Sex on the first date?

[Maple1714]

I think if "it's" there then it's there...no matter when you have sex. And I agree with Haxan...it's usually not the first encounter you have with the person on the first date...unless its a blind date.

Also, women just have to be careful when selecting who they sleep with. I think if you are smart and if you listen to your intuition then it's ok to have sex with some men right away. I waited a few months to sleep with this one guy I dated...and he was a douche. I should have just had sex with him right away and then dumped him...lol. I really don't think it matters. Time is just an illusion...

[toknow]

There are exceptions, but most of the time this is saying you are easy. And no man who has respect for himself will, or should take you seriously. Just have someone to scratch each other's itch - I wouldn't call it a relationship.

But, by not doing it just because you might seem easy, you are making it harder for him to figure you out (if this is what you do normally - if you are in actuality easy) which he will find out eventually, but it will waste both of your time.

[oldskool83]

i did it before, seen the girl maybe 2 weeks, basicly there was no thrill anymore. with in 15 mins of meeting her i was humping her, i kinda wished i didnt hell i didnt even really like her much.

normaly if i wait like 3-4 weeks get to know them and see if they are dogshit or not im more attracted to them and kinda know if they are on birthcontrol or all that jazz and problems ya know. i dont mind humping but im pretty tired the same process ot meet hump get a new one.

[haxan]

It's not like it's something people do on every first date. What I'm saying and I think Maple agrees, is that there might be a time when everything is just right, magical, the planets are in alignment, the moon full, whatever the case may be. Sometimes in life you have to go with it, not plot out every move. Ride it out (literally) :-) You might be surprised where it takes you.

All in all, whether you wait or not, it has no bearing on the length of the relationship. If a guy viewed you as a piece of ass and you didn't put out on the first date or two, he's not going to see you again anyway (so no LTR). A guy could see you as marriage material, wait 3 months and when you become intimate there may be something that turns him off about you (so no LTR).

It's all about the people involved, not the time when anything takes place.

[bulrush]

Sex on the first date is fine with me if we have clear chemistry and as long as the girl is up front about what she wants. If I see she is being realistic about the relationship (we really can't predict what will happen with us) that's good. So, sex on a first date shows me she has confidence, and that's what I'm looking for.

As far as my actual experience, I met a very nice woman, we had sex on the first date, and dated for 6 months. But it was LDR and we broke up and are still friends. We both think the other is amazing, but we both realize the distance is a problem and neither of us can move.

My view: i don't judge people who have sex on the first date.

[toknow]

Bulrush, you have a very loose definition of a relationship (pun very much intended). But, that's your view on it and that's the relationship you will get.

There are exceptions, but saying sex on first date is fine, isn't a good base for a relationship.

[bulrush]

Dating for 6 months isn't a relationship to you?

[Boisdevie]

There are exceptions, but saying sex on first date is fine, isn't a good base for a relationship.

Why not? Justify what you've said. Otherwise it's just another of your bullshit opinions.

[IndiReloaded]

Why not? Justify what you've said. Otherwise it's just another of your bullshit opinions.

Here's one reason:

For some people, sex is an intimate physical form of expressing an emotional connection. Only unhealthy people with poor boundaries get immediately emotionally connected to a stranger.

I'd be interested to see some stats on 'successful relationships' and time to having first sex.

[Boisdevie]

Only unhealthy people with poor boundaries get immediately emotionally connected to a stranger.

I so love your use of the word 'unhealthy'. Makes us sound kind of unclean or sick doesn't it?

Sometimes making love to someone helps to get emotionally connected. And if it's between consenting adults why the hell not.

[toknow]

Why not? Justify what you've said. Otherwise it's just another of your bullshit opinions.

Do you need me to translate it for you.

[Boisdevie]

Do you need me to translate it for you.

Yes please. Into French.

[toknow]

Hahah...so naive...that was a rhetorical question.

[haxan]

Here's one reason:

For some people, sex is an intimate physical form of expressing an emotional connection. Only unhealthy people with poor boundaries get immediately emotionally connected to a stranger.

I'd be interested to see some stats on 'successful relationships' and time to having first sex.

I agree about the emotional connection (at least for making better sex). For some it's emotional, for some it's just a release, even in a marriage. ~But~ I'd venture to say that a very high percentage of adult relationships result in sex within a month, probably a bit less. Not many people waiting 6 months, 1 year. I think you'd agree with that.

How much of an emotional connection do you have in a month? In 2 months? In 3? A bit more than a first date of course, but honestly I doubt you have a significant emotional attachment at that point. If so, I'd question your personality as being a bit dependent and would say you're in for a lot of devastating, emotional breakups at the 3-4 month mark when people see the everyday person, the good and the bad, not just the good, and tend to become bored or disinterested.

I think it's just the perception that you know the person better at that point, perhaps trust them more, so if you have sex, there's a better chance for the LTR. I just don't think that's the case. It's a roll of the dice.

[haxan]

btw, what's with the DEAD status? Goth 'is' kind of sexy, but that's a bit much