He's threatening to throw my stuff out.

**Swan** · 20-09-09, 01:18 AM

Alright so I'm sure many of you find it difficult to keep on top of every chore and you try but it often becomes a big mess again.
We're trying to get the hang of it, but whenever I clean he doesn't do anything and if he cleans a little bit he expects everything I own to be spotless.
It's gotten to a point where today he goes
"I'm not repeating this, if I ever find any more of your stuff lying around, I'm treating it as garbage and throwing it out."
and I told him it's mine, and I just started a second job, so I'm falling behind a little, but either way It's my stuff, and he can't touch it and I'm trying to take care of it and, well, he really doesn't care. It's going in the garbage.

I told him if he throws ANY of my stuff out then I can't trust him and I'm moving out. Sooooo.....
Opinions?? Lol.
I know I need to get the hang of picking things up as I go along and keeping them in their proper place but the problem is that we don't have shelves or any proper places to put them yet so it makes it really difficult to organize.
And he should get in habit of not leaving his own sh** everywhere too!

**Junket** · 20-09-09, 01:24 AM

Is it his place?

**chump4u** · 20-09-09, 04:11 AM

When he throws your stuff out, he must be careful to leave some room in the trash can, because he's going in there, too.

**FullofSighs** · 20-09-09, 04:15 AM

Leave him! you don't need to put up with that, if he truly loved you that much, he would be helping you to pick up, especially cuz you have two jobs. Or you can tell him to get 2 or 3 jobs and you can stay at home, maybe then he wont be like that anymore!

**Junket** · 20-09-09, 04:44 AM

If he owns the house, or the rent is only in his name, he can run his home the way he wants.

She has no right to dictate what he does with home, but she does have plenty of say in whether or not she wants to bother with the relationship, anymore.

**FullofSighs** · 20-09-09, 05:52 AM

Thats not true, even if he is paying the rent, he still shouldve had some idea of how the chore thing is gunna be, so he should be taking most of the responsibility

**Swan** · 20-09-09, 08:02 AM

we share an appartment, we both pay rent, and the place is equally both of ours.
I had to rush to work about a half hour after I posted and I did a little cleaning and when I was leaving he was walking back to the building with a cigar and I told him that I had to go to work, I'll do some more cleaning when I get back,
... and he smiles and tells me not to worry about it, he was saying that stuff cause he hasn't had a smoke....

K I can't deal with bipolar blame games, what the hell.
I can't even tell you how pissed off I am with this.

**vashti** · 20-09-09, 08:06 AM

how sloppy are you, anyway? and is the mess contained in one area?

**Swan** · 20-09-09, 08:12 AM

Originally Posted by vashti

how sloppy are you, anyway? and is the mess contained in one area?

yeah, my stuff stays in a corner of the livingroom.

**vashti** · 20-09-09, 09:15 AM

Is he neurotic, or does he have a valid point? I ask because most men can overlook quite a lot.... it seems like the amount of mess may have risen to the level of absurdity if he is actually complaining about it. If that is the case, then jeez! get it together! No one wants to live in a pig sty.

**Swan** · 20-09-09, 10:43 AM

Originally Posted by vashti

Is he neurotic, or does he have a valid point? I ask because most men can overlook quite a lot.... it seems like the amount of mess may have risen to the level of absurdity if he is actually complaining about it. If that is the case, then jeez! get it together! No one wants to live in a pig sty.

Well he seems to have no problem ending the relationship if our chore habits don't change, and it's good for me anyway to fix my own habits. My point is that HE doesn't get it together. He makes all these agreements and chore plans and I start off sticking to them and then he doesn't live up to his side and I give up and eventually we start arguing about it not working. I don't know.
I'll just stick to my crap and do what I can to keep my part together so that he has no ammo.. but... I don't know, he's been throwing complaints about other things too... stupid stuff like tonight I made a sandwich and he got all bitchy about the fact that I didn't offer him one, when I saw him eating the exact same type of sandwich 15min before I made mine...and he tried to deny it until I specifically described him eating it and he goes "oh."
just stuff like that.

I'll do what I can for my part, but every week I'm finding his company less and less enjoyable and it just feels like he doesn't give a damn about me.
I don't think we're going to last.

**SAVANAH** · 21-09-09, 09:12 PM

Maybe you both are just feeling a bit crowded, Ive seen it before and space usually helps, maybe you could go visit family for a while, even if it's just a weekend, don't tell him it's space he might get worried, have some time alone and see how things goes from there, can see you two are beccoming irritated with one another but it doesn't mean you are not meant to be or you don't love each other ect.. it happens everyday in relationships, try the space... before things get worst and more drastic solutions need to be thought of... good luck

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