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Thread: soo I slept with my bestfriend's ex..

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    soo I slept with my bestfriend's ex..

    Well, they were never really officially together. They were dating and they were sexually active and all that but they stopped there intimate relationship with each other a few months back. So it's spring break right now and my best friend and I are invited to this hotel beach weekend thing so we decided to go.

    Now my best friend's ex is also on this trip. It's all fun and just good times I never would of expected anything to happen. The trip is supposed to last 1 more day but my best friend has to head back home for work. So he heads home and I stay for the remaining night.

    There was no flirting or anything the whole night between me and her. We end the day back at the hotel and we get in bed. I happen to be sleeping on the same bed as my best friend's "ex" and she makes some moves on me and we end up having sex. Now she has a boyfriend right now she cheated on him with me that night. But that's not my problem. Now the reason I feel horrible is because of sleeping with her because of my best friend. I feel like I sort of betrayed him and his trust. I don't think I am going to tell him but I'm not sure what I should do.

    Did I do something I shouldn't have? Am I wrong to do something just because there not seeing each other now? I feel bad about it. What should I do? Just act like it never happened and keep it a secret forever or tell him? Is this something I shouldn't even be worried about? It just feels wrong. help me!

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    Illusional's Avatar
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    well you feel bad because of the history they have. now how your friend reacts i cannot say because i dunno how he is. as you know though, there are two ways that he will take it.

    personally it wouldn't matter to me because "I" don't feel for my ex's. yes i still talk to them, yet they are only friends. if two of my friends decides to have sex, so it be.

    if your friend is carefree like me, then he won't get mad. but if he feels that you had other intentions while they were together, then it might bring about some dramas.

    raverboy
    ...this is just my perspective on the situation...

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jbleezyj View Post
    There was no flirting or anything the whole night between me and her. We end the day back at the hotel and we get in bed. I happen to be sleeping on the same bed as my best friend's "ex" and she makes some moves on me and we end up having sex.
    And how did you and her end up or "happen" to be sleeping on the same bed together in the first place, hmmmmmm?

    Quote Originally Posted by Jbleezyj View Post
    Did I do something I shouldn't have? Am I wrong to do something just because there not seeing each other now? I feel bad about it. What should I do? Just act like it never happened and keep it a secret forever or tell him? Is this something I shouldn't even be worried about? It just feels wrong. help me!
    You're damn right you did something you shouldn't have. Exs are forbidden territory. They are like parents. You just don't sleep with them.

    Well, you have two choices. You can tell him and find some incredible way to make it up to him, though there will be trust lost between you (Even if he says there won't be, there will be, it's just the way it is).

    Or, you can keep it a secret and hope the truth will never come out. Cause if it does its going to be very challenging to get your friend back after that. Plus, you'll have to live with a guilty conscience for as long as it takes. Guilty conscience around best friend = acting wierd, not looking him straight in the eye, feeling incredibly guilty and all sorts of those wonderful things to look forward to.

    But in the end, it's your decision to make. Weight the pros and cons. Go for what will work for you.
    Don't cry, don't regret and don't blame
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    Uncertainty's gone, your path will unravel
    Accept all as it is and do not blame
    God or the Devil
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mishanya View Post
    And how did you and her end up or "happen" to be sleeping on the same bed together in the first place, hmmmmmm?
    Wondering the same thing...

    I'm glad my friends and I won't get into situations like this. My best friends and I have total opposite taste in men, even if we did have the same taste - it wouldn't happen cause we know better.

    I'm not saying you're a bad person but some people take "unwritten rules" very seriously. You know your best friend better than anyone (that is why you guys are best friends) so maybe that is why you slept with his ex - thinking that he'd be cool about it? I wouldn't give two hoots about the girl as she cheated on her BF so there's no respect there for her.

    People talk - she might slip out and tell someone how good you were or how fantastic her Spring Break was cause she cheated on her BF - who knows.

    I'm with Mishanya - either you tell him or keep it a secret and pray hard the truth won't come out.
    Boredom sucks the colour out of you!

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    Aww...you are one lucky guy!! Next time you can chat with your best friends about his ex's bed experience.

    Lucky i don't have best friend like you, but, i understand you are a guy, hard to turn down an offer like that.

    Still...u lucky besterd....
    It’s hard to find someone whom u truly love, much less to find someone who loves u as much.
    When the chance comes, don't ever let go.

