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Thread: Am I a Red Flag - Please Help

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2017
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    Am I a Red Flag - Please Help

    Well here you go, I'm 38 and never been in a long term relationship, am I a red flag for men? And am I even more of a red flag because I've been on numerous of unsuccessful dates that haven't turned into anything long term? And if I am a red flag how the hell do I get over this hump so that some man would actually take a chance on me, enjoying my company and having fun. instead of being concerned of my lack of long term relationship experience and start looking for whats wrong with me?

    A little about myself...
    - i'm 38.
    - I've only ever had one boyfriend back when I was 20.
    - I spent my 20's having fun, enjoying life, travelling and working on my career.
    - I would say men are attracted to me physical. i'm no super model but I was say I'm easy on the eye.
    - Average weight.
    - I exercise and eat healthy.
    - I have a lot of friends and a decent social life.
    - I part own a business (coming up to 4 years now).
    - I really want to settle down and start my own family.
    - I'm close to my own family.
    - I'm quite independent. I'm capable of doing things by myself. Not that I really want to keep doing things on my own, it's just how my life has panned out.
    - I like to think I can hold a conversation.
    - I'm stubborn and I can be a bit blunt at times.
    - I'm definitely not perfect.

    Any advise would be greatly appreciated.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2018
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    "38 and never been in a long term relationship, am I a red flag for men? And am I even more of a red flag because I've been on numerous of unsuccessful dates" That's not a red flag at all, at least not for me. Everything about you sounds perfect. I'm 21 and I've only had 3 dates in my entire lifetime. 2 were successful. The last girl was perfect, but it didn't work out because she didn't like that we lived too far away from eachother, and I didn't always have the money to see her as often as possible.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Feb 2017
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    Since we do not know you we cannot give feedback on what you are doing wrong

    Maybe you have a squeaky voice
    Or you reek of cigarets
    Or maybe you are just plain and boring
    Or maybe not.

    The only persons who could really tell you are friends or exes

    None of the things you have posted so far suggest a red flag to me personally

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
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    Female
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    132
    The age thing shouldn't be perceived as a red flag since everyone is getting married later in life. There can be nothing wrong with you. Maybe you didn't have much luck meeting the right person and you didn't just want to settle down with just anyone. It's ok.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jun 2017
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    653
    Not a red flag. You sound like you have a great head on your shoulders.

    Dating is just difficult at times. When you're a high quality woman you're seeking a high quality man, an equal. They aren't perfect, as perfect doesn't exist, but they embody qualities and make you feel in such a way that everything in life just seems much better. Its rare to find that connection. You sound selective, which is good.

    If people ask about your past relationships and you don't want to share it. Don't.
    Wait until you feel comfortable. That's really not all of their business.

    Just say you'd rather just focus on what you're making in the moment, and that youre not concerned about past relationships (as long as you don't have to worry about a crazy ex reappearing)

    I think you possibly have some doubts about possibly your abilities, and, you know, I learned a lot about dating during the times that I wasn't dating. Who i am, what i want, who I want to be, what I want in a relationship, etc. I've had some of my best personal growth in those times that I wasn't dating anybody.

    I don't remember where I read it but I remember a saying that said something along the lines of "I learned a lot about love when I fell out of love. I learned a lot about being a friend when I was alone"
    Last edited by GLYC; 22-03-18 at 02:46 PM.

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