Long Term Relationship Help, Please Read

[blondebrat]

Hi there guys I appreciate any help or insight you can give me. I am in a long term relationship, we have been together 9 years and I am 26 years old. Recently we have hit some speedbumps and I need some advice. Our relationship is a little different in that we allow eachother an open relationship (and I don't see that closing anytime soon). The idea is not for actual dating it's just for hooking up should the thought arise. But we are always eachothers serious relationship. Yesterday we got in a huge fight and amongst the things that came out he told me that I don't make him Horny anymore and thats part of the problem "its not there for him". I am not really sure at what point this happen, but I am guessing the last 6 months. Before then we have always had a very active sex life. I have recently started talking about that I want to get married soon, actually I have been talking about it a lot and he is really against it right now b/c we are boring right now how will we be when we are older?

Basically what I am looking for is some advice on how to make him hot and horny again. Its weird I have had sex with him thousands of times, but now the thought of it makes me nervous (since we had that conversation. I am really looking for some advice to spice it up and if you have a-z step by step that would be great.

I love this man and I want to make sure that I am doing everything to make this work. I appreciate all of your responses.

[vashti]

I think you are asking for help with the wrong thing. What I think you SHOULD be asking is how to get rid of him and get over him quickly. If he loved you, he wouldn't be okay with you having an open relationship. WHy don't you want a man who values you more?

[blondebrat]

Hi there. I don't want to have a closed relationship, it was a agreement with both of us. However I appreciate your response.

[carl1222]

What a mess! Open relationships (as well as swinging) ONLY work when the underlying relationship is solid ... yours isn't.

If he is no longer turned on by you, why in the world would he be interested in getting back the spark when he is allowed to f**k someone else who is providing that kind of excitement?

Your last chance is to close the relationship or let it go.

Carl.

[Lite]

What Carl said. Open relationships are one thing, but if the relationship it is based around isn't absolutely rock solid, you're ****ed.

Now if you want to marry him, and he doesn't want to marry you because you bore him, perhaps you should consider that you're not sexually compatible, and therefore you really probably shouldn't ****ing marry.

[misombra]

he probably hooked up with somebody who he's starting to like.