should I give up or stay low and watch what happens?

[shadowhunter]

well I figured this would be the best place to go to get some female advice on what I am going through right now.

I met this from my school on facebook just a few days before school ended for summer vacation..well actually she added me as a friend on facebook...thats how we started talking. We talked a lot on msn and on the phone it seemed that everything was gonna go real good. We hung out only once though from July till now basically because she had to work but anyways one day I asked her does she like anyone and she went on how its someone I new and stuff like that and I was telling her the same type of stuff. Just when we finished chatting she said the person that I like is you and then I said I was thinking the same thing. Then we decided to go on a date. On the day of our date we were chatting and she said her ex boyfriend was in a car accident and she said she was going to the hospital to see him..and by the we never did get to go on the date I tried calling her but no answer until later on that night. The following morning she sent me a message on facebook saying that her and her ex boyfriend are back together..she told me she was really sorry that it didnt work out with us and she told me that after seeing him in the hospital following the accident she said they both realized that they missed each other. She did say though that we can still hang out. Then I replied and said that I understand how u and your boyfriend are back together and that u miss each other. I said someother stuff then asked her if she would have gone out with me if none of this had happend and she replied and said yes she would have. I think some where deep down she wants to be with me and not with her boyfriend...
it really hurts..I think about her sooo much and then I say to my self wait she's back with her boyfriend I won't be going out with her anytime soon maybe.

So I would really like it if someone gave me some advice on how I should deal with this...

[Citycat]

I'm sorry this has happened to you. There's not much you can do. They are together now. She might break up with him someday, but who knows when that'll be and whether any of you will still be interested in each other. You have to move on. You don't have much history with her - you weren't dating, never really went out, so you'll mend quicker than you now think. Even if you're still going to have feelings for her, don't wait for her. Now you have the full right to see whoever girl you like. She's dating someone, why would you be holding on?

[Aegis]

I'm betting the accident was invented. How convenient, the day of your date, the ex gets in an accident and then they realize they still like each other. It's like God's own hand played a part in it. Or she just made it up.

[Citycat]

^ Aegis could be right. I don't know what's with all these people meeting online. Is it so hard to approach a girl in the old fashioned offline way? The Internet is EVIL.

[shadowhunter]

it was seriously a car accident trust me...because I know some of the guys friends and they were saying how bad it was and everything and the accident happend the day before I dont think I put that in there sorry.. it wasn't actually a date we were just gonna hang out for the day..but by how the way we talk to each other I was pretty sure we were gonna have like a first kiss or something so thats why I said date cause on all my other dates I've had I had always had the first kiss in them

[shadowhunter]

and also some of my friends think that she went back with him out of pity for being in such a bad accident....it really drives me crazy...I feel bad for the guy for him being in an accident but me and this girl were just Abbott to get into a relationship.. I'm sure of it...if it wasnt for the accident we could have already been in a relationship

[Aegis]

rofl..."Abbott"...when spellcheckers attack...

Anyway, besides thinking the whole thing sounds suspicious, many people have some pretty negative opinions about starting off relationships online. Seems you've only hung out once in person; it doesn't seem like a lot of ground to stand on.

[shadowhunter]

sorry aegis if u have an iPod touch you would understand it..it automatically fixes errors and fixed about to abbott:S

Anyways the girl is in my school!! We have seen each other many times in school in the hallways when I'm with my friends...she even came to watch me play basketball in the gym there once but all this was before we truely knew each other..I might just stay low for the next month and see what happends with her and if nothing changes I will completely move on how does that sound...but me and this girl do have a lot in common..I find it hard to believe that she would go out with the guy again...he smokes, drinks like crazy and god knows what else lol...I just hope for the best for me and her

[Aegis]

That's probably a reasonable plan; you don't want to seem too disappointed by this to her. Play it cool, see what happens, I guess keep in touch with her, keep your ear to the ground, etc. However, it would be prudent to seek a different girl while you're in limbo with this one, I think.

[misombra]

that sucks. but it was probably for the best. i bet she'll be back though. the pity party will eventually end for the other guy and his true self will once again come shining through.

best thing to do is to leave her alone. talk to other girls and let it be a lesson.

[shadowhunter]

thats probably what I will do..lay low and keep in touch and everything like that.
but do u guys think I could steal her away from him..I mean Im thinkin its pity sort of I dunno we will see what happens..I am normally a good guy so i should have no problem

[Aegis]

I really have no idea, but if you try, be careful how you go about it...don't give her any impression that you're possessive, desperate, clingy, meddlesome, etc...

I guess if you really wanted to wage war, shoot the other guy down whenever you two are conversing alone; bring up all his bad points or something, but subtly.

By the way...I wouldn't consider that latter bit as "practical advice" lol...

[nuevo]

soo... let me get this, the accident was *accidentally* the same day as your date, and also they got back together the same day.....ohhh really??

[Aegis]

That's what I thought at first, but apparently the accident was the day before they were supposed to get together. Granting the benefit of the doubt, it would seem his best course is to just stay aware of the situation whilst pursuing others.

[shadowhunter]

What if I told her how I am truely feeling about the whole thing... Because I can't stop thinking about her and it drives me crazy that there won't be a relationship anytime soon...it was going really good with me and her too until her ex had that stupid car acident...I hope I can some how just get a relationship started but I will be looking for other girls at the same time for sure