Vicious circle of lying and Mistrust

[therealjag]

Hey there,

I have been going out with my girl for 9 months now and to be honest the past few months have been hellish...

basically she keeps telling me to stop going out and drinking cos:

A. she doesnt get on with my friends
B. She doesnt let me go out on my own cos she thinks I'll cheat on her

so everytime we argue she always wants me to do what she says and at the time i always give in and agree cos tbh i cant handle arguing with her all the time as it stresses me out and she always nags and nags till she gets her own way anyway...

so what ends up happening is that i end up goin out anyway behind her back....i dont cheat on her or nothing - i just go out so i can get some chill time wit my boyz...cos i miss hanging out with them. since ive been with this girl ive only seem my mates max 10 times in the last 6 months and its just depressin me cos i was always so close with my mates and we used to meet up at least 2 times a week.

anyway what should i do bout this situation cos when she does catch me going behind her back it breaks her heart and she feels she cant trust me anymore....i tried ending it with her but she doesnt want to let me go and its so difficult. i dont want to end it either but she leaves me no choice so i always try to end it. and then when she doesnt let me then obviously we just end up in the same vicious circle again!!

any advice would be great!! :S

Thanks

Jag

[Petit Papillon]

To be honest, belive me, this relationship won't work out. This girl is totally immature and needs to have low self esteem.Finish it before it will be too late (somehow,dunno, baby or even marriage- because she seems to be so crazy that someday she will ask for those things,maybe in near future as she already tries to tie You down with her). You deserve better. Find a girl who will not force You to lie to her,because seems like You're a nice guy.

[therealjag]

hey wow you must be right because she has already asked me to do those things. she wanted me to propose to her on Valentines day and at first for reasons before i kind of agreed but then talked her out of it a few months later cos i thought it was too early (and especialy cos of the arguements we been having) and that was only 4 months in....also she says that she wants to have babies with me which also scares me alot cos i dont think we're at that stage to be talking bout that kind of stuff. i know she really loves me and i love her too but is it really love when the other person doesnt care about what the other person wants?!

[Petit Papillon]

See? Really finish it because anyway this relationship has no future. It could only get worse. You will marry her,will have a baby and then You get a divorce and create another broken family... don't do that.It's only 9 months old relationship.

[therealjag]

Yeah I know...i really do want to be with her but I cant provide her with the kind of love or whatever you want to call it that she is looking for cos most of the time, the things she wants makes me miserable and vice-versa...She's a really sweet girl and all she wants i guess is someone to love her but I cant be that guy and i know as time goes on it will get worse and worse till i do leave her and by then like you said, it could all be too late :S

[Petit Papillon]

Yes, and You have to leave her to let her grow up. She seems like she's living in a fairy tail. How old are You? I assume not old. She may be sweet and all but she's crazy. Remember to marry and build family with a person who is smart and mature enough to see other peoples needs. I really understand You need contact with Your friends. Everybody does.And if you never gave her reason to feel jealous that it's pretty a sign that she has problems with herself. Leave her, there is enough sweet girls out there that won't treat you like a prisoner . If you decide to stay,trust me ,you will regret it very much pretty soon.