This man and I have been off and on again for 2 years. We did ok the first go-around. The best we could for the circumstances. Unfortuntatly I was on the rebound from a short marriage and he was still recovering from a broken heart. My fault was I really wasn't ready to "settledown". And his was he wasn't ready to "open Up" Eventually however, We became attached, fell in love and then just when things started to look up .... NOTHING he decided to move out of state just 6 months after we started becoming "serious". I tried to keep my cool.. being supportive of his decisions to make something of his life. I helped him pack find schools (basically took care of everthing he would need for his transistion). We decided to enjoy the time we had left until I realized I was too emotionally involved to try and pretend the whole situation was ok.
Unaware that we were going to start a trend... We kept seeing each other ... and still do(a move that was suppose to happen in a month, to this day 1 1/2 years later .. has YET to happen). I was confused for a while as to what we were .. until the call. He had always said he was a "one-moman" man. HA well he met someone. He and I could "no longer be" (whatever it is we were). He wanted to give them a chance... so I respectfully (with my broken heart) backed off. NOT a month later.... ring, ring HE starts calling, no mentioning of her. I thought we were going to really give us a chance. Until I found out.. not only was she still in the picture.. but she was 2 months pregnant. .. but then again... so was I. He tried convincing us that he wasn't ready. Neither was I... however she kept hers. I have never been more ashamed or heart broken in my life... I was a fool to listen to him and not stand up myself. Reguardless.. she knew NOTHING OF ME... until one day I ADVISED HER. I felt she had every right to know that their entire relationship was a lie. He livid with me called "us" off again.. which was fine with me! BUT i still loved him. 3 months later... they are still together and I myself has moved on as well. UNTIL RING RING he misses me .. i Fall again and for the past 6 months we have been having an affair. WHY WHY WHY why can't this man and I leave each other alone. To me the cheating is wrong... I would have never looked myself as a cheater before him. I can't say no to him.. Why can't he stop calling me?? What is it that makes a man keep coming around??? PLEASE ANY FEED BACK i keep thinking someone sees it differently than I do.. he wont open up.. maybe i can get a mans opinion to understand what he may be feeling or thinking. HELP