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Thread: Uncertain about fate of relationship

  1. #1
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    Uncertain about fate of relationship

    Hi I was wondering if anyone could help me with my situation. It's nothing really serious, but for some reason it keeps on upsetting me. I just want to know if I have a right to be upset or am I just being a dick.

    Anyway here is my problem.

    I have been dating my girlfriend for just about two years now and for the last 6-8months, it seems we have fallen in a rut (at least I think so, she doesn't want to talk about it). There is barely any intimacy left between us it feels like. When we first started going out, there was so much sex that I actually had to take a couple nights off because I couldn't keep up (funny for a guy to say, but I take medication for my heart that sometimes makes me tired and not in the "mood"). Things were going great for the first year or so until sex became rarer and rarer. I know it's natural for things to cool down in relationships as years go by, but in my opinion its gone beyond that point. Its come to the point where I almost have to beg for it. Up until a couple weeks ago, we hadn't had sex for almost two months. I don't know what to do. Every time I bring it up, she turns it around and makes me sound like some horn dog prick or tells me that I should just dump her. From my point of view, having sex at least once a week doesn't seem that ridiculous to ask (especially when I'm only 20 years old for **** sakes). As far as I know, its not that I'm bad at sex, I can usually make her orgasm (she doesn't really know how to fake it, so I can tell if I am being sloppy). I love her more than I have ever loved someone, and she really is a great girl. I just feel sometimes that she doesn't reciprocate the feeling. She hates hugging or kissing most of the time, and won't let me touch her when were going to bed.

    I am at my wits end right now. I don't know if I am in the right or wrong, but I don't think I can go on like this anymore. Every time I hear her make an excuse about why she isn't in the mood, it makes me sick to my stomach. Recently, its been putting me into a depression, something that I haven't dealt with in nearly two years. I love my girlfriend dearly, but I don't know if I can continue like this.

    Help.

  2. #2
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    Quote Originally Posted by Easycompany View Post
    Every time I bring it up, she turns it around and makes me sound like some horn dog prick or tells me that I should just dump her. From my point of view, having sex at least once a week doesn't seem that ridiculous to ask
    What are her reasons for this? She is in pain? Too much stress? Genuine sex drive mismatch?
    Don't cry, don't regret and don't blame
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    God or the Devil
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  3. #3
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    She has so many, I don't know where to start. If its in the morning, she says she has to get ready, even if she's not going anywhere. If its the afternoon, she'll say to wait until later. If its at night, she will say she's tired. Her responses vary from time to time, but her core ones are "later" and "too tired". The only legitimate one she has is when she gets migraines, which is easy to understand. Even then though, I feel like she fakes her migraines sometimes so she doesn't have to deal with me. Whatever her reason, it really gets me down. I've thought about the sexual mismatch reason before, but then I think about the times when she wanted to have sex more than I could handle. I don't know, I'm just really confused right now.

  4. #4
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    Is she taking birth control pills or anti-depressant medication? They both can have a negative impact on libido.

    BTW - men can't tell if a woman is faking an orgasm.

  5. #5
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    first of all.. do you do things with her.. like taking her out and trying to have fun besides being in the bedroom or at home. Cos maybe the relationship is getting boring. If NO.. then try doing things with her that you can afford. Go out to eat, watch movies, take walks and so on.... also ask her what she needs that you can do, to help make the relationship better. Tell her how you feel so much love for her.. be manly about it, no need to wuss and cry now .. and let her know that if she wants to move on, then you guys should let go, cos u are hurting... If she doesnt give u an answer or says we talk about it later.. BREAK UP WITH HER INSTANTLY ON THE SPOT.

    If "YES" you already do fun things.. then still tell her how you feel.. If she is NOT responding or saying what she wants from u that same day you bring up the topic.. then you have to let go buddy. The faster you do it, the better.. Because it will happen sooner or later if she cant tell you what is wrong.

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by Easycompany View Post
    Every time I bring it up, she turns it around and makes me sound like some horn dog prick or tells me that I should just dump her.
    Maybe you should take her up on that. If it were just actual sex she wasn't in the mood for, i would say you should try to help her figure out what's wrong, but it sounds like she's just not affectionate at all with you, ever.

    That tells me that she doesn't even like you much, Easy. Please tell me what makes her such a "great girl". She sounds like a total drag to me.
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