I am afraid I will die alone. Help Please!

[brokenheart20]

I don't seem to be able to get a girlfriend, I don't know what's wrong with me, no one seems to ever be interested in me. I am a 21 year old guy and I have only had one girlfriend so far, back then when I was a teenager, I paid no mind to the fact that I did not have a girlfriend, I thought I'd eventually get one but time is not on my side, I am getting older and still single.

I don't think it has anything to do with looks, I am an average looking guy, but I've seen pretty ugly guys with pretty women, I wonder what attributes do they have of which I totally lack. I am interested in a girl who sits next to me in class but she never talks to me, even though I've tried starting a conversation with her on several occasions.I wasn't creepy or anything. But yet she can go through the whole class without so much as looking at me.

She's only interested in listening to her Ipod or texting people with her cellphone.It's like she'd rather talk to someone who is an hour away from her, on the other side of town, than talk to someone who's right beside her.It's like women are getting colder. I can't even make a friendship with her . Plus I don't know where else I could find a girl for me. How come some guys can get girlfriends, everyone I know have girlfriends I am tired of being single and this feeling of self defeat. I am not that shy at least not so shy that I can't talk to girls but I don't know what I am doing wrong.

[MerryH]

You didn't really tell us what you're doing when you talk to girls, so we can't help you there.

The girl in your class is giving strong signals that she doesn't want to talk to you or anyone else in the class. Could be many reasons. Maybe she has a boyfriend. Or maybe you were creepy and didn't know it. Either way, forget about her.

If an ugly guy scores a pretty girl, there's something about him that is attractive. It might be charisma, kindness, humor, money, etc. If there's nothing particularly attractive about you, then you're never going to get a girl's attention.

[brokenheart20]

this girl and I are both enrolled in the same course in university. so the only thing i did was talk to her about the course and talk about career. I didn't hit on her or anything nor did i act flirty or show any signs that I am interested.
I don't know if she has a boyfriend or not. It wouldn't surprise me if she did because she's hot. thanks for the answer.

[jb1111983]

Mate, you sound so desperate. Now believe it or not girls can tell a desperate bloke and usually avoid them. That to me could be one of your problems.
I suppose there must be something you're really good at, right? Work on that thing a bit more. That could get you some female attention. Once you know you've someone's attention and if you like her try to get to know her better. Are you a good listener? If not work on it. Girls love to talk if they know someone's interested in what they have to say. Once that happens they'd like to see you more to talk. You have some chance with this one. It usually works for me. But maybe that's just me.
I was a shy guy, still am. Back in high school I was hopeless when it came to the dating game. I wasn't a great talker or listener. Being an introvert I found it hard to express my feelings. words remained unspoken. I had a gf but that was cuz she really liked me and initiated a lot of things. Well when I turned 21 I decided I won't make my past mistakes and would be expressive to a girl I like even if it's just a crush. Then I went on to discover that most girls find me romantic, charming, funny (this suprised me cuz I think I have a weird sense of humor), etc. They'd look into my eyes and tell me they never knew this side of me. Well I think I was good at making them feel very special with the way I'd treat them. My friends think I'm very lucky because all my girlfriends are very pretty, the kind you don't wanna take your eyes off! and I'm a pretty average looking man. Not many girls fall for me at first right. Always takes time for me. But I get there. Doesn't mean I never get turned down. That shit happens! lol

[hello1]

You are only twenty one years old. Oh yeah if you are not much of a looker, maybe you should lower your standards. Typical man, whatever he looks like he wants to get with a hot girl out of his league.

[Yet another guy]

Now believe it or not girls can tell a desperate bloke and usually avoid them.

Now, there's an interesting polarity between guys and girls. I think most guys would love to date a girl who would do anything to be with them. At least I would.

[Looq]

Now, there's an interesting polarity between guys and girls. I think most guys would love to date a girl who would do anything to be with them. At least I would.

That made me laugh.

My advice to brokenheart20 is this: First of all stop worrying, your 21. I have a friend at university who is 28, still lives with his parents, has no independence from then (even when he stays at university - they only live down the road, he only stay at uni when he has too, he takes all his washing home for his mum to do and they buy him all his food), he is also an active DnD player. He is most certainly a virgin and has never had a girlfriend.

If you want advice I would suggest you stop worrying about about it (because jb1111983 is right). You need to find confidence and project it. A great sense of humour will also get you far. For most it's more about who you are than what you look like. Think about it. Would you rather spend you day with a girl that looks hot but has nothing else going for her, or with an average looking girl that's fun to be around, who makes you laugh. I'm not saying that you should try and find the ugliest person at university and try and get your leg over =P, just try and figure out what it is you truly want into someone else.

hello1 is also right. You're essentially jumping in at the deep end. I'm not saying it wont happen, it just probably wont. This girl is clearly not interested either. Forget about her. You want to find someone, then stop looking in your own backyard (or the seat next to yours) and go and actually find someone. Go to social places with your mates, places with activities you enjoy doing, your bound to find someone with interests similar to yours. Find an excuse to start a conversation, then when you have to leave say something like "It's not often that I meet someone one new with similar interests, mind if I add you on facebook." or whatever makes you feel comfortable, and just take it from there.

[devonbrown]

Just some facts and then an opinion or two:

- You are 21. That is still QUITE young.
- You have had success with girls before. You said yourself you had a girlfriend in your teens.
- The actions of one girl in your class do not speak for everyone everywhere.

Now for my opinions:

- You say that you have a feeling of self-defeat. That is a major problem. Confidence. Confidence. Confidence. Confidence makes a cute person look cuter. Confidence makes a funny person seem funnier. You need to have confidence in yourself first. Love yourself first then others will love you.
- You sound lonely. Everyone gets lonely. Why don't you try to get involved in more activities, things that you like. Meeting people with similar interests expands your pool of dating prospects greatly. You are young and at university. Take advantage of the fact that there are tons of people there who like similar things that you do.
- Don't focus everything on one girl.
- If you are really that in need of romance, why don't you try an online dating site. They take away a lot of the uncertainties at first, because everyone is there looking for one thing - a dating partner.

And finally this - relax. There is nothing wrong with you. The right person just hasn't made herself known to you yet.

Good luck.

[VincenzoG91]

"Everyone dies alone." -- Malcolm Reynolds

[cosmoask]

my first bf was at 22 u will get ur gf (soulmate) when u least expect. my advice if u want to attract a woman make her laugh a lot seriously

[Petit Papillon]

You. ARE. 21!! I'm not even thinking about dying and I won't for the next 40 years I think . You are desperate and girls feels it . Be cool and eventually you'll find someone . And about that girl in your class. You're like my brother , you want something that is obviously not meant to be yours . Why won't you just look around for more available girls ? She's clearly not interested in you so don't be a creep ,because other girls will see it and will treat you like creep too. I have in my spanish class a guy like this. We barely talk during the class and he proposed to me holidays together in Spain . I was like wtf ? And then he has sent me a message to wish me happy holidays and that he can't wait for the classes after holidays . Wtf? That creeps me out and if you act the same, she must be creeped out too Be cool and try maybe with other girls . Good luck.