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Thread: Help please females!

  1. #1
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    Help please females!

    I've been talking to this girl online for ages now and we basically run out of things to say, She's very busy with work and college, I have all the time in the world, I've been telling her for days just to meet each other to see if we take a liking to each other, But she just moans at me for doing it saying "I'm so busy, Your lazy you do nothing all day" exc, I play a important role in my family's business, I do in fact do things, I've got no bills, no worries, I've probably got double the amount of money she's got and she works damn long hard hours, The hours i work are biased on what i choose, I don't live with my parents like she does, Damn she could even move in with me if she wanted this second, I've gave her the option of meeting me any time she chooses and still that's too much,

    It winds me up so much that i tried to end it today by saying "Right its over" I'm moving on, Not expecting any contact back from her, then she phones me later and wants to talk. I don't understand she wont meet me, but still wants to talk to me when we both have nothing to say, When she phones me it gives me Hope, It's like punishment, I feel all warm inside... then the reality storm hits and i go deep into depression.

    I could treat this girl to a live of luxury, I'd never cheat, I'd never let anyone hurt her, I'd protect her, I'd love her, I'd spoil her, I'd make her dreams happen.

    Before anyone comments (maybe she doesn't like you) If that was true she wouldn't phone me after I've tried killing what we have together, which is next to nothing,

    Please help me out with this situation Lady's, I don't know what to do?

  2. #2
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    "...I could treat this girl to a live of luxury, I'd never cheat, I'd never let anyone hurt her, I'd protect her, I'd love her, I'd spoil her, I'd make her dreams happen. ..." (emphasis added)

    You're missing a big point - SHE wants to make her own dreams come true. Your best action from either a selfish or altruistic perspective is to support her in that and be a friend.

    I know what you mean about running out of things to talk about through texts and eMail, but right now she's either not ready for the level of attention &/or commitment you're looking for. There really is nothing for you to do at the moment except move on or accept the status quo till/if she's more comfortable.

    -PP

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    could treat this girl to a live of luxury, I'd never cheat, I'd never let anyone hurt her, I'd protect her, I'd love her, I'd spoil her, I'd make her dreams happen. ...
    Talk about living in a 'fantasy' bubble.

    That statement is a bit premature and considering you have never met her. People can be very different in real life and just because you get along online, doesn't mean you will in real life - there could be a 'minus' spark. Even if you did like her, she may not feel same for you in real life. That's the risk you take and if you take it to real life.

    If you are telling her that she is the 'one', that you have never felt like this before, that you would bow to her every need and she'd never want again, that you'd never hurt her, blah, blah, blah, then she may be afraid to meet you and because she is feeling she needs to live up to this high expectation you have of her - and she knows she can't live up to it....she is HUMAN, not some Goddess that you seem to have placed on a pedestal way up in the sky.

    I think that before you start declaring this and that, etc, etc, you need to meet firstly. Your dreams of what you seem to have percieved her to be, could be sooo easily shattered.

    You need to come down to earth a lot I think.

    As for her, well like I said, she is probably scared to meet you.

    I've been in her place and the guy in my situation promised me this and that also and before we met. It was all really pathetic and because he was promisng a woman things he'd never even met!!!

    Of course none of it happened....lol

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    Quote Originally Posted by xxazurexx View Post
    Talk about living in a 'fantasy' bubble.

    That statement is a bit premature and considering you have never met her. People can be very different in real life and just because you get along online, doesn't mean you will in real life - there could be a 'minus' spark. Even if you did like her, she may not feel same for you in real life. That's the risk you take and if you take it to real life.

    If you are telling her that she is the 'one', that you have never felt like this before, that you would bow to her every need and she'd never want again, that you'd never hurt her, blah, blah, blah, then she may be afraid to meet you and because she is feeling she needs to live up to this high expectation you have of her - and she knows she can't live up to it....she is HUMAN, not some Goddess that you seem to have placed on a pedestal way up in the sky.

    I think that before you start declaring this and that, etc, etc, you need to meet firstly. Your dreams of what you seem to have percieved her to be, could be sooo easily shattered.

    You need to come down to earth a lot I think.

