and I caught him before he could fall backwards and I picked him up by his arm and threw him across the teachers desk into the chalk board.

He then landed on the floor bleeding from the nose as I jumped over the desk and threw the chair across the room out of my way, then I was about to beat the shit out of him and I could throw any punches.

I had 7 other guys holding me back now off of this guy as he stayed down on the ground looking up at me in astonishment.

As soon as I stopped jerking like I was going to hit him and turned around the other guys let go of me.

No words were spoken - it was perfect silence in the room.

After about 10 seconds of looking around the room and at the guy on the ground, some girl brought me my glasses and I sat down in my seat. The guy wiped the blood from his nose and got something (idk what it was, toilet paper, napkins, kleenex, something) and sat in his chair.

Then the bell rings and the teacher comes back into the room not knowing what just happened.

I was never pushed or teased again. Until high school. lol - and thats a WHOLE nother story.

[Bonovox40]

I was ****ed with in junior high all the time. the little boy that never defended himself. The guy that people would trip and make me spill my lunch everywhere, and then just get up pick up the tray and go sit down somewhere. The guy that would sit there and let everyone push him around literally. I never said on thing. I never clentched my fists. But I also never showed anger or anything. I just let it go.

I was the same way. People just stopped caring in high school and I did have a decent group of friends but I remember my soph year that at my lunch table that every day, someone would have to wipe the table down with a rag. (don't they have f'n janitors for that?) And there were 6 or so guys at my table and one would always bully me. Anyway, he's always toss the rag to me (which would be wet) and i'd either have to catch it or let it lob past me and probably wack someone so i'd catch it and usually get some dirt water drops on me. This went on for awhile. (like I said, I had no self-confidence, was probably 5'6'', 120 pounds. Scrawny)
So one day, I was just pissed off about things. I knew the whole 45 minutes period that he would toss this rag at me. So finally when the rag came around it got passed to me. I said "Not today, I did it yesterday." and pushed it away. He slid it back saying "No, it's your turn again." I said "I don't think so." ....so we took it and threw it at me harder than a playful toss, but not like a fastball. Hard enough that if I didn't respond it would've gone *SPLAT* against my face hard enough to knock me back somewhat.

Somehow everything was in slow motion...I saw him throw it and almost simultaneously, I raised my arm and caught it in front of my face without even looking. Like when someone flinches because they think you're about to do something. I KNEW it was going to happen and it was like instinct. I caught it so fast I remember the guys next to me going "DAMNNNNN!!" Not at him throwing it, but my reflexes.

I remember smiling at him and my muscles tensing and my lower lip started to quiver uncontrolably. That only happens when I have been under extreme mental stress. I felt things starting to grey out in my vision and in my mind I was going to throw it back as hard as I could and at the same time step on the seat and leap over the table at him and just go off hoping that I would hit him once before I was destroyed. I just didn't care anymore and wasn't even thinking. I starting standing up and felt a arm on my shoulder. I turned my head and saw a lunch monitor behind me. She said "give me that." and I did and she gave it to a kid next to me and said "You wipe the table." and he did.

I have no idea if she KNEW there was going to be a fight or if she witnessed the whole thing without caring until violence was about to erupt. I still loathe school personel who KNOW about kids being treated cruelly and don't intervene. Survival of the fittest in school? There shouldn't even have to be an opportunity to express that.
I remember just sitting there in a daze and feeling this massive adrenaline drain. The period bell rang shortly after and there wasn't much else I remember. I ended up talking with some staff and volunteered to work as the nurses aide during my lunch/study hall period. She basically took me in out of pity because she knew I wanted more than anything to get away from that environment.
I ate in her office alone, but I didn't care. I was happy to just BE left alone. Looking back at it all, I hate that kid. I hate everyone that was like that to others like me. I never did anything to poke fun or bother anyone else. I even went with the flow and laughed at myself if I was picked on. But the consequences was that I basically was exiled and ALLOWED myself to be. I never stood up. I never said "Hey, I don't deserve this, i'm somebody!" I LOST the opportunity to develop social skills that i'm still learning today because I was weak. Do you have any idea how much more happy I most likely would have been if I was just ACCEPTED by someone? I honestly have repressed about 80% of my high school life. I only remember my senior year and those terrible situations (like above) in small amounts. It was only my last year that people starting LIKING me in some ways. That people would go "Hey Bono, how's it going?" in the hall. I remember my first 3 years saying each day "I'd be happy if a student acknowledged my presence in the hall. Just a nod, just a "hi", just....anything."

