Please read and help me..

[The1]

Hi everybody

first of all i want to say sorry for my bad english, i am from europe

i had a long distance relationsship with my girlfriend of about thousand km

after 11 months ähm it was everyday the same.. and there was the question of getting togheter

but she had to finish her >.< school? --> job ähm just say, she must finish her carriere

she promised her parents to make it at her county

and than we had few days many stres, cause i said she is a bit egoistic

she said: ok i will change

and soooo the next days she was so differently

and than she said: she dont know wheter she could manage our long-dist. relationsheep for 2-3 years
cause she wants more to be near

so i said: decide, and please dont let me 4 month later alone with this argument

and she said: k so its over..

i was shoked and very sad... i promised me not to cry, but at night i did

2 days long i tried to talk to her
than i said: after 2 months let us talk again k?
she said: k but if i am at these day not on, so i dont want to talk to you or there was some problem to get on

so i got 2 months... i am going fitness, sport, frirends etc. and i miss her..

how can i get her professionally back?

thx for reading and sorry for my bad english =)

[nerdy_guy]

Long distance relationship is very difficult if both people are not willing to work hard for it. In this case, only you are willing. She is not. If she continues this relationship with you, she just might cheat on you if she gets bored. You should leave her and look for someone else.

[Bella82]

Nerdy guy is right, if both of you are not completely willing and committed to making your relationship work, I think you have your answer. You don't want to be with someone who doesn't care enough about you and the relationship to stay together - you want someone who will fight for it because it is important!

I know it's a hard thing to hear, that your partner doesn't want to try to make it work, but the sooner you move on, the sooner you can get your life back in order and be happy.

[kitkitkitty]

yep, nerdy_guy is right. if she stays in it, i think it'll be to please you more than anything and could end up cheating on you. long distance is tricky even for 2 people who want to make it work... paranoia and insecurities creep in even if you don't mean for them to so you both need to be emotionally strong. i honestly think you should let this one go. if you love her, you'll want her to be happy and not make her feel like she's being unwillingly chained to you.

[The1]

is there no chance?

nobody has any strategy?

[kitkitkitty]

you can't force someone to stay with you and if you end up doing so, she'll end up being miserable. if you let go of her you won't be seen as weak/ someone who's given up, you'll be seen as someone who cares greatly for this girls needs.

[valentinekitty]

I am sorry to hear about your situation. I am currently in a long distance relationship and have been for 2 years. From my experience it has not been easy, but I know without doubt that it is worth it and I am lucky to be able to say that my significant other feels the same.

We have been through lots of difficulties, we have had our arguments and we have had more than our fair share of tears, but through it all we have been 100% for each other. We have discussed what we wanted from the relationship and we have been of the same mind about what we needed and when we would be together.

If she is willing then it would probably be worth having an honest conversation about what you both want / need and what is possible. How often do you want to talk / type / text / email? How often do you want to visit each other? When do you want to be together for good and how possible is that? What are the difficulties that you would need to face (e.g. her parents attitude)?

If she won't have this conversation, or you discover from asking these questions that you want / need different things, then I would suggest you might be fighting a loosing battle and cutting ties now may save you future heartache and let you begin the healing process sooner.

If you can have this conversation and you want the same things and are willing to tackle any challenges together, then stop fighting each other, support each other and trust that you will get there and when you do you will be stronger for it. And most of all, never stop communicating, especially as a punishment when one of you does something the other doesn't like. That is one of the most destructive things you can do in an LDR.

Whatever comes for you I wish you happiness.

With great love,

Kitty
x

[kitkitkitty]

We have been through lots of difficulties, we have had our arguments and we have had more than our fair share of tears, but through it all we have been 100% for each other. We have discussed what we wanted from the relationship and we have been of the same mind about what we needed and when we would be together.

i think this is the problem that he has- he's the one holding on and she's letting go bit by bit.
but good advice [from one kitty to another ]