I'll summarize what has worked for me. I'm a guy.
1. I'm very confident. I do internet dating and I'll usually let the woman message me first. After all, they need to have a minimum of confidence before I'll date them. Once they have messaged me I take the wheel and guide things from there. I talk to them online a few times, then talk to them on the phone a few times just to make sure they're not crazy. I do tell them about my bedroom habits right before I ask them out. I love sex and I tell them that sex will be part of our relationship. I don't ask. I don't want to waste time if the girl is uptight about sex. I don't expect sex on the first 2 dates, after that, anything is possible. I also don't want a one-night stand, and I tell them this in several conversations. I want a long-term relationship. Very important.
Then if all goes well I'll ask them out.
2. We go on a date, usually a quiet restaurant, because I want to get to know them. Depending on their mood I might try to flirt with them, and see how they react. If they don't object, that's a good sign. I might caress their arm, or hold their hand and see how if they like it. (NOTE: chain restaurants like TGIF and Chili's are usually very noisy. I avoid those. I prefer tiny "hole in the wall" restaurants.)
3. I'm also a pretty good communicator and I expect my dates to be the same. I tell them that is one of the things I"m looking for. If they can't talk about sex, then we do not have a future.
4. On the first date I might mention if they want to go to my place. If they want to, we go, and talk some more, maybe kiss, maybe more. If they stop me at a certain point, I respect that. If I like them, I tell them that and I tell them WHY I like them. Women like to hear that. In general, they only like to hear they are pretty sometimes. Not all the time.
In my dating this year I have dated a few people, and I have found wonderful people that I like. The dates went very well and we all had a good time. But that's because I took charge, and took a chance by doing things, like taking their shirt off, or something.
Last edited by bulrush; 06-10-11 at 05:55 AM.
I have a long time interest in psychology, specializing in relationship dynamics for 30 years.
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