I totally understand why so many kids just erase themselves during teenage years. It's not like I never thought about it. The thing is it's so EASY to prevent probably 50% of kids doing suicide! The only thing I wanted was SOMEONE to see I existed! If one F'king person could smile at me ONCE during the 8 hours I was surrounded by people...i'd go home happy if just for that. High School is like the best example of primal pack animal mentality. Everyone is out to survive no matter WHAT the cost! But at that age, the ones surviving, don't care about anyone else. As long as they make it to the next day, whoever gets stepped on must deserve it, they were too weak.

Like those stories you hear: "Hear about John Doe? Killed himself the other day." "Yeah? Wasn't that the kid who had a locker near us?" "Yeah, I think he was on our bus too and in some class with us or something."...
It's like these people are just like you and I, except they're outcasts. They just want SOMEONE...ANYONE, to give them the f'king time of day. (excuse the language please)

There's a guy at the school I work at who works in the cafeteria. He's not retarded, but you know he's slow. Probably couldn't last a day in college. Maybe not even a HS degree. He rides a bicycle to work, I don't know if he could even drive a car successfully. So you get the idea.
Anyway, he's the nicest guy. Will always smile at you and ask how you are. But does anyone save the cafeteria staff talk to him? Of course not. Students walk past, not even a nod. Other staff walk by "Oh, there's that lowly peon again taking out the trash." look in their eye. It's f'king bull$hit! The guy wouldn't hurt a fly and if you said "Hey, I dropped my fork. He'd search the entire cafeteria to find one if all the forks just vanished. So I make it a point that everytime I see him I AT LEAST say "Hi Phil, how's it going?" to him. He DESERVES at least that much from exisiting and being a good person.

It's just that people DO NOT CARE! Anyone with a basic psychology course can tell you that one of the 5 (think it's 5) requirements of human NEED, is CONTACT with OTHERS. (probably falls under the "self-worth" section) And how to we get self-worth? By our interaction and judgement from other HUMAN BEINGS! If I was the only person in existence and I picked up a rock and threw it in the water. Did I do anything of worth? Probably not. But if someone else saw me and said "Hey, that stone may help contribute to a rise in water levels and additional growth of plants and organisms along the shoreline." (dumb example but you know what I mean) Well, if I heard that i'd be like "Oh, I did a good thing. I feel good inside." Thus getting additional self-worth.

All, i'm saying is take time to not be selfish. America is set in this mindset that it's not "All for one, and one for all." But "it's me and nothing more." I have a shirt I like that says "All for None". I don't follow that ideal, but it's funny to me. Sometimes i'm jealous of other cultures. Even ones that are behind us with technology and achievements. But the thing is there are cultures and tribes that EVERYONE has worth and importance. Everyone works together to help with each others problems. Here in America? I don't think so. If someone bigger is doing something and you're in the way, prepare to get trampled, don't worry about what you're doing might be selfless, the big dogs get first dibs. Some people are different though. I have the highest respect for people in the Red Cross, Salvation army, missionaries and others of that sort. They give up their time, money, lifestyle, to help others and never get back something tangible of equal worth in return. BUT they get something far greater in heart and spirit when you see the smile on someone's face.

I've been there through Boy scouts and church. I've felt that and I resesnt myself that I don't do that more. I've become selfish too. Blame it on American ideals? Nah, I know better than that. It's my own fault. Often i'm only thinking of me and not realizing that I can help others out and it won't cost me a thing. Only time. And I KNOW that the tradeoff is worth it in the end. This lifetime is just a test whether you're spiritual or not. We're the experiment and what we do will determine probably not just where YOU and I end up tomorrow, but the whole human race later on.

Anyway, i'm sorry I dumped all this out on a post that started off with Squirrly's kids fight. I just had to let this out, it was too easy to just open up with this topic. Hope you all understand. But Squirrly, be glad he has the self respect some of us lack/ed to stand up. It only gets harder in life if you don't.

