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Thread: Friend Zone... or damn close!

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
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    Friend Zone... or damn close!

    First time poster here, so go easy on me. Sorry for the length... I'll get right to it... there is a girl that I am interested in, but I fear that I might be firmly planted in the friend zone. I'm 29 and she's 27. We met about 4 months ago, and hit it off instantly. I actually met her through another female friend of mine at an outdoor concert. Well, this friend of mine that I met her through has had a crush on me for years, and this concert was the first time I had seen her in a couple years. Within the week after the concert, this old friend of mine confesses to me that she would like to date me... and then she kissed me and I reciprocated, but knew instantly that I had made a mistake. I rejected her advances and went home shortly after, but not before spending some time with this new girl that I had come to like. We always have good conversation, and I believe we (the new girl and I) are both sexually attracted to each other.

    So this new girl and I met out a couple times. The first night I was out with her, she invited me to stay over at her place. We were both pretty drunk, and all that happened was a goodnight 5-10 second kiss before we both went to sleep (or passed out). Slept in the same bed, but no sex.

    But she knows the feelings this other girl has for me because she actually introduced me as her "#1 regret"(that she never got to date me) So from there I tell myself that if I am to have any chance of furthering this relationship... I need to tell my old female friend with the crush on me... that I am not interested, nor will I ever be. So we're out at a bar, and I take her aside and tell her directly that I am interested in her friend and not her. She takes this news as well as can be expected. But what really sucked about it is that the NEW girl showed up at the bar and overheard what was said. I didn't even know that she was coming out. But what can you do? This freaks her out understandably, and launches me into the friend zone.

    So for the past month or so after a long time apart, we have been hanging out again. She loves to fish, so I take her fishing, etc... BUT the other night, she and I are at a bar alone together, and she starts sharing some pretty deep secrets... that she was in a 3 month relationship with another girl. Also shared the craziest places she's had sex (straight), that she used to attend "skin parties", that she dated a dude for 8 months and never had sex... turned out he was GAY!... and asking me to share the same stories. So, I did. So this is where the mixed signals began. I was resigned to being her friend until she starts opening a window to me about her sexual prowess, so to speak. And she doesn't mind me touching her... she asked me to give her a back massage the other night at a bar, which was a good time for me to test her boundaries, which I did. But then the end of the night comes, and all she wants to do is turn the cheek when it comes time to say goodbye.

    So how in the world do you feel out the next step? She has no problems whatsoever spending time alone with me, but she calls me a friend... I've heard her say it... once to her MOTHER on the phone. "Oh I'm down at my friend's fishing camp", etc, etc... Any advice or similar experiences would be greatly apprieciated. I've already decided to be MIA much more than before to let her know that I have my own life, which I do. I'm just wondering if the fact that she overheard me stating my intentions to her friend about HER may have poisoned the prospects. FYI, she's only known this other girl for about 6 months and I've known her for 10 years, and we always talk about our relationships, people we're interested in, etc. I just wish she hadn't walked in when this conversation was taking place. I guess time will tell.

  2. #2
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    Why don't you just ask her on a proper date, and see if she accepts? Make sure you are clear it is a date, and not two buddies hanging out.

  3. #3
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    New Orleans, Louisiana Central Business District?

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by Frasbee View Post
    New Orleans, Louisiana Central Business District?
    Haha yeah I created that with my initials at the end and realized what I had done after I registered. Oh well.

    I did tell her that I only take girls fishing that I am interested in, so either she forgot me saying that... or she just has an odd way of showing her feelings.

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