My Fiancee and I have been together for eight years, it was wonderful for at least seven of those and we were best friends, lovers and soulmates I really thought we had both found someone we never wanted to be parted from, I proposed to her on bended knee on her birthday while we were on holiday in Spain and we have been engaged for 3 years, neither of us were particularly after the big white wedding so we were happy just to be engaged we were both totally committed to each other.
We were a great team and helped each other, I night-schooled her to pass her English and numeracy exams for her present job and we were both over the moon when she passed, but over the last 9 months or so our relationship seems to have become strained, she withdrew from me and there wasn't the usual intimacy between us, our sex life was still good as it always has been but not as frequent as I might like, the tactile little things like kissing when we met and just little touches of affection seemed to stop and I felt she was behaving as if she was withdrawing emotionally from me.
I did the worse thing because of my suspicions and one night I checked her phone and found text messages to another man, loving messages not the type you send to a friend, We've had little messages of affection that we send to each other and she even used the same messages of affection that she used to send to me.
I was absolutely destroyed, I felt like my whole world had come crashing down around me, she had also sent messages to her friends that spoke of me in a really derogatory way, I was livid and shaking with anger and betrayal.
I confronted her and we had a heated exchange with me doing the shouting and she broke down crying and begging forgiveness.
After we had calmed down she told me through her tears she was ashamed of herself and was so sorry for hurting me, she said the message's were from an old friend, possibly boyfriend who had contacted her through social media, she assured me she hadn't cheated on me just been stupid and sent these texts, she said she had never met up with him which I believe as one message said sorry for not meeting one night when he had asked her to meet up and she hadn't gone, she said she hadn't cheated on me just sent the texts.
I'm very old fashioned and I am totally loyal I've been devoted to her through eight years and even when I have had offers I have never even entertained the thought, I have never and would never do that to someone.
We got through the weekend as she was working shifts and I tried to put it out of my mind but I couldn't, I asked her to leave so I could have some time to think and she took a suitcase to a friends house, we spoke a couple of times in those 3 weeks and i totally forgave her and asked her to come back, she gave me no indication of wether she would or not.
After 3 weeks of hanging on and going through hell every day I needed closure as I was a mess, she came round and we talked, I told her if she didn't love me I would not stop her going but she couldn't do it, through tears she told me still loved me and I do totally believe her but didn't want to come back, at one point she used the word yet but it may have been a slip of the tongue. I said we had got through this and now she was going to throw away eight years and if she still loved me I didn't understand why she would do this, I tried to persuade her and practically begged but she said we had got in a routine which we had and she just wasn't happy although still totally loved me, I work long hours from home and am often on the computer till late while she goes to bed early and I go downstairs and have a beer every night I finally realised we had been living separate lives to some point but I would have changed this behaviour in a heartbeat if I knew it would lead to this, but I'm a typical bloke and don't notice these thing till they hit me or maybe I'm just blaming myself for the breakup, to be honest it has been an issue for a while.
She kissed me and left.. She said she wouldn't ask me or expect me to sit and wait for her, but to be honest I would sit and wait for ever I still totally love her with all my heart.
She has had a history of depression which I have always supported her through giving her time and space when she needed it, she is staying at a friends who I can't help but think is not helping the situation, she has just come through a very messy divorce and is probably slagging me off, she also takes in lodgers and would probably love her to take up residence.
She will have to have contact with me eventually as the rest of her stuff is still here and her dog is with me, she's losing her entire lifestyle as I have a beautiful house from before we met and alone she could only afford to rent a small flat or something.
I feel like my heart has been ripped out, my friends say I should go out and date but I can't even think about it, I don't want to build up 8 years with someone else.. I'm totally leaving her alone no message or text's so she can hopefully have time to miss me and come to her senses, the problems we had were so easy to fix I just though it was the routine that couples got into after a while and I tried to tell her I could change this in an instant but she said she didn't believe I would
My question is do you think she will come back..?