So Confused With How I Feel

[d00y00]

Me and my girlfriend of 2 years broke up 3 months ago. We broke up because it just wasnt working at the time, we were arguing loads and just werent getting on aswell. Also, It is both of our first relationships (I was 15 when we started dating), and at the end of the relationship i had simply got too comfortable, and was curious about other girls, especially sexually. I knew everything there was to know about my girlfriend, and it was just so comfortable, we did the same things all the time, and there wasnt that spark. Also, the sex had become boring, and i wasnt that sexually attracted, because i was so used to it. I couldnt help (being a young guy) looking at other girls and craving them purely on a sexual level. Me and my girlfriend were so close, and grew up together, and were there for each other through a lot of hard times. At the end it didnt feel so much like she was my girlfriend, but more my best friend. Being a young guy, i wanted to get out there and live,, because i was scared of how comfortable and best friend like this relationship felt. I didnt think i would ever settle for one girl, as i thought i would always be curious.

3 months after the breakup, and i still think it was for the best. But i still cant help feeling a closeness to my ex. Not even on sexual or relationship level, just as a best friend. We still hang out as friends and we get on so well. She means a lot to me and i love seeing her happy (which she isnt very often at the moment, because she wants me back). I feel as though we would work in the short term as boyfriend and girlfriend, but in the long term i would go back to feeling too comfortable, and craving new girls.

I always think if i had met her a few years later in my life, things could be so different.

I guess what i need now is some reassurance that the way im feeling is normal, and doesnt mean i should consider getting back together with her. I cant help missing her when im alone, just because we were so close and like best friends. But at the same time i dont crave her sexually, and i like the thought of seeing new girls. I just need reassurance that moving on is the best thing, and that im not making a big mistake.

[MerryH]

I guess what i need now is some reassurance that the way im feeling is normal, and doesnt mean i should consider getting back together with her. I cant help missing her when im alone, just because we were so close and like best friends. But at the same time i dont crave her sexually, and i like the thought of seeing new girls. I just need reassurance that moving on is the best thing, and that im not making a big mistake.

You're not making a mistake. You know that you wouldn't be happy with her long-term, so there's no point in trying. That would just cause more pain. For being so young and presumably inexperienced, you were able to articulate pretty well the reasons why you don't think it will work, and in doing that you made a very strong case against getting back with her. So you're right. And she deserves someone who will find her exciting, anyway.

Also, since she still wants to get back together with you, please consider cutting all contact with her for a good amount of time (maybe forever.) You may inadvertently be giving her hope or keeping her from moving on. And since you're considering dating around, it will probably be incredibly painful for her to see that happening. So for her own good, maybe you really distance yourself now.

[Boisdevie]

Your feelings are completely normal.