What is my girlfriend thinking? Does she want to break up and is too scared to say?

**Chenko570** · 07-10-13, 03:09 AM

I've been with my girlfriend for coming up to 6 years now. I have lived with her for almost the same amount of time and when we first started seeing each other she had 2 daughters from a previous relationship who are now 6 and 7. Now we have a daughter of our own who is 19 months old. In the summer i found out that she was "sexting" another man, this involved sending naughty pics and speaking naughty. I confronted her about it and she apologised and said she didn't know what she was thinking and that it was all a big mistake. I then found out she was texting the same man again a month later but without any intimate conversations. I again pulled her up about it and we agreed that talking to him at all after what had previously happened wasn't an option. I occasionally find her googling his name and looking at his facebook page but they haven't spoken for a while now. Last week my girlfriend signed up at Plenty of Fish.com which is an online dating site. On her profile it says shes looking for friends and that shes Not single/ Not looking. Now i know i shouldn't be looking but i have had my suspicions ever since i found out she was sexting. A couple guys have asked her to meet and shes kinda stopped talking to them as she says they are a bit too full on but she also flirts with guys on it. One guy today asked her to meet and she replied with....

"Hmm I dunno. Suddenly feeling shy haha

What and when were you thinking?"

What i'm wondering is why is my girlfriend on an online dating site if shes happy with me? We have had our problems in the past but have managed to work them out. Most recently after the sexting i was going to leave but she made it clear to me that she wanted me to stay. I'm feeling a little confused and don't know whether i should confront her about knowing about her on a dating site or just wait and see if anything bad happens first.

**mollymari** · 07-10-13, 03:29 AM

Hm mm. Confront her.
May I ask if you and her go out often? Dinner date, movie, picnic. Could be she's craving attention and needing 'romance'.
I'd be alarmed too if my partner was 'sexting' and then signing up for on line dating sites. Oh yeah, alarmed.
You have to talk to her. All about preventative methods now. Could be as simply as a little spice. Maybe both of you could sign up to P.O.F as 'not single, not looking' and see who gets more hits. tee hee. Could be fun; Who knows, maybe the mere act of 'going fishing' will be just the right spice. To know your both lovable and desirable to others may help you both remember how desirable you are to each other.
You could sign up yourself before telling her; but if it were me, I'd tell her I know pretty quick. No need to suffer man.
good luck to you

**Boisdevie** · 07-10-13, 03:34 AM

Sounds like your GF has left the relationship but forgot to tell you.

**mollymari** · 07-10-13, 03:45 AM

My last post to yours came from my 'half cup full' side. The other half of the cup?, well, if I found out my significant other was doing what she's doing to you, well, I would flip out. I would.
My partner and I would never do that to each other.
If she needs to connect to other people for advice or sharing stories she cannot share with Family or close friends, she could always join sites like this one.
To 'sext' 'text' or join a dating site when one is attached and spoken for already is a major red flag and in my humble opinion you need to , deserve to, find out what her motivation is. Is it a ploy for attention or is she serious.
You have children. You have allot to think about. I wonder how she would feel if you were the one sexting and signing up on p.o.f
Anyway, you need to confront her, calmly confront her.

**Chenko570** · 07-10-13, 03:48 AM

Originally Posted by mollymari

Hm mm. Confront her.
May I ask if you and her go out often? Dinner date, movie, picnic. Could be she's craving attention and needing 'romance'.
I'd be alarmed too if my partner was 'sexting' and then signing up for on line dating sites. Oh yeah, alarmed.
You have to talk to her. All about preventative methods now. Could be as simply as a little spice. Maybe both of you could sign up to P.O.F as 'not single, not looking' and see who gets more hits. tee hee. Could be fun; Who knows, maybe the mere act of 'going fishing' will be just the right spice. To know your both lovable and desirable to others may help you both remember how desirable you are to each other.
You could sign up yourself before telling her; but if it were me, I'd tell her I know pretty quick. No need to suffer man.
good luck to you

We probably go out for dinner/cinema/drinks/ once every 3 weeks. We have 3 kids so getting a baby sitter can be a problem at times. I never felt she would cheat on me physically but ever since she got a smart phone last year things like this have been pretty progressive.

**Chenko570** · 07-10-13, 03:51 AM

How do i confront her about knowing shes been on p.o.f when i said i wouldn't snoop on her anymore. Won't that just push her further away?

**Chenko570** · 07-10-13, 05:26 AM

Ok so i've just read another message while she is out with her mum. A guy just asked her why shes on here if shes not single and she said

"It's not that I'm not single it's that I'm not looking lol I suppose I am being nosey"

**mollymari** · 19-10-13, 03:34 AM

Ayeee. Oh man, ouch. . I am sitting by my fire doing my afternoon banter here on this site. Have you told her you know yet? You need to. You can't live like that always wondering. No, no you can't. How is that fair to any involved? You need to find out more. Find out why she is even doing this. You have to find out more. Brute truth all round man. It a matter of self respect.

**BackUpOrGetStng** · 19-10-13, 03:44 AM

What is even the point of spying and trying to figure out what's going on? Dump her. If you got stones, cheat on her, then tell her about it, then dump her.

**mollymari** · 19-10-13, 03:46 AM

They have kids man. It sounds a little more complicated and delicate a situation. Perhaps he cannot walk away so easily.

**BackUpOrGetStng** · 19-10-13, 03:47 AM

He can, he just won't. There's a lot more drama on the way..grab your popcorn.

**smackie9** · 19-10-13, 03:51 AM

Stop being a puss and just tell her you know what's up and you are not going to be supporting her ass or her 2 other kids....since she has a hankerin for other guys, then lets see how she does with 3 kids on her own.

Isn't it obvious? She just pasifies you as to not disturb the (you) golden goose.

**smackie9** · 19-10-13, 03:53 AM

And yes he can f uckin just take a walk....many do it everyday. She's being a selfish _unt.

**mollymari** · 20-10-13, 02:06 AM

Well, the jury is in. What are you going to do Chenko?

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What is my girlfriend thinking? Does she want to break up and is too scared to say?

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