[jslaughter]

I read your post twice and I had tears in my eyes. My high school experience was less than stellar, but mostly because my family moved my senior year and I ended up at a brand new school. (In another state, so not near my friends at all.) There were lots of tears shed at my new school I'm afraid and I remember that wretched feeling of invisability.

I could tell you all the happy sappy crap about the character you've built and the better person that you've become as a result of everything that you've been through, but I won't.

I'm sorry you had to go through that - - I am sorry that anyone has to go through that. All I can say I try my best to make sure the people I interact with in my life don't feel that way. I try to be appreciative, I try to call people by their name, I try to treat them as I want them to treat me. I do the best I can - some days I do better than others.

[Fawn]

Good Luck with your son Squirley! I just hope he realizes that you can't use fighting to solve every situation now.

At the start of public school (kindergarten-8) I was kind've a bully and I did end up picking on one kid (which eventually came to haunt me in my highschool years). Then later on in Public school I became the one that was picked on, and that was invisible.

It was like this through grades 9 and 10 in highschool too. To make it worse my self-esteem got so low from this one girl that was verbally/mentally abusing me, that I wouldn't go to school and eventually went into a depression. Then in Grade 11, it stopped and I began to make more meaningful friends. Although alot of the time I still felt alone, but it made me feel abit better to be acknowledged.

Now in college, I have a few good friends and a really great bf. I'm happy with my life right now. Sure, I need a job. lol. But overall, i'm happy.

[Bonovox40]

I'm not saying that EVERYONE is like that. It's just so easy to regress into that mode for our own safety. Why take a chance for someone else if you can be safe and sound looking out for number one? Of course I mean that sarcastically but that's how it always seems to be for most people.

In alot of ways, I felt I was pretty dumb when it came to street/school savvy. I questioned 'why' someone was treating me in a certain way rather than just stand up and do something about it. Even though I was being hurt, I didn't want to bring hurt to anyone else. I figured i'd turn the other cheek and take it up the rear. And I did for along time. Some days I still do in the metaphorical sense. I'm still learning.

But if you think I had it bad, there was another kid I saw that had it worse. And he either accepted it or was ignorent of the fact. Let me explain: You all know that I can type and throw in some personality/humor and such. Well, this guy was the equivilent of me minus all the good social aspects and some general attractiveness as well. Just looked dorky and was pretty robotic in conversation. Anyway, got picked on alot and just plain ignored. He tried to be friends with me and I TRIED but it just didn't work. I couldn't enjoy being around this guy. I could NOT get a conversation going ever. We'd just sit there waiting for a piece of skylab or something to fall to talk about. Seriously, i'd be like "Um..so what do you think of dysentary? Pretty fun affliction to have right?" (I mean, I could seriously say that just to instigate SOME response! I'd be happy with a "what the hell are you talking about? Dying from the runs is fun!?") But no, i'd get a "Yeah, I guess so...." "..." "..." Nada. Zilch. No social interaction with this guy. The most excitement would be riding our bikes somewhere and him going "Um..let's ride to that next hill..." and that would be it. So I rather quickly made myself disappear. (hard to do since he lived near me/shared the same bus)

So in HS, my senior year, i'd run into him in the halls, give a nod or something. SOMEHOW, he found himself in the popular kids group. And it WASN'T because he was popular! He was their TOOL. It was terrible. They drug him around like a dog. They said that he was their "mascot". F'ing right. More like "Whipping boy". The thing is either this guy enjoyed being "accepted" into this group so much or was ignorent of the fact, he acted happy. But inside I could see at times he was breaking down. I remember one time in the hall packing up to get the bus home, some guys were talking to him and laughing and he turned and walked away and just SLUGGED a locker as hard as he could. Caused a moment of silence as he walked past and I could see the anger in his eyes. I didn't know what to say/do and then he was gone.

But the absolute WORST thing that happened to him was this: When the yearbook came around. Our school did the chicken$hit idea to put "most popular/best " ", thing in the back of the yearbook. You know, most popular guy/girl/couple. Best dresser/funniest, Cutest guy/girl, Best car. etc. Basically a popularity cop-out for the ones who know where they already stand. If you're in the back of the book, you're set. If not, you're just a blip on the radar so to say.

