A tricky situation

[rawfan1989]

I am kind of disappointed with how everything has turned out. I don't know why I can not attract anyone who I am attracted to. It seems like I am missing something. Here is the thing my cousin wants me get to know this person that I am not attracted to, I checked her out on facebook she seems nice but I am not feeling it. I hate wording it like that but that is the only way I know how to. Problem is I don't know how to communicate it towards my cousin because I do not want to cause hard feelings. Plus I am going through personal issues surrounding the thing, lets just say I wish I never knew this person and never met this person. I got turned down by her. Now I realize that she did not find me attractive, so I guess I am in her (the one who turned me down) shoes. But one thing I can not stand is that I could never attract the attractive. In the last 4 years I have been in college I have had not one relationship and not only that I have never had anyone refer to anyone either. Sometimes I don't know anything any more. I know one thing is that I want to be myself when I am around them (those) I like because it shows honesty. Another problem is that my cousin has invited her to come to my school and thought it would be cool to hangout which I am not 100% comfortable in doing. So I do not know what to do or say? I don't want two things one cause hard feelings two be the reason of someones broken heart.

[Tanguerra]

Why not just go? What's the worst thing that could happen? You go out on the date and it's boring or you don't have a great time or you feel a bit awkward or whatever. What's the best thing that would happen? You never know. Maybe you just got off on the wrong foot with this girl last time? Maybe she's really nice once you get to know her. Facebook isn't really a good way to get to know what someone's really like, although it does give you a head start to know what kind of stuff she likes. It could be a conversation starter at least. Maybe even if you don't end up going on any more 'dates' you could make a new friend. Friends have friends. If they like you they'll introduce you and invite you to parties and things. That's how you make new friends after all.

You say you haven't met any girls in four years? How have you been going about meeting girls? Have you been hanging out where girls hang out, like the library or a cooking class or a dance class or something like that where you might have a chance to talk to some nice girls? Or do you mostly hang out with guys doing guy stuff? Do you get out and about a bit, maybe go and listen to some music where you'd have a chance to hang out with people your own age and maybe make some new friends? Who knows your new friend might have a friend who has a nice friend who's just looking for a guy like you.

Importantly, make sure you're a good 'catch'. You've got to use the right bait if you want to catch a fish. Do you take good care of your appearance and make sure you always dress nicely and have a decent haircut and a shave and that kind of thing? Do you know a couple of jokes or funny stories or have something interesting to talk about (that girls might be interested in, you know, not football or something). Maybe even just a book or a movie you've seen recently - some kind of interesting conversation starter. If in doubt, always ask a girl about herself - what does she do for a living, what's her favourite colour, does she have a cat, what kind of music does she like.... Listen to the answer, then ask her a question about it (oh yeah, what kind of cat?) and before you know it you've got a conversation going on. Do you stand up straight, smile and look people in the eye when you talk to them? All these things will make anyone more 'attractive' even if they're not lucky enough to look like Brad Pitt.