My fiance keeps flirting online with women, and I dont know what to do.

[sweetjalepenos]

I know for a fact he isnt physically cheating on me, I know for a fact he loves me. We both love each other to death...i mean TO DEATH. He has done this twice the first time it hurt me alot but he told me it was because he lacked confidence and he needed me to help him build it back because it was a problem he had been fighting for quite a long time. The second time i caught him doing it he says he feels the need to flirt with these girls when he's stressed and feels I'm not giving him something he needs whether its attention or confidence. I make sure I go out of my way to try and make him feel like a king. But whenever something is bothering him, I almost have to pry it out of him because he's horrible at expressing himself. I must admit the second time I was under a huge amount of stress so I assuming i was neglectful for a few days. When I found out about him flirting and sexting, I confronted him. He told me it was because he was stressed and he felt I was neglecting him. After a day and a half of arguing and crying I we agreed to communicate more often and to stay together. So the next day, I browsed the website just to make sure he deleted the page, only to discover not only did he still have the page, but he was online at that very moment. So I called him immediately, he told me he was sleeping, He kept lying and wouldn't be honest that he was just online. I was crying because he kept lying and he refused to tell me the truth. So being the genius I am lol I figured out his login, and after that he started crying and begging me to take him back, he said he was stupid and it as a mistake and he begged me to give him another chance, he says he kept lying because he was afraid to tell me the truth because he didn't want to hurt me (ironically he was hurting me more by lying).But I loved him so much I did take him back. But now I can't trust him. I feel angry and betrayed. And now I'm afraid that if we get married and we have a rough patch, instead of him talking to me he's going to take it a step further and cheat on me because he feels I'm neglecting him. I just need some advice, ddid I do right by staying with him. Do you think it will get any worse. I just need help on what to do.

[Rowen]

I know for a fact he loves me.

Do you? I believe that you love him, but I don't believe he loves you.

The second time i caught him doing it he says he feels the need to flirt with these girls when he's stressed and feels I'm not giving him something he needs whether its attention or confidence.

Yeah, this is all I really need to hear to believe he doesn't love you. If he thinks he needs something more, then he's not satisfied in your relationship. You've clearly been doing all you can do to appeal to him, but it's never enough. He treats you like a doormat by thinking it's okay to just go and flirt with anyone he fancies online while it hurts you. He knows it hurts you, so don't you dare sit there and deny that, either. He keeps going back and doing this, not considering how it makes you feel. That makes him a selfish man, and it's something like that which makes love pretty much impossible. So, let me ask you. Why would you want to stick around a guy who you do everything for and asks for a light-year after you gave him a thousand miles when you could, oh, I don't know.....be around a man who never makes you feel like all you do isn't good enough for him? Appreciates every little thing he does for you and lets you know he loves you by the look in his eyes- letting you know he'd never dream of hurting you.

You deserve better. You deserve a guy who is going to respect you and would consider how you would feel in a situation like that.... Hell...a man who wouldn't even put you in a relationship like that. And don't you dare sit there and think there aren't men out there who are like that. There are. And you will find one like that if you allow yourself to try after you heal.

My best suggestion is to leave him behind. Otherwise, you'll marry this guy, and it will get worse. I had a similar experience with my ex. I tried showing him just how much he meant to me. I was there for him and tried to help him through his problems. In the end, no matter what I did wasn't good enough, and he looked towards other men and a few women for what he said I couldn't give him. Each time, I always blamed myself because he made it out to be like that. And it seems like the same thing your man is doing to you. Leave now while you can...

[bearz]

He's flirting with other women and he has hard time being honest and open with you, unless you beat it out of him like you said. You can't trust him right now and that's not a good basis for a marriage.

[HeartIsAching]

He's insecure and seeking affirmation from other women. If this is a boundary for you, tell him. If he violates that boundary, dump him.

[VincenzoG91]

Marriage isn't going to make him a better person and fix this relationship. He isn't sorry that he does it, just sorry that he got caught. And that second time, he started blaming you. What a jerk! Don't marry this guy.

[basilandthyme]

My bet is that he'll keep doing to and keep blame you for it.

[bcgirl]

I think he has already cheated on you emotionally. He knew how devestatec it made you feel that he was sexting and flirting and promised never to do it again yet he did and lied to you till you caught him red handed. I don't think cheating is only physical but can definitely be emotional as well...in some cases, this can be worse

[michelle23]

I think once men start doing what he is doing-it means he wants to cheat on you and will if an opportunity presents herself to him. He is insecure and needs attention to make himself feel more attractive.

Insecurity is like a disease in a relationship and he will without a doubt cheat on you at some point. You should not marry him. Find someone confident with inner strenght and integrity.

This will always be an issue unless he learn a lesson hell never forget and he probably also needs counselling.

He practically said it himself "your not enough" dont take that as an insult. The fact is nobody will ever be enough for this man. He has low self esteem and needs validation or approval from others. That will not change.