    As for her, well like I said, she is probably scared to meet you.

    I've been in her place and the guy in my situation promised me this and that also and before we met. It was all really pathetic and because he was promisng a woman things he'd never even met!!!

    Of course none of it happened....lol
    I'm not telling her she's the one, I'm trying to meet in person to see if we click together, And as for a fantasy world, I've not told any lies, due to the fact that i know when we meet it would cause complications and ruin everything, Yeah I'm going to tell her loads of lies then expect her to fall in love with me, Get a grip will you lady!?

    The main problem I'm having is getting her to meet me, Which we're going to spend Saturday together, if she doesn't show I'm going to move on.

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    Have you not met yet? Maybe the prospect of her moving in is too much too soon. Just try to talk to her, small talk, how was your day, etc. Things will come naturally if you are comfortable... sorry if this post was no use!
    tago embago

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mids View Post
    I'm not telling her she's the one, I'm trying to meet in person to see if we click together, And as for a fantasy world, I've not told any lies, due to the fact that i know when we meet it would cause complications and ruin everything, Yeah I'm going to tell her loads of lies then expect her to fall in love with me, Get a grip will you lady!?
    I could treat this girl to a live of luxury, I'd never cheat, I'd never let anyone hurt her, I'd protect her, I'd love her, I'd spoil her, I'd make her dreams happen.

    Isn't this ^^^^^ in so many words, telling her she is the 'one'???

    Why are you promising a woman you have never met, all of this shit??

    I'm trying to meet in person to see if we click together...
    You can meet someone in person and without having to tell them that you'd treat them to a life of luxury, that you'd never cheat, that you'd never hurt her, you'd love her, blah, blah, blah....

    You don't know her and to be able to say you can DEFINITLEY keep these promises!

    Yes you are living in a fantasy bubble.

    I think it's YOU who needs to get a grip on reality.
    Last edited by xxazurexx; 17-11-10 at 10:00 PM.

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    Get over it. Never gonna happen, she doesn't WANT it to happen she probably thinks: "more money, more problems" which in my experience, is unfortunatly very true (unless you are stuggling to even get by in which case that's obviously worse).

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    Quote Originally Posted by xxazurexx View Post
    I could treat this girl to a live of luxury, I'd never cheat, I'd never let anyone hurt her, I'd protect her, I'd love her, I'd spoil her, I'd make her dreams happen.

    Isn't this ^^^^^ in so many words, telling her she is the 'one'???

    Why are you promising a woman you have never met, all of this shit??

    You can meet someone in person and without having to tell them that you'd treat them to a life of luxury, that you'd never cheat, that you'd never hurt her, you'd love her, blah, blah, blah....

    You don't know her and to be able to say you can DEFINITLEY keep these promises!

    Yes you are living in a fantasy bubble.

    I think it's YOU who needs to get a grip on reality.
    I'm not promising a women all this shit, That's just what i wrote on the forum so idiots like you could get an idea. So once again Get a grip and climb back in your hole women!

    Also if we met in person I'm pretty damn certain we'd have other things to talk about rather then me begging a girl to stay with me lol wut, if we don't like each other we'll move on, Saturday would be "Meeting at mine - Cinema a bit later - back to mine - Out partying in town later as that's what we both like to do,
    Last edited by Mids; 18-11-10 at 05:24 AM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by girl68 View Post
    Get over it. Never gonna happen, she doesn't WANT it to happen she probably thinks: "more money, more problems" which in my experience, is unfortunatly very true (unless you are stuggling to even get by in which case that's obviously worse).
    If thats true, and she DOESN'T want it to happen, Why's she phoning me when i've tired to just move on by telling her its over, saying things like she loves me, she wants it to work, she doesn't want me to leave?
    Last edited by Mids; 18-11-10 at 05:53 AM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mids View Post
    I'm not promising a women all this shit, That's just what i wrote on the forum so idiots like you could get an idea. So once again Get a grip and climb back in your hole women!
    Resorting to insults and cuz u aint liking what you are hearing, eh Mr Hard Man....

    How old are you? 18??

    Get it thru to your thick skull...she dont want ya!! else she'd meet ya.