ANYWAY, in a bunch of the photos for popular this and that, this kid was in them. DELIBERATELY! He was between the cutest couple, and the best personality boy and girl. If you didn't already guess, the popular people had access to the yearbook staff. It was one massive cruel joke against HIM. EVERYONE knew it when they saw it that it wasn't a compliment, it was an insult. And he didn't f'king deserve any of it. He put up with being their lap dog and they went and made everyone know that that's what they saw him as. It was a cruel, cold and heartless thing to do. Sure, they justify it as "He was our buddy, we wanted him to feel special." BULL$HIT! They knew what they did. It would be the same thing as taking a kid with no legs and letting him be on the high jump team, but telling him it's because he's great at jumping.

Like I said. HS is cutthroat. It always will be no matter what kind of town. You're either a big fish or a feeder fish. And maybe if you're lucky, people don't even know your in the pond at all...

[squirrley]

Bono-wow! I didnt realize one statement I made about Kyle entering HS would trigger such a thread. But I have to say I never really had any problems in HS, I was so outgoing-Cpt of the Cheerleading Squad so I liked being out there involved with people and the community.

One problem I did have when I was a sophmore has a definite memory. I was catching the bus after school-forgot something so I ran back to my locker. By the time I came back to get on the bus I was pulled into the principles office. OMG what the **** did I do? Apparently one of the most popular Seniors was struck in the eye with a rock with such a force that her put her in the ER...hence someone saw me running and me throw the rock! AH no I didnt...I sat in the office and cried for 2 hours til my parents got there...I was put on probation from the cheerleading squad-my life in school for those next weeks was PURE HELL-EVERYONE hated me-including my closest friends...cause Ms. Popular was severly injured and I did it. I tried to tell people. I was scrutinized to the MAX. ME the Cptn of the JV was now the schools biggest bitch.
After a couple of weeks of this torture and I mean I cant explain JUST how bad it was-(id cry everyday for someone to listen) the person who DID do it saw just how poorly I was treated and turned herself in. She had seen the shit I got into and didnt want to partake in that bs...but eventually the guilt mustve eaten her because as soon as she told...I started to get apologies from my so called friends but not Ms. Popular. The girl who actually threw the rock apologized to me she said she felts so horrible. HOW THE HELL DO YOU THINK I FELT!

I KNOW the ultimate reason for Ms. Popular being the way she was towards me-I had dated her boyfriend before her-and she hated me. What a joke. Such bs. But I never got any apologies from the people in that school including the mother ****ing principle. I was reinstated on the cheerleading squad-but my reputation was severly hurt by that-and not everyone knew the whole truth. Its not like I wanted a public apology but from those that scorned me the most-yea wouldve been nice.

NOW Im not one to hold grudges and thankfully we moved from that area after my sophmore year...but today I look back on that and think Geezuz HS is suppose to be one of your best times in your life-and for the most part I can say it was-other than that one isolated time. Amazing how that has such an impact on you. Right Bono?

I've taught my son to be outgoing as possible and to have a variety of friends not get into such clicks cause when youre 30 and youre out of there no one cares who the hell you are then. Enjoy school as much as you can with your friends.

I enjoyed school and all the friends I had-I was never one for a bully and always made the effort to involve people no matter who you were...and I have no regrets. I wouldnt go back though. The peer pressures are bad-and I cant imagine just how much worse they are now-pot is not the choice of drugs anymore-its cocaine. The things I hear from my son and his friends blow my mind. I pray everyday my son will get through HS with little problems but Im not ignorant either-theres bound to be things that will happen and I will deal with them the best way I know how. I want my son to be a good citizen and be remembered as a good kid...not one that didnt give a shit and thinks hes better than anyone else. Cause were all the same and were all trying to survive...yea Bono survival of the fittest is damn right...and its a ****ing shame. Some things change and some things will always stay the same.

But for now I'll make damn sure my son doesnt end up on Oprah with a suprise guest from his past-"Oh you treated me like crap"...just be nice because it makes life so much easier.