life without a husband

[jessica6]

I had a few relationship in my life(I am 42 now) and they all cheated on me including the present husband. I am thinking about to live my life alone because of this. I give up and try to think about a life without a husband. has any woman do that? are you happy?

[michelle23]

you need to look at yourself OP. the problem is you. this is a pattern that has repeated itself over and over again so what are you doing wrong? you probably have bad taste in men. do you wear your heart on your sleeve and ignore all the early warning signs and red flags? the common denominator here is you. are all these men alike? what type of personality are you drawn towards?

each time you get burned your supposed to learn from that and learn what to avoid the next time. maybe counselling would help you to make some positive changes so you learn to spot the bad guys early and also ensure that how you look and act attracts the right ones.

are you too nice? do you have doormat, vulnerable, naive wriiten all over you? are you a damsel in distress type or do you look for a man that you can save or change or fix? are you co-dependent?

what can you change toxptevent this happening again?

[smackie9]

We can't help you unless you give us some background about yourself, your personality, how you deal with situations, what you do in your free time, do you take care of yourself and your appearance, what your social circle is like, hobbies, activities, etc.

Don't give up, even just talking with us might be helpful for you and to find some direction.

[IndiReloaded]

you need to look at yourself OP. the problem is you. this is a pattern that has repeated itself over and over again so what are you doing wrong? you probably have bad taste in men. do you wear your heart on your sleeve and ignore all the early warning signs and red flags? the common denominator here is you. are all these men alike? what type of personality are you drawn towards?

each time you get burned your supposed to learn from that and learn what to avoid the next time. maybe counselling would help you to make some positive changes so you learn to spot the bad guys early and also ensure that how you look and act attracts the right ones.

are you too nice? do you have doormat, vulnerable, naive wriiten all over you? are you a damsel in distress type or do you look for a man that you can save or change or fix? are you co-dependent?

what can you change toxptevent this happening again?

Michelle, I know where you are coming from, but I must say I dislike your post. This is not the OPs problem; its the men who cheated.

@ Jessica - I think you are a strong woman with good values. Kudos to you for being strong enough to leave these men who would treat you this way--many women wouldn't leave even after their men cheated.

I do agree with Michelle that you should try to figure out what these men had in common and try to avoid these kinds of men in future. Or, you could have just been unlucky, there is also that.

Don't give up hope. There are many wonderful men out there with good values who will love you and be faithful. Some of them have been cheated on by women--it goes both ways. Love can be very healing. Keep your heart open but be wiser about who you give it to. Learn to trust your gut if something doesn't seem right. Good luck.

[michelle23]

im not saying its her fault they cheated. of course not. all im saying is if this keeps happening then perhaps shes not learning from past mistakes. i wasnt judging. i was just asking open qs.

[IndiReloaded]

Michelle, when you use language like "the problem is you", that is judmental. But, as I said, I think your intent is different from how it came across. I'm sure the OP is smart enough to work this out.

It's harder than one thinks to walk away from bad behaviour, especially when you love that person and have made a commitment to them. Speaking from experience. It requires inner strength to set those boundaries, and act on them when crossed. I think Jessica needs to know that she is on the right track holding to them. Being a bit smarter about her choices is relatively easy in comparison.

[michelle23]

yes i agree it does take a lot of strenght to walk away from someone your emotionally invested in if/when they hurt you and the OP should be proud of herself for not putting up with it.

im sorry if my post came across like that. i meant no offence. i just think the OP should be more cautious and weary and protect herself from the type of men she keeps falling for. there is a pattern here which needs to change.

dont give up all hope. there are great men in this world. you just need to find one and be careful who you choose

[smackie9]

I think what she is asking is, should she trust herself to make a better choice or to just give up. I think there just needs to be some support for now and figure out what to do about it later. It's healing time, not lets rehash the old issues.

[michelle23]

why dont you tell us the full story OP and get it all off your chest? well prob be able to provide better advice that way.