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    If I were in your position, I'd confess to your friend immediately. The chances are pretty good that he'll find out anyway.

    Make sure to make a big display of your remorse and self-disgust.
    Spammer Spanker

  7. #7
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    It never happened, the ex girlfriend is just trying to ruin your friendship with him. Get this girl out of the picture, she sounds like trouble.

    Oh and now that you know how offensive it is to do such a thing, hopefully you've learned your lesson.

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    This was a spring break getaway with a bunch of other friends and we had a 3 bedroom hotel and all the other couples were on the other beds so we ended up sleeping together since we were the only non couple there.

    I'm not sure what I would say to him if I told him. I think if I keep it a secret it hopefully won't get out since she said to not tell anyone cause she has a boyfriend. I just hope I can live with the guilt and make him forgive me if it ever does get out. =(

    There was 2 other people sleeping in the same room we were in while we were having sex but we did it while they were sleeping but only one of them knows because she could just tell by the way we looked at each other in the morning. She's my real close friend so hopefully word won't spread.

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    I've done that before. It was one of my big-time f-ck-ups. I called him the next day - on my way to meet him up the coast for a surfing trip. We ended up having a drunken "fight for honour" in the backyard of this beach shack while the next door neighbour hollered at us to be quiet. After that it was fine.

    The big question is if he's still hung up on her. If he doesn't he probably won't care at all, but if he's still into her....

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jbleezyj View Post
    This was a spring break getaway with a bunch of other friends and we had a 3 bedroom hotel and all the other couples were on the other beds so we ended up sleeping together since we were the only non couple there.
    Ahahaha! I'm having flashes of that 'Frasier' episode where they all go to a ski lodge for the weekend.... 'musical bedrooms'
    Second thoughts can generally be amended with judicious action; injudicious actions can seldom be recovered with second thoughts.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jbleezyj View Post
    so hopefully word won't spread.
    It's your conscience and your guilt to live with
    Don't cry, don't regret and don't blame
    Weak find the whip, willing find freedom
    Towards the sun, carry your name
    In warm hands you are given
    Ask the wind for the way
    Uncertainty's gone, your path will unravel
    Accept all as it is and do not blame
    God or the Devil
    ~Born to Live - Mavrik~

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jbleezyj View Post
    we ended up sleeping together since we were the only non couple there.
    Wasn't the floor not big enough for you to sleep on?

    Quote Originally Posted by Jbleezyj View Post
    I just hope I can live with the guilt and make him forgive me if it ever does get out. =(
    This is JMO and IME - it's better for a best friend to come clean with me BEFORE I found out about whatever she did from someone else. I would be much more hurt if I heard it from someone else. Please don't think guys don't feel the same way.

    Quote Originally Posted by Jbleezyj View Post
    There was 2 other people sleeping in the same room we were in while we were having sex but we did it while they were sleeping but only one of them knows because she could just tell by the way we looked at each other in the morning. She's my real close friend so hopefully word won't spread.
    I wouldn't be too sure about the other couple sleeping! Again, I'd be praying hard for my best friend not to find out - if I were you.

    There's no point in wishing it didn't happen etc cause it already did. Too late for you to undo the sex part.

    Hope it was worth it.
    Boredom sucks the colour out of you!

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    Quote Originally Posted by FoxyLaydee View Post
    I wouldn't be too sure about the other couple sleeping! .
    I thought the same thing when I read that. Come on, I would definitely hear two people having sex in the same room as me, even if I was asleep. I hope I never do, though, ick.

    Like someone else said, let's just hope this is a girl that your buddy isn't still hung up on, or it could be ugly. I personally would confess it immediatly, and do the honorable thing. That way your guilt seems more genuine, and you're being a man about it, as well as a good friend. Secrets have a way of getting out, eventually.
    Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever. - Mohandas Gandhi

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    your right I probably should tell him but I just don't know how to let it out or what to say. I think Ima need to take a while and think about it. I hope things don't change he isn't hung up over this girl they were basically just fck buddies that went out. I wonder how he will take it and if he will be fine with it. Or if he will trust me. I can only hope for the best. And no the sex wasn't even worth it. It was hard to enjoy it because we were trying to be so quiet and discreet about it. I got her off but she didn't me =(.

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    that shit is straight up trifling.
    baby ya hustle. but me i hustle harder.


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