All my life, I have been an extremely romantic guy. I am in love with the idea of love. I have always wanted to find the right girl for me. All the same, I've also always been extremely realistic. Meaning, I know that the quest for that one true love can be a crazy, roller coaster ride, and that not every girl/guy you at one point hope to be with can turn out to be the one.
All the same, at one point, I thought I had found "the one." So much so, that we happily got married. Long story short, didn't take too long into the marriage that she completely turned into a different person (or, more likely, revealed her true self she had kept hidden from me all along), and NOT for the better AT ALL.
After a relatively short time, but what felt like an eternity, we decided to end it. I should have been devastated. I should have taken a long time to heal, and to even want to get back into the dating world. But... fact of the matter is that relationship was so bad that I went through all of that crap while I was with her. By the time we decided to end things, I was just done with her. So, in a surprisingly short amount of time, I felt healed.
I was even really excited about getting back into the dating world. I was so excited about the fact that maybe my dream girl was still out there. Maybe she was dreaming of finding me. But, I felt it wasn't right to start yet. Even though I felt ready, the right thing to do was to give myself time first. Unfortunately, that was when I first noticed the girl I talked about in one of my other threads. I've already talked at length about that, so to sum up, it was at a time when I felt the time wasn't right for me to start to move on yet, even though I felt ready. But, deep down, for the first time in my life, I knew I could talk to her when the time was right. I've always been very shy.
Again, long story short, I was laid off (and later got a much better job) before I even got the chance. I have no way to contact her, save for hoping that one of my former co-workers may know her and be able to pass along my contact info. Either way, that felt like too much of a long shot. But, for a long while, I still had a crush on her. Now, it feels like that has started to fade away, and I have started to move on. Unfortunately, I feel a little empty. Like that romantic part of me is there, but it is disconnected now. Kind of strange that the end of my marriage didn't do that to me, but getting a new crush, and then losing my chance to pursue her is what did. I'm not even sad, or depressed, or anything. I am very happy. But, I just don't even feel excited about dating anymore. At least at the moment. I guess in time I will be fine. Though, as I believe I said in my other thread, this time I really don't want to just "be fine." I want my chance to talk to her.
(tl;dr Summary below...)
Quick summary for those who may like to comment, but without the time to read all that...
I ended a bad relationship not too long ago. After slowly realizing how bad that relationship was for me, by the time it ended, I actually found myself excited to get back in the dating world and try again. I have always been extremely romantic and in love with love. Kinda like the dude in all the romantic comedies. LOL! I was excited to try to find my soulmate again... Then I noticed a girl at work and got a crush on her. But, it felt too soon to move on. Not because I wasn't ready, but just because it wasn't right to move on without giving it time. I lost my chance to talk to her when I was laid off (and thankfully found a much better job). Lately, I've started to feel my crush finally start to fade, but it has left me feeling empty, like that romantic part of me is still there, but it is now disconnected. I'm not even depressed or anything. I am actually very happy. But I just suddenly feel kind of indifferent to the pursuit of my true dream girl now.