Heartbroken - need some help and advice

[Youngrapunzel]

Hi all
I am just here for some advice really as I am completely heartbroken.
I have recently split from my boyfriend of 4 years and I can't get my head around what to do next or how to handle it. I knew we'd been having issues for a little while; I went to university last year and he stayed at home, and I spent a lot of my time on the phone comforting him, not going out because he didn't like it, and spending all of my weekends with him. I got so tired and fed up that I doubted I wanted to be in the relationship anymore, but after a few months I got over it and decided I did truly love him.
The other factor that I think may have contributed is that we both got full time jobs for the summer and originally he didn't want us to and got very upset but we got through it and it just made me treasure my time with him more.
We then booked a holiday away but while we were away we had two major arguments, one of them I can't even remember the reason why and the other was regarding money and misinterpretation. We both couldn't see us being together at the end but we got through it and we had a long talk about being together and both decided we loved each other so much we would work through it.
Anyway, end of September comes and we are both going to uni this year as he got into the same uni as me but for a different course. He starts to make friends and I'm fine with this until he makes friends with a purely girl group and spends all of his time with them. Naturally I get jealous, especially as he now wants to live with them next year and basically putting spending time with them over me. He couldn't see from my point of view that if that had been me last year he would have gone crazy and I wouldn't have done it.
We agree to have specific date nights and both go badly because of them. Firstly we are due to go for dinner and he goes to dinner with them about half an hour before due to go with me, and the second date night when we are sat together watching a film he wants to go to see them (with me) and because I didn't really fancy it gets really angry at me.
I go home next day feeling sorry for myself and text him telling him I don't feel like his first choice anymore, and he doesn't reply. I decide to leave it to him to reply and go out that night, knowing he is going to the same place. In my drunken state I am texting and calling him and no answer. I go outside to cry and he comes out with his friends, sees I am stood there crying and walks away, so in anger I chase him and slap him. I walk away but he doesn't follow and then my friend goes to speak to him and tells me if I want to talk she will text him and tell him. I get annoyed at needing permission so stomp over to find him and find him going back inside the club. One if his male friends stops him but has to forcibly stop him, and he comes over and says nothing and so I slap him again and tell him to go back inside if he really wants...so he does.
I end up calling and texting repeatedly and no answer, so the next morning I send him a long message saying it is in his hands and I get a text asking to talk. I ask what about he says us, and basically he is coming round to break up with me (he even wanted to do it in public!!). He comes to mine and I am already crying.
He spends the next 4 or so hours with me and his reasoning was in summary 'we don't get along anymore/we don't suit anymore/we argue too much' and he didn't want to try anymore, no matter how many reasons I have him to and how many times I asked to just try once more. I kept asking him why he was still here and he said he didn't know, I asked him if he still loved me and he said he didn't know. However, throughout the breakup he kept crying and saying he missed how we used to be but refused my offer of trying to be like that again, and when he left I said I love you and he said it back.
We have a phone conversation later on and we are fine; talking like friends, but that's it. I go back home the next day because I wanted to see my family. We don't speak other than friendly text messages but it is always initiated by me. I offer to go for some coffee and he agrees but says he'll let me know when. I go to see his mum (I am still close with his family) that evening and offer to get him something from his house that he needs, to which he agrees and says he'll call me. I'm interested to see why but turns out he just wanted to guide me around the room, which offended me slightly as I knew my way. We get back onto coffee and he assumes it was for closure to which I get defensive because really it was to try as be friends like we'd discussed. I ask him if there is any chance of us getting back together and he says no not really. I then ask if he's missed me at all and he says no, and that he's been happier without me in his life. I ask why and he says because there is no pressure or stress. I ask if he has decided whether or not he loves me and he says he doesn't know again.
Anyway, I was hoping that someone could shed some light on what I should do. I have mixed opinions, some telling me to try and be friends now but I know my motives are selfish - I want to show him what he's missing so I can get him back, and not lose him from my life because he supported me through everything. He seems willing to be friends but it seems as though I have to initiate it. Others telling me to cut all contact now, completely. I am his sisters bridesmaid in December and I don't want to be on bad terms then. But I feel like if he truly believes he is never coming back then I need time away to get over it. I'm really struggling with that as well; we spent all of our free time together and he was my best friend as well as my lover. I wasn't expecting it as I thought we could get through anything together, and I can't get my head around the fact that he hasn't missed me at all?!
I am really hoping someone can help me on this, as I really want him back and I want to try and get him back through being friends... Will this work? Do I give up on the idea and be his friend straight away? Or take myself away from the situation to grieve for longer?

[Boisdevie]

Dump him. Find someone new to shag. And sod the wedding - you don't need to be a bridesmaid. Stop being a ****ing doormat.