+ Follow This Topic
Results 1 to 11 of 11

Thread: Advise please!

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Posts
    2

    Advise please!

    Hi

    Well my fiance's best mate/best man who we are pretty close with has been with his girlfriend for about 3 1/2 years and so iv become pretty good friends with her over that time, anyway the mate has been cheating on her lately and my fiance told me about it but "im not meant to know" i feel really really bad and guilty that i know when i see her, what do i do? stay quiet for the sake of my fiance and his best mate? or tell her? i know if i was her i would want to know.
    i feel so guilty, but i know that the mate isnt happy in his relationship either. duz any1 have any advise?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Gender
    Female
    Posts
    2,236
    I don't know what I would do. I have never been in that situation. I would probably give hints and tell her to keep her eyes open because you suspect something. It's up to you. Some people just stay out of the business.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Posts
    12
    Quote Originally Posted by mandy27 View Post
    Hi

    Well my fiance's best mate/best man who we are pretty close with has been with his girlfriend for about 3 1/2 years and so iv become pretty good friends with her over that time, anyway the mate has been cheating on her lately and my fiance told me about it but "im not meant to know" i feel really really bad and guilty that i know when i see her, what do i do? stay quiet for the sake of my fiance and his best mate? or tell her? i know if i was her i would want to know.
    i feel so guilty, but i know that the mate isnt happy in his relationship either. duz any1 have any advise?

    I wouldn't do a thing. Let nature takes its course. Keep your nose out would be my advice

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Gender
    Male
    Posts
    3,933
    Quote Originally Posted by Toby View Post
    I wouldn't do a thing. Let nature takes its course. Keep your nose out would be my advice
    Don't listen to Toby. He's a cheater himself... married and ****ing another woman.

    OP, the problem that you have in this situation is that if you tell her, your fiance will get it from his best friend. If I were you, I'd try to set it up to where she caught him so neither you or your fiance could be shown as having told on him. If it were me, I'd want to know.

    Also, I don't understand why so many people stay in relationships they don't want to be in only to cheat... if he isn't happy, why doesn't he leave?

  5. #5
    bluesummer's Avatar
    bluesummer is offline Whatever.
    Country:
    Users Country Flag
    "Hot Love Pancake(s)"
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    Gender
    Female
    Location
    Kelowna, BC
    Posts
    4,410
    Quote Originally Posted by Cain View Post
    Also, I don't understand why so many people stay in relationships they don't want to be in only to cheat... if he isn't happy, why doesn't he leave?
    I never understood this either. You don't have to make the other person feel like crap just because you're unhappy. It's so selfish.

    This girl needs to find out somehow, but obviously you can't tell her outright. Like Cain said, you need to somehow set it up so he gets caught and she finds out on her own.

    I think it was unfair of your bf to tell you something like that, and then expect you not to want to tell her.
    Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever. - Mohandas Gandhi

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Gender
    Male
    Posts
    3,933
    Quote Originally Posted by bluesummer View Post
    I think it was unfair of your bf to tell you something like that, and then expect you not to want to tell her.
    Especially because she is a good friend of hers.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Gender
    Female
    Posts
    480
    OP: if you wd like to spill the beans, which I 'd have done myself as i hate others or myself being misled or cheated/lied upon in any situation, just be ready to lose ur relation with ur friend. She might feel bad and stay away from all of you. Seeing u will remind her of such a cheat while u have not helped in that at all.. but it might go this way.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Posts
    2

    thanks

    yea, thanks guys, i think "she will find out herself"

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    Aussie Aussie Aussie
    Posts
    7,061
    What are you fiance's views on this cheating? Does he justify it? If not has he raised his opposition to his friend? Just out of curiousity.

    I think it's a good sign that your fiance told you this, it means the level of trust in your relationship is good.
    Don't cry, don't regret and don't blame
    Weak find the whip, willing find freedom
    Towards the sun, carry your name
    In warm hands you are given
    Ask the wind for the way
    Uncertainty's gone, your path will unravel
    Accept all as it is and do not blame
    God or the Devil
    ~Born to Live - Mavrik~

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Gender
    Male
    Posts
    3,933
    Quote Originally Posted by Mishanya View Post
    What are you fiance's views on this cheating? Does he justify it? If not has he raised his opposition to his friend? Just out of curiousity.

    I think it's a good sign that your fiance told you this, it means the level of trust in your relationship is good.
    He trusts her, sure, but he still shouldn't have told her. The woman being cheated on is a good friend of hers and she shouldn't feel guilty about not being able to tell her friend.

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Gender
    Female
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    1,063
    She also may not believe you. Put yourself in her shoes. You'd probably think "why is she telling me this? what's her motive? my bf would never do that" etc etc

Similar Threads

  1. Advise?
    By lasson in forum Love Advice forum
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 21-01-08, 01:12 AM
  2. Advise me please
    By mimi2007 in forum Love Advice forum
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 05-01-08, 06:50 AM
  3. please help me i need advise
    By locopor ti in forum Love Advice forum
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 09-11-07, 05:24 AM
  4. Too Shy, Need Advise :(
    By shychick in forum Love Advice forum
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 14-09-07, 01:34 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •