Boyfriend thinks sex is the only major thing in our relationship?

[GagaRoma]

Recently my boyfriend has explained to me how he wants to go out with me more on dates and to “get to know me more”. I’ve been with him for almost 15 months and we didn’t have sex until 9 months into our relationship, so it’s not like it’s an incredibly old aspect of our relationship. He feels as if sex is the only major thing we do in our relationship now and he is getting bored of just the same routine of sex, tv/movies and food. He said to me that we should “turn it down a notch” and only have sex occasionally now. He said he doesn’t want to have sex all the time like we used to and that one time is enough. He said how anything after more than once is a waste of time, apparently, and takes away time from when we could be doing other things. I feel like it’s sweet he wants to go out on more dates but I never had objected to going out. In fact, a month or two ago I suggested that we go on more dates! Now it’s like he finally sees that we should go out more as well. He was blaming me as if it was my problem or fault because he said I always “decline” the offer when he suggests things, it’s not all the time I do, and he doesn’t always ask or plan something. So I feel like it’s both our faults. But I feel so awful that he feels like the only major thing in our relationship and that all we do is have sex and that it’s exclusively the only exciting thing we have/do together right now. I never thought sex was an issue in our relationship though or like it was too much. We would have sex once when we’d be together and sometimes maybe even twice that same day when we would hang out. He wants to feel more emotionally connected and essentially cut back on sex. I feel like we should go on dates as well and have fun in other ways and connect, but I also didn’t and don’t want that to effect our sex life. Is it selfish to feel that way? I want him to be happy, but I also want to be happy as well emotionally and physically. I always thought my boyfriend and I had the same sex drive. Lately I feel like the passion isn’t really there when we do have sex. I feel like I’m more into him than he is with me. I don’t feel as wanted by him or as if he is as interested or that he appreciates me anymore or cares. He is saying it’s not me. I don’t really know what to do. Any advice? What do you think it is that made my boyfriend all the sudden feel this way? Do you think he is losing interest? What should I do?

[rafterman]

How old is he?

[GagaRoma]

He is 17. I'm 18.

[sadie_genie]

Bring more personality and playfulness into the relationship. Sex can get boring if it is the same thing all the time.

[GagaRoma]

And I think that's what's happening. I asked him if he's getting tired or bored with sex and he said to me that "I think it is nearly impossible to become tired of sex". But I honestly do think there needs to be more playfulness. I don't feel like there has been a lot of foreplay or flirting or anything like that in a while. It's seemed like lately we've just went straight for it. So it doesn't feel the same. and I don't feel like he's as interested. I feel like before he'd care more about making me feel good too and now it's like he isn't concerned if I am not satisfied. I want it to be more passionate again and I want him to also be interested in it like he once had been. I don't want him to feel like sex is all we do. So I think adding more dates would help that part.

[rafterman]

Yeah get freaky with him. Tie him up and all that jazz.

[GagaRoma]

You guys are geniuses, it worked! More foreplay and just doing more things like going out more really helps. If anything it's more passionate and fun than it ever has been.

[rafterman]

You guys are geniuses, it worked! More foreplay and just doing more things like going out more really helps. If anything it's more passionate and fun than it ever has been.

That's awesome news. Its good too see that our time spent bashing on a keyboard has helped. I guess thats what we're here for! Thankyou for the feedback

Rafterman
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