    If you don't like to hear truthful and honest opinions......then fck off elsewhere ya Southern ponce.
    Last edited by xxazurexx; 18-11-10 at 07:27 AM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mids View Post
    If thats true, and she DOESN'T want it to happen, Why's she phoning me when i've tired to just move on by telling her its over, saying things like she loves me, she wants it to work, she doesn't want me to leave?
    Because she's bored rigid....

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mids View Post
    If thats true, and she DOESN'T want it to happen, Why's she phoning me when i've tired to just move on by telling her its over, saying things like she loves me, she wants it to work, she doesn't want me to leave?
    Becauuuuuse the boy she actually likes pissed her off.

    This isn't even a relationship there is no love here. Kids these days...

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    You lot know nothing, I started being a dick towards her, She's now phoning me more, spending the weekend at mine, talking allot more about the future, planning events, she's fully opened up singing down the phone,

    You lot are just jealous because some 19 year old successful lad with allot of money and no worries has found a girl, The advice you lot gave was complete bollox, and the only reason your probably on this forum is to question people and tell them how bad their life's suck which you find pleasure in doing i find it highly amusing looking at other topics seeing you telling people how their relationship isn't ment to be and is doomed from the start.

    I'm the kind of guy to prove people wrong, I went from obese to muscular fit and healthy just from people making bad comments it only made me stronger, Girl68 your no one to question peoples relationships i've seen your Counselling Session blogs and it made me laugh beyond belief.

    This forum does have a few good guides though and suggestions,

    Never coming back,
    Thanks Mids.

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    I've heard this problem before. My honest analysis of the problem is that the girl in question is value driven. She works hard and works long hours and wants a male whose values are in line with hers. Basically she is looking for someone a little like herself. She may grow out of it, but she is going to need a little help. You may be a different type of guy or even person that she is used to getting close to. My advice, figure out some other things she values ands see if you measure up and those respects. If you find that you do, point it out to her. You are going to have to impress this girl and give her a reason to meet you other than just enjoying your talks. She's a serious one.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mids View Post
    You lot are just jealous because some 19 year old successful lad with allot of money and no worries has found a girl, The advice you lot gave was complete bollox, and the only reason your probably on this forum is to question people and tell them how bad their life's suck which you find pleasure in doing i find it highly amusing looking at other topics seeing you telling people how their relationship isn't ment to be and is doomed from the start.
    Just as I suspected, a 19 year old guy who thinks he knows it all....

    The advice that you recieved here is coming from 'experienced', 'mature' and 'wise' people who have been on this planet a damn sight longer than you have and they have far more experience with life and opposite sex relationships than you have, therefore are eligible and to give opinions and advice based upon their own experiences. We can see the 'red flags' and because we have been there ourselves.....we can see when things do not look right and when things look promising. While the storyline to every situation is different, they for the majority, with exceptions end up turning out the same way. And in your situation you have a female you met online, who won't and has refused to meet you time and time again and you refuse to see what is clearly in front of you and because she will call you....

    Have you ever heard the saying 'ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS'.....

    If you meant anything to this girl, she wouldn't just be calling and telling you a few sweet words....she'd want to MEET you and she would meet you!!!....PERIOD!

    My main concern with you, is that you seem to think this girl is the 'one' and without ever having met her in real life. How can we possibly know and if someone is the 'one' and if we have never met them? You said that you would care for her, never hurt her, give her a life of luxury, etc, etc.....all without knowing who she really is and I find it ridiculous that someone can say all that and promise all that and without ever having met anyone. But if you think it's normal.....get on with it.

    But whatever.... If you don't like to hear the truth and honest opinions, which a lot of people don't and because they can't face the 'reality' of a situation- ......then forums aren't for you.

    Like the majority of us did, you refuse to listen to good and wise advice from your elders who have been there and you will end up learning the hard way.

    Advice isn't given because we are jealous (which was a pretty immature response on your part btw)...it is given to try and help you and to stop you making the same mistakes some of us did....even if it is harsh at times - some people need a 'wake up' call...We are here because we care about others, not to put people down.

    Good Luck!
    Last edited by xxazurexx; 18-11-10 at 10:59 PM.

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